lori

GK Chesterton Reading

2012-01-19T05:38:00.002-06:00

Perhaps God exhalts in monotony
perhaps God is "stuck" in internal infancy
a place of awe and wonder
a place of play and discovery
a place of joy and trust
Every day He says to his creation "do it again"

Things I learn from my kids

2012-01-19T05:00:00.000-06:00

In the last year or so Allie has become more aware of what it means to be adopted. She's always trying to figure out how everyone is related to each other, who's her step brother and sister, and their spouses.

After yet another conversation explaining that Daddy (Randy) is both her and Sarah's father, but Kaitlyn's grandpa, Allie pops up with, "I have 3 daddys."

I'm quite sure that another conversation along with illustrations of the family tree is around the corner. But being Allie she surprises me with,
"I have Daddy - Randy;
I have my China-Daddy; and
I have God my Father, who is my daddy."

Once again she surprised with her deep and profound understanding of God.

Sacred Time with my Daughter

2012-01-16T20:32:00.003-06:00

The guys were at an all day basketball tournament and my 8-year old daughter Allie and I were having lunch at China House. (Allie was 20 months old when we adopted her from China)

In the midst of our conversation Allie said, "You are my real mom, but not my birth mom." I nodded and affirmed her statement, "Yes, you are correct." Then I asked, "Do you ever think about your birth mom?"

Allie replied, "Yes, but she is probably old, like 100 years old. Or maybe she's dead."

I listened then said, "I doubt she's dead. I think she might be young...young like your sister Sarah who is 30 years old."

Allie asked, "Could I meet her? [her birth mom]

I said, "No, because we don't know her name."

Allie said, "Well I could write her a letter and send it to her."

I paused, "Writing a letter is a good idea, but I don't think she would get it...what would you say to her?"

Allie stated, "I am your daughter, Allison Min Joy Tate."

She stops and laughs then tells me her birth mom would not know that name, so Allie replaces it with her Chinese name, Tong Min-Min. This is also a name her birth mom would not recognize, but Allie continues her imaginary letter,

"Even though you did not keep me, I would still love you." Signed Allie

What a statement of faith.
Allie teaches me so much about my own faith. I believe that all kids have a deep sensitivity to God's Spirit, but God's grace has touched this kid's life and she knows it and has a heart of graditude.

Surprise

2012-01-10T06:42:00.004-06:00

Last January after the death of my dad; 2 major surgeries; and a tough year in ministry a friend gave me a devotional book called "Jesus Calling." I was very thankful for my friend's gesture and deeply appreciated her prayers and support; however, to be honest I was suspect of a devotional book. Devotional books are very personal and what one person loves another person may not.

I was surprised that I fell in love with "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. I immediately connected with her story because it began in the community of L'Abri started by Francis & Edith Schaeffer. Sarah's writings are a blessing and encouragement each day -- to connect to the Father, Son and Spirit; to live in the flow and grace of the Spirit; to trust and wait on God; to rest and not strive for approval and recognition.

Even though I do not read the devotion every day, I can't tell you the numerous times I have sat and wept because the words written were exactly what I needed for that moment. I gave a copy of this book to my wwKids leaders. Often I would text various leaders asking, "Did you read your book?" believing that the words would touch them as well.

Sarah also has a kid's edition of "Jesus Calling" which I love as much as the adult version.

God's gifts and blessings often come in packages I don't readily appreciate. My desire today is to have eyes to see and join in where the Spirit is moving.

Reflections on Mary - Luke 1.26-38

2012-01-08T20:48:00.002-06:00

I want to be beautiful on the inside and out like Mary.

When I am thoroughly shaken, trembling with fear
I want to be like Mary.

When I have doubts and questions about how things will play out
I want to be like Mary.

When God remind me that nothing is impossible with Him (1.36)
I want to be like Mary and respond,
"Yes, I see it all now, I am ready to serve." (1.38)

When God's plan involves uncertainty and public embarrassment,
I want to be like Mary and respond,
"Let it be with me just as you say." (1.38)

When God's way is unclear and I can't see the trail
I want to be like Mary, confident
"believing what God said, believing that every word will come true." (1.45)

Luke 2.33. . . "this child (this situation) will mark both the failure and recovery of many in this community. . . a figure misunderstood and contradicted -- the pain of a sword thrust through me. But the rejection will force honesty in the community as God reveals who they really are."
Then I will be like Mary.

Blogging: Why do it?

2011-12-22T19:51:00.002-06:00

Haven't blogged in a while because I found myself . . .
Worrying about what I was going to write.
Wondering if it was important enough to share.
Questioning my motivations for blogging.

Life has been full, maybe too full and blogging was one of those things I could put on hold while I sorted out my thoughts.

Blogging is good for me. It helps me communicate my thoughts and often I develop a greater personal understanding in the process. I share this with others, because I hope and pray that something touches your life and encourages you.

Blessings -

Why did my mom not keep me?

2011-09-28T20:11:00.001-05:00

It's hard to believe it's been 6 years since we were in China. Allie, is the oldest of the Tongling 12 and she turned 8 on September 20. Tomorrow, Sept 29, is the day that she was found. I think about her birth mom a lot this time of year.

We have had some interesting conversations about our family. One day Allie asked questions about her older siblings (age 31 and 27). She asked, "what is a step sister?" I explained that she and her older sister, Sarah, have the same dad but a different mom. Allie was quiet than asked, "Do I have a step-mom in China?" I replied, "No, you have a biological mom in China." We talked about how Jeff, our 11 year son, grew in my tummy; but Allie do not grow in my tummy.

Then she asked the kicker. . . "Why did my mom not keep me?" WOW

I paused and said, "I don't know...I believe that she loved you very much, but maybe she couldn't take care of you."

Then I told her story about another mom who loved her baby boy very much, but the government was trying to hurt the little boy. The mom, and the boy's bigger sister did what they could to protect the little guy, but the mom eventually let another family raise and care for her son, so that he was safe. That little boy was named Moses.

My husband does a lot of teasing in our family. One day, Allie teasingly called me, "My not real mom." I laughed at her and responded back, "yes, my real daughter!" She giggled and smiled.

She's beginning to grasp the concept of adoption.
Just interesting conversations that often leave me "pondering things in my heart!"

Is Forgiveness Conditional or Free?

2011-08-08T07:16:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a particular piece of scripture makes me uncomfortable.

Like in Matthew 6.14-15 where Jesus says, “If you forgive others, then God will forgive you, but if you don’t forgive others then God won’t forgive you.” I could not reconcile this verse with the other one in 1 John 1.9 that says, “If we confess our sins then God is faithful to forgive all your sins.” One passage seems to be very conditional, God may or may not forgive my sins, the “forgiveness” depends on me. The other passage promises that God will forgive all my sins.

After years of holding these two scriptures in “tension” the Spirit gave me a new perspective and insight. (NOTE: this is one role of the Holy Spirit, to teach and guide me)

God’s forgiveness is ALWAYS available to me. Yes, I need to repent and confess my sin, those actions are required of me. However the extent to which I receive God’s forgiveness is dependent upon me.

If I can or only allow myself to give small portions of forgiveness to my family, co-workers, friends, then that is all the forgiveness I can receive and experience from God the Father.

On the other hand, the more forgiveness I am able to receive from God – meaning I am able to receive his tender love and grace and forgiveness for myself and not beat myself up – the more grace and forgiveness I am compelled (able, willing and wanting) to give to others.

It is a cycle. The more grace, love and forgiveness I receive the more grace, love and forgiveness I am able to give; thereby increasing my own ability to receive even more grace, love and forgiveness from God the Father.

wwKids Art & Drama Camp

2011-07-31T21:12:00.002-05:00

Just had the best week at Westwinds Church.

My very creative, talented and dedicated team created an awesome Art & Drama Camp experience for the kids. We exceeded our registration goal; 60% of the kids were from Westwinds and 40% of the kids were from the community: and we extended the camp to include preschoolers through 6th grade. Over 200 people came to see the camp's final performance of our 60 kids.

Our kids designed and painted imaginary landscapes and then colored, cut and beaded their own unique camp t-shirts, then had their friends and counselors sign the shirt. Our kids memorized an original song, written by Chad Cecil, called "Love, Joy, Peace & Self-control." Our kids experienced first hand how movies can be used to learn about God. Then they sang and danced.

Our student leaders worked hard and loved on little kids. One day I looked out the window and saw my 11-year old son, along with my 19-year old nephew playing "duck, duck, goose" with a bunch of preschoolers.

Below is a short animoto of the kids. Also on facebook's Westwinds Kids Journey there is a video recording of the performance.

Thanks again to my awesome wwKids leaders and volunteers. Love ya.

Trust & Obey

2011-07-24T05:53:00.002-05:00

Trust and obey (listen - the root word for obey is the word listen)

Trust & obey & trust

In quietness and peace . . . "My strength will come when you (Lori)
completely depend on Me, your Father" (Is. 30.15)

I do depend on You;
then I am fearful
then I try to take control.

Perfect LOVE casts out all FEAR

Your love washes over me -
refreshing
cleansing
removing deris and crap.
Leaving my "true self"

The TRUE Lori Ann
You created and designed and nurtured
and loved forth.

Help me continue to become that woman
SO THAT
I can be a blessing to others
and Shadow God; help heal the world; and build Your Church.

amen.

Are Faeries for Real?

2011-06-05T08:40:00.001-05:00

This spring I’ve been creating a “faerie garden” for my 7.5 year old daughter, Allie. It started off by cutting vines and pulling a ton of creeping, crawling ground cover. We’ve created several entry ways into the secret garden and a table made out of logs and a board. It’s becoming a secret hide away for Allie and I love to see and hear her play

As I worked in the faerie garden, Allie and I talked about what faerie liked and where they lived. We watched the Tinkerbell movie and built a faerie house out of an oatmeal container.

The other day while Allie and I were in the faerie garden she asked me, “Mom, are faeries for real?”

Whenever a kid asks me a great but tough question my first response is often affirming, “That is a great question!” My response buys me at least a few seconds to formulate some type of answer.

After a moment or two, I responded to Allie. “I believe in miracles. . . I believe that God does miracles and sometimes we are so busy that we don’t notice what He is doing. When you come back to your faerie garden and are quiet and pay attention, I think you will see things that other kids are too busy to notice like a faerie.”

The Spirit, part of the trinity, is present and working in “Mysterious Ways,” but often I am too busy to notice. If there is one gift I desire for my kids and our wwKids to learn, it is to pay attention - to notice, to be aware, to be still and quiet - so they can see and experience God presence.

Don’t be afraid when your kids ask tough questions about God or life. It’s OK to say that you don’t know the answer. Most of the times there are no right or wrong answers but it gives us an opportunity to share and teach what we do know, what we have personally experienced with God the Creator.

When Allie and I were in the faerie garden a bug was fluttering around. I noticed the movement of the wings and asked Allie, “What it that? Is that a moth or a butterfly?” She looked closely at the fluttering and said, “Mom, it could be a faerie!”

Silent Retreat III - What do I desire from God?

2011-04-11T04:43:00.002-05:00

While every year the silent retreat experience is different there are some similarities. One common occurrence is that each retreat starts with the participants sharing what they desire to receive from God. My spoken desire for the weekend was the grace to “trust myself; to trust the Spirit working in and through me.” My spiritual director affirmed that my DESIRE for God, is his HOPE for me. The Spirit and I are in agreement. We are working towards the same thing. God is giving me the desires of my heart.

Silent Retreat II - Everyone needs to be silent

2011-04-04T17:42:00.001-05:00

Mother Teresa says that silence is the language of God. Being silent is not about what type of personality you have. Being silent is a discipline that teaches you to listen. Again Mother Teresa says that “it is in the silence of the heart that God speaks. God is the friend of silence. . . we need to listen to God because it’s not what we say but what He says to us and through us that matters.” So years after my friend asked me, “Does everyone need to be silent?” my answer is no longer hesitant but rather a strong, confident, “Yes, everyone needs to be silent.” What that looks like will look different depending upon your season of life, but yes, everyone needs to be silent.

Silent Retreat I

2011-04-02T16:00:00.003-05:00

I attended my fifth silent retreat with eight other companions last weekend. We were at Victory Noll Center in Huntington, Indiana. While every year the experience is different there are some similarities.

Silence makes me willing; not willful. Silence makes me attentive. Silence helps remove distractions that interfere with me hearing God. Silence centers me and lets me catch glimpses of my true-self.

Once a friend shared that she just could NOT be silent. It wasn’t part of her makeup, she explained. Then she asked my opinion about “being silent,” did I think everyone needed to be silent? I hesitated with my answer, not wanting to be dogmatic, I replied, “I think everyone needs to find a way to be silent.”

It's all about me!

2011-03-22T07:30:00.002-05:00

"Love can happen only in the realm of freedom. Without inner freedom on both sides there can be no true love relationship - only duty, fear or obligation. So it is all a matter of growing in freedom, which could be called 'growing in grace.' " R. Rohr

See, it really is "all about me."
It's about me and the work that Spirit does in me.
I can't change many of my circumstances;
I can't change or "fix" other people.

The only thing I can do is trust and believe that Spirit is working in me.

Spirit, you promise to remind me what I have been taught before.
Spirit, you promise to guide and lead me in righteousness.
Spirit, give me courage to trust and obey.
Let me fully accept the gift of the Father's LOVE and
experience the healing and freedom it brings.
Amen.

What do you desire from God?

2011-03-10T08:22:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday; it marked the beginning of Lent, the period of time before Easter.

What do I seek, what do I desire to receive from God during this time? A deepening confidence and courage in myself, not in my own abilities but in the Spirit’s work in me. I want to believe and live out the belief that God’s Spirit is working in me AND in those around me.

I love that the Spirit, that God loves each of us uniquely. I love how our spiritual journey is designed for each of us through the Spirit. When I am truly believing and trusting that God’s Spirit is working in each of us, I am less judgmental! I experience the fruit of the spirit - love, joy, peace, confidence.

For me, spiritual disciplines can become another way of legalism. I can desire that every day of Lent I will post a new blog entry. That sounds great and maybe even spiritual, but most likely I’ll become more self-absorbed, as I try to write something “inspiring” that most likely no one will read. So for me at this time in my life, I have found that there are a few disciplines that I must hold fast to.

I MUST get adequate rest. Not only am I not a good wife, mom, or follower of Jesus when I am tired but my spirit becomes critical. A critical spirit is dangerous for me; it’s a foothold for Satan. When I am tired, I do not think creatively. For me at this time in my life, rest/sleep is a key component to my spiritual walk.

I MUST have time alone with God. Where and how it happens is less important than making sure it happens. It can be early in the morning; it can alone in my car; or it can be walking outside. For a new mom, your alone time with God may be in the shower! Or it may be when you are holding your baby. As the weather changes, gardening will be another way that I spend time alone with God.

Enjoy the freedom you have to uniquely connect to God. What fits with your personality? what draws you closer to God?

2011-02-24T04:40:00.000-06:00

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5.22-23

Mother Teresa The Simple Path
The fruit of silence is PRAYER.
The fruit of prayer is FAITH.
The fruit of faith is LOVE.
The fruit of love is SERVICE.
The fruit of service is PEACE.

Our world will seek these attributes like they are a prize to be earned and won.

I want to be more loving, so I work at loving others or serving others.
I want to be more peaceful, so I mediate and strive to simplify my life style.
We don’t get these attributes as prizes but rather as a result of our relationship with the “perfect” human being – Jesus Christ. They are the by-product of our relationship with Jesus.

We seek Jesus,
we seek to know Him
we seek to follow Him more nearly
we seek to see Him more clearly
we seek to love Him more dearly . . . day by day (Ignatius)

We seek first the kingdom of God,
We seek first Jesus Christ and . . . all these things shall be added

I am inspired by others

2011-02-23T02:59:00.003-06:00

"A true fellowship is a group of believers who by simply being together spur each other on to greater transformation." E.Stanley Jones.

I know that I have killed this quote hundreds of times, but the truth of this paraphrased explanation of fellowship rings so true in my life. I am inspired by those I rub shoulders with.

I am inspired by my friend, who is committed to having difficult conversations this year. She is no longer going to quietly/secretly disagree, but when appropriate she will lovingly share her perception/beliefs/views. I have had some hard conversations with individuals, because I was inspired by this friend.

I am inspired by another friend, who is purusing her dream. She made a vision poster of who she wants to become and where she wants to be professionally. Her courage, her vision, her hardwork and inspires me to pursue some creative outlets that I have set aside.

I am inspired by another friend, who is consistently puts family as the first priority in his life. Even though life is full of work, school, ministry, etc., his family is priority. I am a better wife and mom, just because I rub shoulders with this guy.

I am inspired by another friend, who is choses to see the best in everyone, because he recognizes the "image of God" in each person he encounters and celebrates that uniqueness. I am a better Jesus follower, just because I am in the presence of this person.

Today, I thank God for these friends and the other many other friends that touch and inspire me to grow closer to God.

Walking - again

2011-02-09T04:32:00.002-06:00

The last couple of days the dog and I have walked out to the pond. It felt great to be outside, walking through 12 inches of snow. The sun was out but it was bitter cold. The dog just loved it. Jake would bury his nose in the snow, come up and shake his head. Overhead I saw the red-tail hawk, screeching as it soared over the fields to its nest in the tall pines.

So thankful that I can walk and get outside. Valentines Day of 2010 was the last time I walked at MacCready reserve. Maybe next week, I will adventure out again.

A New Season

2011-01-04T09:39:00.000-06:00

A season of hope,
restoration & renewal

A season of faithfulness,
commitment to live honestly

A season of patient trust,
grace & gentleness, healing

All is gift,
All shall be well.

Unfamiliar Path - III

2011-01-03T09:31:00.000-06:00

Barabara Brown Taylor: Leaving Church - a memoir of faith

Like every believer I know, my search for real life has led me through at least three distinct seasons of faith, not once or twice, but over and over again. Jesus called them finding life, losing life, and finding life again, with the paradoxical promise that finders will be losers while those who lose their lives for his sake will wind up finding them again.

In Greek the word is psyche, meaning not only "life" but also the conscious self, the personality, the soul. You do not have to die in order to discover the truth of this teaching, in other words. You only need to lose track of who you are, or who you thought you were suppose to be, so that you end up lying flat on the dirt floor basement of your heart.

Do this, Jesus says, and you will live.

Unfamiliar Path - II

2011-01-02T09:17:00.000-06:00

Back in August Dave told his African safari story where he learned to track wild animals. When he lost the animal's tracks Dave was ready to look for another set of tracks to follow. But Dave's teacher/mentor tracking guy said no, you follow the obvious path. Keep heading towards the watering hole, that's where all the animals will end up.

Even though my path is unfamiliar it doesn't mean I look for another path to follow. I am confident that this path leads me towards God. In the meantime however I will cling to the very basics of my faith. I will follow the obvious path.

Jesus loves me

this I know

for the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong

they are weak, but

He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me

Unfamiliar Path

2011-01-01T08:27:00.004-06:00

6 months of chronic pain - January - June
4 months of heavy pain meds - May, June, July, Aug/Dec
2 major surgeries - total hip replacements - July 7, 2010 & December 14, 2010
1 Doctorate of Ministry - May 9, 2010
1 father passed away - January 19,2010

At the end of 2010 I find myself on a very unfamiliar path of my journey. Spiritual disciplines that I have known and practiced seem out of reach, but I trust "the process." I trust that Spirit is present.
. . . "through the heartfelt mercies of my God
God's Sunrise will break in upon me;
shining on those in darkness
those sitting in the shadows of death,
then showing me the way, one foot at a time,
down the path of peace" Luke 1.78-79 msg

She is guiding me, one foot at a time, down the path of peace. I trust that this unfamiliar path over time, will draw me closer to the Heart of God.

Kids Literature: Some of my favorites

2010-12-04T08:05:00.002-06:00

Kids books that I like. I like these books because of their themes, for their illustrations, for the conversations that can follow, for their silliness. Many of the books are not written by Christian authors, but reflect God’s truth.

I'd love to hear what are some of your favorite kids literature. Drop me a note.

I Love you Stinky Face – Lisa McCourt
silly, lots of laughter, about unconditional love – toddlers & older

I love you this much – Lynn Hodges
we make it fun by yelling some of the phrases really loud – toddlers & older

Good Night God – Holly Bea
great book about seeing God in everything – toddler & older

Sandy Eisenberg Sasso – Jewish rabbi who understands kids’ spirituality. Excellent books with awesome illustrations. Sandy’s books are thought provoking. Ask your kids “wonder questions” I wonder what is your favorite name for God.
these books are for preschool age and older

What is God’s Name
In God’s Name
God in Between
I am God’s Paintbrush

God’s Echo: Exploring Scripture with Midrash – awesome book for adults

The Story of Ruby Bridges – Robert Cole
true story about the first African girl who attend a white school, speaks of her faith in God and courage. Love this book, I still cry when I read it. – preschool age and older

Walter Wangerin – wonderful storyteller and author

Mary’s First Christmas – Walter Wangerin, illustrated by Tim Ladwig
Mary tells a Yeshi (a young Jesus) the special story about his birth – preschool age and older

In the Beginning there was No Sky – Walter Wangerin
beautiful illustration, a wonderful story about being created with love – preschool age and older

Water Come Down: When you were baptized – Walter Wangerin
Even though we do not do infant baptisms itw is a great story about God’s promise to you

I don’t have your Eyes – Carrie Kitze
Simple book about looking different but we are all the same because we all love in the same way. I especially liked this book because my daughter and I do not physically look the same. – toddler & older

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble – William Steig
Endearing story about a family, lost and found – preschool age & older

Psalm 23 – Barry Moser
beautifully illustrated version of Psalm 23

The Lord’s Prayer – Tim Ladwig
he has two versions, I especially like the one with the cover of the father and daughter holding hands. The words are the Lord’s Prayer, but the illustrations bring out another aspect of the story. – toddler & older

How Leo Learned to be King – Marcus Pfister & J. Alison James
Good story about a lion who learns to serve others – toddler & older

Giraffes Can’t Dance - Giles Andreae & Guy Parker
Good story about being unique, how God created us the same but different – toddler & older

Papa, Do You Love Me? – Barbara M. Joosse
African culture, precious story about father & son, unconditional love – preschool age & older

My family really enjoys the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon series by Nickelodeon . We haven’t read the books, so I can’t comment on them. Age appropriate for old preschool & elementary. You know best what your kids can handle.

wwKids Haunted House

2010-11-03T04:53:00.004-05:00

Gratitude – Celebration – Excitement – Electrifying Energy
– Future Opportunities!

This was a huge week for wwKids on many levels and with many various groups of people. So MUCH Jesus stuff happening.

HALLOWEEN: Kids’ Haunted House – Sunday was awesome. Exciting, fun, full of teachable moments , helping our kids know that even though we are afraid, God says, “don’t be afraid, for I am with you; don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will help you.” (Isaiah 41.9b-10)

We used fringe volunteers – those who loved kids (or me) but don’t serve regularly in with the kids – they were a huge asset so that our faithful teachers & leaders, got a break. A satellite group bagged candy and baked cookies for us. We were able to invite several other wwKids volunteers into a deeper “serving” experience, building vision and excitement for what happens behind the scenes! We had a great Confronting Fears article on Saturday, October 30, in the Citizen Pat with a photo of Leigh MacCready. The article truly represented what WW was intending to accomplish with a Halloween celebration! We used Mel Evans artistic skills and promoted the Haunted House at Paragon school via an one-of-a-kind kids coloring book.

We had 220 kids Sunday morning. That is 70 more than we usually have. While this number is very exciting we WON on some many levels. To maximize this win, we need to tell the story of what God is doing in wwKids and invite them along as well.

HALLOWEEN: Family Movie Nite – 126 people came to the movies. Sheryl Amburgey (Tolonen) gave 3 or 4 new families – first time stepping into WW – tours.

2010-10-27T07:10:00.000-05:00

There are times that I get up early to sit quietly, to pray, to listen and then my mind goes crazy. I begin to plan what needs to be done today, I worry about what I didn’t get done yesterday.

My body is still but my mind is going a million miles an hour.

I go inward to be IN His presence
there I find love, peace,
grace & joy.
I move outward to BE his presence
there I reflect His love, peace,
grace & joy.

Things that have encouraged me

2010-10-25T06:39:00.000-05:00

Unsolicited comments that have recently encouraged me
- You are the best boss I have ever had. Wish I lived closer to you so I could volunteer in your ministry (previous employee)
- You are one of the most creative people I have ever worked with. You always looked ahead for the next opportunity and incorporated it. (previous boss)
- You are creative, hopeful, determined (current employee)
- You taught and modeled to us what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Because of your leadership our staff has deepen our relationships with God and one another. (previous employee)
- Slaughter’s teaching from Matthew 10 (previous "big" boss and pastor)

Being Contemplative

2010-10-24T07:06:00.000-05:00

Recently a comment was made that my tendencies to be contemplative was misinterpreted. My longing for time alone, my desires to go on long walks in the woods was perceived as a lack of personal motivation or even drive. Initially that comment hurt, but I realized it was only an observation from a person who doesn’t really know me or understand what a contemplative life is about.

I am probably one of the most “discontent” people around. I always want MORE. More in my relationships, more things fixed in my house, more plants for my garden; more volunteers working and leading in the kids ministry; more education; more opportunities for our kids; more dinners with friends; more time in the woods; more time with my husband; more love, more patience; more wine, more sex, more laughter! I want MORE.

Being contemplative (for me) is about prayerfully entering into silence and solitude – the desert, the woods. In this sacred space, the goal is not to hide from others, devoid of pain, or to hold myself apart from and above the community in which I live. It is to receive the grace to learn to face MYSELF directly so I can learn to live an ordinary life with a sense of awe and wonder; to live generously with my family, friends and community.

Mother Teresa was contemplative SO THAT she could pour herself out to others. I’m certainly no Mother Teresa, but I find comfort knowing that a lot of religious people didn’t get or approve of her.

Everyone benefits from positive affirmation

2010-10-23T05:37:00.001-05:00

The other day at the park there was a family kicking the soccer ball around nearby where I sat. Their little son, I guessed to be 3 years old, came up and hit his older sister on her back. The girl began to cry and told her dad what happened. The dad responded to the little boy with, “I told you to keep your f-ing hands off of her.”

I was so shocked by the harshness in this man’s voice, and even though his words were not directed at me, I was hurt because I witnessed the incident. Days later I still carry with me the negativity and weight of those few violent moments. Each time I recall the incident I grieve, but I also pause to pray.

Studies show that when we complement another person, not only does that increase their serotonin level (a well-known contributor to feelings of well being) it increased the person’s serotonin level who gave the complement. The study then shows that those who are present and hear this exchange of complements ALSO have an increase of serotonin.

Everyone benefits when we are kind to one another.

Fear or Faith?

2010-10-13T05:00:00.000-05:00

Darkness, thunder storms, tornados, spiders, cancer, death, bears, skeletons, killer clowns, stray dogs, boats, heights, and carnivorous animals . . . . these are just a few things that scare our kids.

On Halloween, wwKids’ Experience Studios will have their own mini-series on FEAR! The kids will rotate through each decked-out studio, learning how they can trust God even when they are afraid.

So invite your friends and family. Wear your Halloween costume and join us Sunday, October 31 for a life-changing teaching on Faith VS Fear.

'You are mine.' I have chosen you.
10 So do not be afraid. I am with you.
Do not be terrified. I am your God.
I will make you strong and help you.
My powerful right hand will take good care of you.
I always do what is right. Isaiah 41.9b-10

Common Threads in Spiritual Growth

2010-09-26T06:21:00.002-05:00

Last Sunday 9 people got baptized at Westwinds Church -- 4 of them were kids.

all of the kids had either their mom or dad baptized them
all of the kids said that they love Jesus and want to follow him
all of the kids have been or are currently involved in wwKids (or student journey)

What powerful stories these kids possess. That Jesus loves them, that Jesus makes a difference in their life, that Jesus has healed their family and restored wholeness. The kids stories are different but have two common threads. Both parents and community (the church) are actively involved in guiding, nurturing and demonstrating to the kids what it looks like to follow Jesus.

Parents, you MATTER in your kids’ lives. They look to you for guidance and direction when it comes to spiritual matters. And wwKids leaders, we MATTER in our kids’ lives. We may not always see direct results, but what we do MATTERS in helping shape and guide our kids.

Never, never give up on our kids!

Meaningful routines

2010-09-25T06:48:00.002-05:00

The “fall switch” was turned on and school has started, the leaves have begun to change, the weather has turned cooler (most days). I finished physical therapy and will continue it on my own. September has come and is almost gone. In the midst of this transitional month I too have begun to re-integrate some meaningful routines into my life.

I am getting a solid, restful 6-7 hours of sleep a night.
I am getting up early and enjoying the morning quietness and solitude.
I am taking brief walks with my dog.
I am doing silly things like sitting outside in the middle of the nite, listening for owls, sensing God’s presence.
I am baking and cooking more.

These activities are not just ordinary things that I fill my day with, they are life-giving, soul-sustaining moments that drew me closer to God my Father. As I draw closer to God I find that I am more generous, more gentle, more kind, and more loving towards others.

Celebrating Tong Min Min's Bday

2010-09-20T04:16:00.006-05:00

We celebrate the birth of our second child, Tong Min Min, aka Allison Min-Joy Tate on September 20.

Records indicate that a "baby girl with black skin was found in a box with a blanket and dry milk" was found on September 29. She was taken to an orphanage in Tongling. She lived there until she was adopted on May 23, 2005. (Pictures: Min Min's playground at the orphanage; Chicks in China at the White Swan hotel, Deb Morse (my sister), me and Allie, Chelsea Mero (my brother's daughter))

Today Allie turns 7 years old and is a first grader. She has the sweetest smile, a giving heart and she is "stinking stubborn" (I think my dad used to describe me that way as well). She loves to laugh and tease people. She adores being tickled. You can tickle her for a hour and she still asks for more. Allie doesn't walk much these days, rather she moves from place to place doing cartwheels. Allie loves to sing and watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. Her favorite line is "and I believe that Ang can save the world!"

I am always humbled when Allie thanks God for her family. It's like she innately knows that having a family is not just a given, but truly a gift. She always lists us, mom, dad, Jeff and Jake and Joey (the dog and cat).

One day after listing us all, she said to me that she has a China momma. I affirmed that she was right. Then she asked, "Do I have a China daddy?" to which I also replied "yes." She was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Do I have a China brother?" I paused for a moment and said, "I don't know, you might." Then silliness set in and questions and list continued, "Do I have a China doggy? a China kitty?"

Allie's generous and thankful heart is gift our family. I can't imagine a day without one of her hugs or smiles.

The Voice of My Beloved - III

2010-09-19T07:09:00.003-05:00

As my relationship with my Beloved has grown, His voice becomes clearer. What began as a personal desire to know the voice of my Beloved has expanded to guiding and directing my kids in discerning God's voice. One thing we do is play the "quiet game" in which I encourage the kids to be still, close their eyes and listen; simple become aware of their surrounding.

On one occasion after a few minutes of quietness, I asked Jeff what he heard. He replied a motor boat and birds. Then I asked him, "If you did not have ears, could you still hear God?" Jeff paused and thought for a moment and then replied, "Yes, because I hear Him in my heart."

Louella passed away years ago, but there are very few days that I don't think of her and thank God for what she taught me.

The Voice of my Beloved - II

2010-09-10T19:51:00.001-05:00

My encounter with Louella changed my life forever. Her simple but profound words set me on a quest to know and recognize the voice of my Beloved.

Fast forward 12 years. I'm married now, have a 5-year-old son and have been regularly practicing centering prayer and slowing learning to recognize my Beloved's voice. Ironically the earlier I got up in the morning, the earlier my son got out of bed. To be honest I was a bit irritated and frustrated that my son frequently interrupted my "God time."

One summer morning as I sat still, I heard my son's footsteps. At once I felt frustration swelling up within me but almost immediately I heard a voice say, "Invite Jeff to join you." As the footsteps approached my frustration melted away and when Jeff appeared around the corner I invited him to cuddle on my lap. As we sat quietly together a peace washed over me and the Spirit showed me that these quiet moments with my son were holy. God my Father was smiling at this mother and child, madonna iamge. At that moment, my "God time" paradigm was shattered and my understanding of what was holy deepened.

The Voice of my Beloved

2010-09-07T18:26:00.002-05:00

It's been about 15 years since, my friend and film maker, Len and I interviewed Louella Thompson. She was this beautiful, middle-age African American woman who had opened a soupl kitchen out of her home. It was named, "Feed the Hungry." When I asked Louelle how her ministry came about, she simply said, "One day I heard God say, open your house, feed whoever comes in. Don't ask questions, just feed them."

I was younger then, just out of seminary- what I'm saying is I was arrogant and naive! - so I asked her, "How did you know it was God who said this to you?"

This gracious, Godly woman looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes. Then she turned to my friend and asked, "Len, are you married?" to which he replied "yes". She then asked, "When your wife calls you on the phone, do you ask 'who is this?'" "Of course not," Len replied, "I recognize her voice." Louella looked back towards me and said, "I know the voice of my Beloved."

Things I've missed

2010-09-04T05:22:00.002-05:00

This summer has been odd. It seems like plans and schedules were tossed out as my family all focused on my hip replacement surgery and my recovery. I am two months post op and feel great. As I have slowly gotten back into the flow of normal family life, work and routine, I realize all that I have missed.
- the early quiet mornings alone
- seeing the sun rise
- the morning sounds as a new day appears in the eastern sky
- cooking breakfast for the family
- gardening
- baking bread
- shooting photos
- composting
- walking back to the pond with the dog

In the absence of all the things that naturely feed my soul, I've noticed a certain dissatification in my soul, a discontent or restlessness. Sometimes these feelings can be a sign of positive movement, pulling me towards God. But I don't sense that.

Don't get me wrong. I have certainly felt God's presence during these past months. My family and I have been loved and cared for in so many ways. My surgery and healing time has been miraculous. Seriously I feel great, I just need to continue to strength my muscles.

I'm looking forward to this new season. Getting back into a routine with the kids and back into the daily activities that nourish my soul and fellowship with My Father, God; his son Jesus and the Spirit.

Mother Teresa's Bday

2010-08-26T18:33:00.003-05:00

Today is Mother Teresa's bday. She would have been a 100 years old.

I became acquainted with Mother Teresa during my spiritual direction course work. I had to choose a "saint," someone whom I would walk with and learn from. I was drawn to Mother Teresa because she was a woman,and I also loved her hands - gentle, healing, full of life experiences. Not a particualy "spiritual" way to choose a saint,but the Spirit did not guide me wrong. It was no accident that Mother Teresa was my saint.

There are days in ministry that I feel like I make little progress.
Haven't we dealt with this issue;
haven't we had this conversation;
we have no money again;
who else "needs/wants" me today; etc?

Then I think of Mother Teresa. Everyday she began sitting in silence in the presence of Jesus, she took communion and the essence of her beloved Jesus filled her. THEN everyday she walked into the streets of Calcutta, into a cultural system that saw little change and she LOVED and cared for whomever she came in contact with.

Mother Teresa encourage me (and others) to believe the best of those we encounter. To believe that they are doing the best that they can, with what they have, at this particular moment.

I know that ministry goals,plans and measureable objectives are important, but ultimately it is about loving others, inviting, encouraging and guiding others to become WHOLE human beings created in the image of God.

Thank you Mother for the life you lived. Thank you for showing me how to follow more closely after our Beloved Jesus.

Seasons

2010-08-18T05:45:00.003-05:00

I love Michigan! I was born, raised and lived in Michigan until I moved to Kentucky in 1992. When I moved back to Michigan in 2006 I truly felt like I had come home. I love the Michigan seasons. For me the seasons are a tangible guide that impacts the flow and rhythm of my life. Perhaps because I am a gardener!

These past months have been a difficult season - lossing my dad, health issues and surgery. My good friend and spiritual director encouraged me to just "be" and stay in the river of grace. To place no demands on myself, to just let the gentle waters of grace soothe and heal. I have done no work, no studying, no blogging for the last 7 weeks or so. While it has felt odd it has also been good.

It is humbling but good to be on the receiving end of things. To let others do for me and my family. To let others provide meals, clean my house or drive me around. I have felt God's love and grace each time I have received these gifts.

As the seasons of Michigan subtly shift towards an Indian Summer so is my season of life changing. I am back at work. Each day I feel better and stronger. Today for the first time I got up early and sat in my favorite chair and listened to the rain hit the leaves. I have missed my early morning times, listening and watching a new day dawn. It felt good this morning. I sensed God's presence in the early morning quietness.

It is well with my soul.

Good Questions lead to Good Faith

2010-06-30T11:55:00.001-05:00

Throughout the gospels Jesus was reportedly asked about 183 direct questions; however he only directly answered 3 of those questions.

This is quite amazing to me since I thought my most of my faith was based on having the “right” information and “right” answers! Isn’t that why I went to seminary? To learn the “right” answer and pass that “right” answer onto everyone who will listen – not excluding my husband, my kids, my siblings, my co-workers, etc. And if they don’t listen, I’m to convince that they should listen because I know the “right” answer!

Jesus’ way is very different than how I would do it. Can you imagine? Typically when Jesus was asked a question he responded in one of three ways.
1. Jesus was silent. Before Pilate (John 19.9) he remained silent.
2. Jesus asks another question, as with the coin of Caesar (Matthew 22.19)
3. Jesus gives an illustration as with the Good Shepherd (Luke 10:30)

I wonder how I as both a parent and a kids' leader, can more fully integrate
Silence, Questions & Stories into my kids' lives.

2010-06-02T13:16:00.001-05:00

I am so thankful for my life.
For the real treasures of life - husband, kids, dog,
friendships, ministry, gardens & dirt.
Good books, wine and food.
laughter, warm evenings & stars

I am so blessed to be a part of the WW ministry team.

What brought about this moment of gratitude?

Even though there are changes and challenges (my U2 concert was canceled!) I am so blessed.

My mom is doing good. I’m healthy. My kids are healthy.

Oh yea, I can’t walk can I? But other than that I’m incredibly healthy!

Yea, I had to go to timeout twice yesterday because I wasn’t “playing” well with Allie, but today is a new day for both of us!

All is well. . .
I hope and pray that you are aware of God’s presence in your everyday life

2010-05-22T04:27:00.000-05:00

G

On May 7, 2010 I received my Doctorate of Ministry diploma through the Graduate Theological Foundation, in South Bend, Indiana.
The degree is in Spiritual Direction and was earned through course work from the Marywood Dominican Center in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

An awesome day of celebrating with my family and friends.

Mother's Day - a poem

2010-05-21T04:23:00.001-05:00

M = makes the best food
O = ongoing fun
T = the worlds #1 mom
H = has a very funny walk
E = eats real healthy food
R = respects nature

Jeff’s gift to me on Mother’s Day.

I was both humbled and affirmed at how well my son knows me. He is a great kid with a big heart.

Mother's Day

2010-05-20T04:21:00.000-05:00

Mother’s day was special, full of hand written notes from the kids. In a quiet moment, I asked my daughter if she ever thought about her China momma.
She commented that she didn’t know what her China mom looked like.
Yes, you are right. We don’t know what she looked like, I replied.
She asked, do I have a China daddy? Yes, I replied.
Do I have a China brother? We don’t know if you had a China brother.
Why didn’t my China mom keep me?

With my heart breaking, I replied with the best answer I have. “I don’t know for sure why she didn’t keep you. Perhaps she did have any way to care for you, no food or money. But she got you to a safe place, an orphanage, where the nannies took care of you. . . That’s where I met you.”

“What’s an orphanage?” she asked. It’s a safe place where kids live when their mom or dad can’t take care of them.
“Did you pick me out?” she asked. No, I replied. We met with a lady who learned about our family and she “painted” a picture of what our family was like and the Chinese people thought you would fit best into our family. . . I think you fit perfectly into our family

Directed Silent Retreat - my question

2010-05-19T04:16:00.002-05:00

Mary Magdalene
Early in the morning
while it was still dark
Mary went to the tomb.

Mary stayed
cried
looked in the tomb

Mary saw Jesus
but did not realize it was Him
Until He said her name - Mary

Mary believed. (john 10.11)

Mary was exhausted, she was tired and she was hurting deeply. She had just lost her best friend, Jesus. When most of the others left, Mary stayed at the cross, with Jesus’ mother and aunt. She stayed and witnessed the entire crucifixion.

I can’t imagine the depth of pain that Mary felt when she went to the tomb early that morning. I suspect that she was numb and couldn’t even think straight. When you are hurting as deeply as Mary was, your whole body aches. Every movement is painful. So it is easy to see imagine Mary curled up, weeping. Her eyes are swollen, her head is hurting and her nose is stuffed up. If you have ever hurt this deeply, you can more easily understand how Mary may not have recognized Jesus.

Often I am troubled when I hear someone said that they can’t recognize God. I believe that verse that says, “If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.” Perhaps I put up barriers that prevent me from seeing God – busyness, ego, knowledge, pain.

What, if any barriers do you have that prevent you from recognizing Jesus?

Directed Silent Retreat - my grace

2010-05-15T04:41:00.000-05:00

Mary Magdalene has been a comforting companion to me at this part of my journey. I can relate to her. As I sit with Mary, I feel her loss and pain and share mine as well.During my silent retreat, like Mary, I stayed at the tomb and waited.

Literally I was in the cemetery garden where the dear, faithful, loving nuns were laid to rest. I felt peace and comfort as I sat among the “cloud of witnesses.” It was a sacred and holy place.

While waiting in the garden, Jesus called me. He didn’t call me Lori or even Lori Ann, but rather “my beloved child, my beloved daughter . . . I will carry and hold you!”

I saw the image of a father holding, cradling a tiny newborn baby. That baby was me, an adult me. The Father looked at me with love and joy. He was content to simply hold his beloved child close to his heart.
The Father said, I will feed you . . . concern about my diet
I will carry you . . . concern about my hip
I will provide you a place to stay . . . concern about housing
I will take care of your finances, marriage, children

NOTE: people recognize and hear God in different ways. I have found being silent has opened a segue for the Spirit to speak to me. I share my personal experiences as an invitation for others to seek an intimate, loving relationship with God the Father and Jesus Christ his Son.

Directed Silent Retreat - my prayer

2010-05-14T12:23:00.000-05:00

My soul thirsts for you
My body longs for you
I drink in your strength

In your generous love I am really living at last.

You hold me steady as a post. (psalm 69)

You lead me beside quiet waters
You restore my soul and let me catch my breath.

I am not afraid when you walk at my side. (psalm 23)

Everyone who runs to You. . . makes IT! (psalm 18.30)

My strength will come from settling down
in complete dependence on You. (isaiah 30.16)

God's not finished.
He's waiting around to be gracious to me.
He's gathering strength to show mercy to me
God takes the time to do everything right -- EVERYTHING

Those who wait around for Him
are the lucky ones! (isaiah 30.18)

Directed Silent Retreat

2010-05-12T04:52:00.000-05:00

Psalm 63
O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you
I can't get enough of you

My soul thirst for you
my body longs for you in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

So here I am in the place of worship -
the woods, my chair

EYES open
drinking in your strength and glory.

In your generous love I am really living at last.

I bless you every t ime I take a breath

...if I am sleepless at midnight or 2 or 3 in the morning,
I spend those hours in grateful reflection.

Directed Silent Retreat - my desire

2010-05-11T04:56:00.002-05:00

From the gospel of Mark, chapter 10:46-52. Jesus asks Bartimaeus, "what do you want me to do for you?"

Likewise, Jesus asks me, "Lori, what do you want me to do for you? What is your desire for this silent retreat?"

My reply, "I want you to walk with me through this painful transitional time - physically, emotionally. That is the grace I seek."

Directed Silent Retreat

2010-05-11T04:49:00.001-05:00

I took my annual silent retreat in mid-April with four companions from the Soul Dig community. It was the first silent retreat for each of my four companions. A directed silent retreat just means that a spiritual director meets with you throughout the four days. Working through the Spirit, she offers scripture, insight, and questions to assist you on your journey.

This was the nosiest silent retreat I have been on! On the grounds of Victory Noll, about 100 retired sisters lived there, along with the active nuns. We ate our meals with them, although we sat apart. I laughed as I limped along side the elderly nuns as we went through the food line. Many were concerned that I – such a young woman – was limping.

The sisters’ prayers covered the entire weekend experience. The nuns’ physical presence spoke loud to me. I truly felt like I was walking on sacred ground.

The following posting are some special scripture, thoughts and photos from my silent retreat.

Free of Charge

2010-05-04T20:11:00.000-05:00

" All things are from God and through God,
and yet I want to be independent of God,
standing on my own two feet,
claiming God's gifts as my own achievement."

When I assert my independence, when I ascribe to myself what comes from God, I wrong God - at least as much as I would wrong an author whose ideas I would peddle as my own. That's our main sin against God the giver. - Miroslav Volf

I am moving into a season of my journey that requires a deeper surrender.

Altar in the World

2010-05-02T19:56:00.002-05:00

Prayer, is waking up to the presence of God no matter where I am or what I am doing.- Brother David (178)

I am in prayer when I stand in wonder at the red tail hawk flying over head.
I am in prayer when I prepare a meal to share with my brother & wife and kids.
I am in prayer when I dig in the earth preparing to plant.

Waiting is a kind of prayer. (183)

"While I pray daily to be delivered from the most awful things that can happen to human beings - land mines, wasting illness, killing poverty, civil war - I give thanks for even the semi-terrible things that have happened to me, since they have shown me what is really real. They have made me tell the truth. They have quashed all my illusions of control, leaving me with no alternative but to receive my life as an unmitigated gift.

In the same way that I am willing to thank my husband for a gift even before I have opened it - because I know him, because I trust his love of me, because I have faith we will survive even if he has given me a pneumatic nail gun for my birthday - I am willing to thank God for my life even before I know how it turns out.

This is brave talk, I know, while I can still pay the bills, walk without assistance, and talk someone into going to the movies with me. My hope is that if I can practice saying thank you now, when I still approve of most of what is happening to me, then perhaps that practice will have become habit by the time I do not like muck of anything that is happening to me. The plan is to replace approval with gratitude. The plan is to take what is as God's ongoing answer to me." (184)

Altar in the World

2010-04-09T09:15:00.002-05:00

I have been reading an awesome book called “An Altar in the World” by Barbara Brown Taylor. My friend, Dave gave it to me. On every page there are sentences that I have either spoken, thought or written myself. On every page there are thoughts that draw me closer to the heart of God.

The book speaks of a spirituality – Christ-centered – that is seamless with the physical world. For so long I separated spiritual from physical. It was my own holy dualism because I was so afraid that the physical would contaminate the spiritual.

Taylor blesses being human. Well Jesus did it first, but I don’t think we believed him! At a theological level yes we believe Jesus was both fully human and divine, but not at a practical level. To fully embrace Jesus’ humanity would mean that I would have to fully embrace my own humanity - my femaleness, my sexuality, my gifts, my fears, my desires, my ego, my interdependence on others.

The physical DOES NOT contaminate the spiritual, the physical enhances the spiritual. Being human, being physical is the incarnation of the spiritual.
Baking bread,
cooking dinner,
drinking wine,
holding a tried daughter,
serving others,
crying tears of frustration,
walking barefoot in the grass,
working in the garden,
soaking in the bathtub,
loving others . . .

These are the things that make me more like Jesus, not less.

I am tired

2010-04-06T07:00:00.002-05:00

I am naturally an introvert. I process a lot in my head, I think through things and even yes perhaps over analyze things, but I’ve experience Spirit’s influence during those introspective times.

I am thankful that God has given me the gift of having a spiritual director. As an introvert I’ve been surprised that while speaking with my spiritual director, I have often made connections or discovered a truth that I had not on my own.

Recently I identified that hardest thing about hurting is not the pain, but the fatigue. I am always tired. I don’t sleep well and when I do it’s not a deep restorative sleep. Personally I know that when I am tired I am less likely to engage God, because shadowing God takes a lot of creativity and energy.

My spiritual director suggested that perhaps some of my tiredness is coming from grieving the loss of my dad. Perhaps. I haven’t explored my current circumstances from that perspective.

How do I heal when my primary role is to minister to others?

You listen to yourself. You trust yourself and Spirit to direct you. You take the time to heal so that you can be available to others. It’s not like you take a week off and hope things get better or even a month, your healing will take place within the context of your daily life. You will be mom, fix meals and bake while working, studying, exercising, and ministering to others AND in the midst of those ordinary life activities you will listen to Spirit as she guides you to rest when you need to, to work from home when you need to, to trust your team, and trust in the daily graces of God.

Jesus, with all his suffering and pain, has been a particularly dear companion to me this Lenten season.

Re-inventing my job

2010-03-28T09:41:00.001-05:00

Re-inventing of my job is a difficult but good process now. The "fun" of the new learning curve is over . . . now I am faced with the daily living stuff that makes me really evaluate the stuff of importance and lasting impacts. The major of the world doesn't get to change jobs/locations/projects when the fun stuff becomes common.

I think that's why Judaism and some historic Christianity honored cyclical rituals and stories, to keep breathing spiritual life in to daily life. God is here and now, if and when I have eyes to see and ears to hear.

I am not very good at some rhythms or rituals but I am learning.

Accept and receive

2010-03-25T09:46:00.000-05:00

As I prepare my time with my Soul Dig companions I am comforted and loved to see how much Jesus loves us, by giving us the Holy Spirit. For years I felt like I knew Jesus and I knew God but the Holy Spirit was a mystery to me. I always thought my relationship with God was about what I did; rather it seems to be that it is more about what He does. I am to receive, accept, not run.

For a culture that is filled with “takers” and consumerism, it is amazing that we have such a difficult time receiving the awesome gifts of the Father.

I Hurt

2010-03-23T04:25:00.000-05:00

I am thankful that God has given me the gift of having a spiritual director. Sherri and I have been together for 3.5 years. God’s Spirit speaks in and through Sherri to me, giving me perspective, teaching me, loving me and guiding me.

The other day, Sherri said the words I wasn’t able to say alone. My journey is painful at this time. Obviously I am aware that I am hurting, but I’ve resisted saying the words aloud.

I hurt. My body is hurting, my hip, my leg, my back, my knee. Sometimes it is an ache, sometimes it is pain. I hurt when I stand, when I sit, when I walk, when I lie down. I hurt. I don’t sleep well because I hurt. My stomach is hurting because of all the Aleve I’ve been popping to fix the body hurts! My heart is hurting with the loss of my dad.

There have been some days that I just want to stay in bed and I sleep. I have given myself grace and have had numerous lazy days and this winter I’ve been knitting a lot. But I also know and believe that my healing – physically, emotionally and spiritually - will primarily take place in the context of my daily life over many, many days. Days that will be filled with ordinary activities of making meals, baking bread, working, doing homework with the kids, watching NCIS, and serving others, and soon gardening!

The other day Len Sweet described three different landscapes.
1. The desert is a place to hang low and do a lot of thinking and reflecting
2. The mountains are a place to go to gain a big picture perspective on life
3. The sea is a place to go for healing and refreshing

Water is and will play a major part of my journey and healing.

Jesus has so much to teach me

2010-03-17T03:37:00.002-05:00

Mark 1.29-40 is a favorite scripture passage for me. The scripture says that the whole town came to Jesus after sunset and he spent a long evening healing many people. Then early the next morning while it was still dark out, Jesus went out to a quiet place to pray.

I wonder what Jesus said to his Father that morning. Did he say that he was tired? That it was hard having ALL those people want his attention and healing? Did he just “sit” with his Father in the quietness?

I love that after a very intense time of ministry Jesus knew himself well enough to find some alone time.

Some alone time is “check out” time. To become a couch potato or a mindless sponge, lounge in my pj's all day and do nothing productive. Sometimes I need time like that. But I have found another type of “check out” time that is restorative. It is time alone in the presence of perfect love and peace. I can imagine myself being held and embraced in the arms of my Abba, Father. I can imagine the Father looking tenderly at me, his daughter and enjoying those quiet moments.

Hope

2010-03-16T05:08:00.000-05:00

With God as my shepherd, I lack for nothing.
All that I need will be taken care.
HOPE FAITH TRUST

I’m tired and I hurt,
but I have hope in a bright tomorrow.
Spring is in the air, the magnolia tree blooms are getting greener.
Spring is coming, the days are getting longer.

Winter has been long and dark, it took my friend and my father
but Spring brings a new season.
A season of warmth and growth,
A season of new life.

Everything has the potential to draw me closer to God my Father.
Do not try to escape or remove the very things
that God uses to shape me into
who he wants me to become.

It is all good.

I believe but help my unbelief

Jesus grew in wisdom, knowledge & intimacy

2010-03-04T04:35:00.002-06:00

I believe Jesus’ worked hard to develop a relationship with his father, God creator of the universe. I believe Jesus’ relationship with his Father was priority and Jesus invested time learning his father’s heart, so that he could share that with others. Jesus sought his father’s counsel, Jesus prayed to the Father for guidance, Jesus grew in his relationship with his Father, just like we grow in our relationships with others and God the Father. The relationship was there for Jesus to choose, to nurture, and to make a priority or NOT.

Jesus sought out the Father for comfort, relationship and guidance. (Mark 2.18)

Jesus could fulfill the will of the Father, because he had spent years growing in intimacy with the Father. Doing what the Father asked of him was not a walk in the park. Following the Father’s will required sacrifice, submission, and trust/faith. It required Jesus to die to himself, his own desires and will, his ego and completely trust His Father. The death was both figuratively and literal.

Jesus’ choice to completely submit to the Father did not happen one time at his trail, cruxification and death. Jesus had daily opportunities to trust and choose the Father’s way over his own way. Jesus grew and learned to trust His Father. Jesus knew the love of the Father so completely that he was willing to let of his ego and say Yes to the Father.

Getting a glimpse of Jesus' own spiritual formation has helped my own journey with the Father.

Connection Studio at Westwinds

2010-02-25T13:19:00.002-06:00

A teacher wrote: Today was a great day and the kids did really well with response time. As we were wondering today a child, who used to have major behavior issues, asked, "So these stories are, like, real? They really happened?" We talked about the Bible and told them all the stories in the Bible are real, that they really happened. The little kid said, "Cool!" It was really cool!

Another parent shared that she overheard her daughter playing at home, "May God be with you because He loves you so so so much."

Another parent observed their daughter painting at home. When she was done with the painting she said, "Now we need to think about God and look at it." She wanted to bring the painting to church and "think about it."

A teacher's comment: We did the church calendar and when we got to Easter one of the kids said, "Jesus died and if we believe in Him we won't die in a couple of days."

Living Generously

2010-02-21T07:00:00.002-06:00

I wonder what will come of these conversations about faith and money with my kids. Like most of life,lessons are not learned the first time they are “introduced.” Our kids did not speak back to us the first time we spoke to them, yet we continued to talk to them and at the right time, they began to babble back something that appeared to be the beginning of language.

So I take heart and believe that the more conversations, the more experiences of giving, the more I demonstrate and live out what it means to have a generous heart, the more likely my kids will also follow down a similar path.

That's what my parents did. They lived, loved and gave generously.

II Corinthians 9.11 "You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion."

Teach me to pray

2010-02-10T14:10:00.001-06:00

Luke 11.1 One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples spoke to him. "Lord," he said, "teach us to pray. . ."

I like how one of the disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray. While it is not explicit in the scripture I can imagine that the disciples must have seen Jesus on numerous occasions go off to a certain place and pray. I wonder if the disciples sensed a difference in Jesus after he returned from praying, perhaps a sense of peace or focus. I wonder if this is why the disciple asked Jesus to teach them to pray. Whatever the reason I love the disciple’s humbleness, his desire to be taught and lead, he desire to learn the ways Jesus was practicing.

Teach me to pray, Jesus.

March 27, 2010 at Westwinds Church we will be hosting a prayer seminar.

Learning to live generously

2010-02-09T05:07:00.001-06:00

At Christmas time I began to use the 3 jars setup with the kids. The 3 jars are labeled church, savings, and spending. I told the kids that 10 percent needs to go into the church jar; 10 percent needs to go into the savings jar; and the remaining money they can decide where to put it. It’s been interesting to see the kids add extra money into each of the church and savings jars. I’m not sure that they quite get the concept that they cannot spend the money but it’s all a process.

Today when they received their “blessing/allowance” we shared with the kids that their school, Paragon Academy, is collecting money to support relief work in Haiti. For a $1 the kids can purchase a heart that provides support for Haiti. Unprompted both kids said that they wanted to use their money to purchase a heart.

Later that evening I made a bet with my son about the Pro Bowl score. (I should NEVER bet against Jeff, he’s sharp and I always loss!) Naturally I lost the bet, but then he just informed me that the dollar I now owed him would go towards buying another heart for Haiti.

Not every circumstance has this kind of ending, but when it does my mom’s heart is full!

Learning to live generously

2010-02-05T08:23:00.002-06:00

Both kids have been buying their school lunches and while that has been convenient it’s not the most cost effective way to eat lunches. During Christmas break the kids and I talked about how much it cost to buy lunches every day. Jeff did the math - $2.35, 20 days, multiplied by 2 kids. We decided to only buy 20 lunches a month between the 2 kids, the other 20 lunches would be packed. Jeff went through the January menu with Allie and together they decided which lunches they were buy and pack. Then Jeff made up a chart for me, so I could easily see what days and which kid I needed to pack lunches.

We’re all feeling good about this decision. The kids like carrying their lunches, I like knowing what they are eating and we’re happy that we’re saving money.

"You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion." 2 Corinthians 9.11a

Your Will Be Done

2010-02-04T10:00:00.001-06:00

While planning, dreaming, etc. are very important in our roles as leaders, we still must hold all these things loosely and be willing to relinquish our agenda, our TO DO list to care for the needs of those who cross our paths.

The Spirit is willing;
the ego is willful.
One releases our agenda and
one demands our own way.

Let me always be willing to walk your way, rather than mine. Amen

Living Generously

2010-01-31T20:02:00.002-06:00

The other day I was reminding Jeff how we all give money to the church at the end of the year and Westwinds met its goal. I reminded him that I had given my Christmas money to help the church. He knew that was hard for me since I have a dream of taking my family to China to visit Allie’s homeland and I’ve been slowly saving money for our trip – which will probably in 2020!

I shared with Jeff that the other day, I had unexpectedly received a “gift” for the same amount I had given to help the church. Jeff looked at me and said, “You were blessed, Mom.”

Yep at many levels I was blessed but the best blessing was Jeff’s comment. He’s beginning to see and experience how the economy of God works.

Learning to live generously

2010-01-28T14:07:00.000-06:00

At the end of 2009 Westwinds Church still needed $4,000 to finish the year in the black.

Obviously there was nothing that my kids “needed” nor “wanted” since we had just had 3 family Christmas celebrations. So I mentioned the church’s need to the kids and then suggested that they give all of their allowance for that week to help the church.

I reminded them of the reason they received an allowance. The idea that Mom and Dad are blessed and we want to bless them so that they can also learn to bless other. I was pleasantly surprised when they both agreed.

We took their money and added what my husband and I were giving and drove over to the church. Jeff addressed the envelope and then figured out what percentage we were giving towards the total amount. It is a good morning.

Learning to live generously

2010-01-26T04:39:00.000-06:00

After 3 years of commuting to Toledo, Ohio for work, my husband amazingly found a new job in Jackson, Michigan (the end of September). Note that Jackson, Michigan has the worst of the worst economies in the country. No kidding. Michigan has the highest unemployment rate and Jackson has the highest in Michigan. It was a totally God-thing that my husband “found” this position that was advertised only once in a small local paper. God has been so good to us.
In the midst of this blessing, we have also experienced a 33 percent cut in our household income. The trade off however is a consistent paycheck, not sporadic commission checks, and the best trade off is we eat dinner together as a family every night. Most nights when my daughter prays at dinner time, she thanks God that “Daddy got new work and can eat dinner with us.”
This new job has brought about numerous changes such as parenting jointly, our daily schedule and our finances

Living Generously - a parents example

2010-01-21T06:04:00.004-06:00

My parents are givers. From my earliest memories my parents gave to others. I remember each of us kids getting an offering envelope with money to give to church. I remember my mom saying that the first check she wrote each week went to the church.

Today at 83 years old my parents still give 10 percent to the church and more to missionaries they support. They will shop at Goodwill and do without (sometimes even their costly medicine – that’s dangerous) so that they can give to others. The actual dollar amount my parents give off their merger income is pretty insignificant in the big picture of their church. But my parents have always given, and they have given of themselves by serving and helping others. They have opened their home to let people live with them, they visited the sick and shut-ins, they befriended a young boy who committed murder and visited him in jail for 43 years until he was released last May.

My mom and dad both have generous hearts. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion. 2 Cor. 9.11a This verse summarizes my parents life.

Though I wrote this entry several weeks ago, I'm posting it today as a tribute to both of parents, but especially my dad, who passed away January 19, and “journeyed further inward into the loving arms and presence of God our Father.”

Living Generously

2010-01-18T04:47:00.002-06:00

Early in the Story of God, a man named Abram is called by God. Genesis 12.1-3 says ¹ The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. ² I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. ³ I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you. Abram (later renamed Abraham) is given much but with the blessing comes a tremendous responsibility, to bless those around him.

This fall I began to give my kids a set amount of money each week. While this may sound like an allowance and technically may be, I have approached it from the Abraham perspective. I told the kids that God has blessed us, Mom and Dad, with good jobs and we want to share that blessing with them.

As part of the Tate family I want them to personally experience the blessings Mom and Dad have received. While I know the kids benefit from our blessings through having a home, food, clothes, etc. I want them to have a portion of the blessing that they have a say about.

Each week I remind the kids why I am giving them money, because God has blessed us, and we want to bless and share with them. Each week I encourage them to think about how they can personally bless someone else. With all that they have received, how will they give to someone else?

I will not lie, as of today when I am writing this, my kids haven’t given their money away to “bless” someone else. They are saving it, which is not bad either. I am laying the foundation to cultivate a generous heart. It is not a one-time teaching, it takes time and effort. There are teachable moments throughout the process.

I want to teach my kids to be generous. My kids as well as I need to cultivate a generous heart and Abraham’s story does that for me. I am blessed so that I can bless others. That blessing is not just a financial, but it includes my possessions and time, opening my home to friends, serving and giving back to the community, etc.

St. Ignatius speaks of holding loosely to whatever comes my way. To not be tied down or possessive of whatever I have received. Mother Teresa says, “I take what He gives, and gives what He takes, with a smile.” Everything received is a gift.

On January 10 in the K6 Experience Studios the kids began to study Psalm 23, helping them grasp that with “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack for nothing, I have everything I need.” When I know and believe that all my needs are being met, I can begin to give and give generously to others because I know that all that I have is a gift from God.

Then on January 17 (yesterday) Dave started a new series called Heart of Gold: The Joy of Living Generously. It’s about helping us grasp what the Bible teaches about finances. Teaching atlases are available at Sound Words and you need to buy one! Seriously, each chapter in the teaching atlas includes a special section called “activities for you and your children.” If you have never bought a teaching atlas, this is the time to do so.(The book is also available on amazon.com, Dr. David McDonald)

Every loving, caring parent teaches their kids the basics competencies of life. Manners -please and thank you; brush their teeth; put things back where you found them; be a good friend, etc. We MUST teach be intentional about teaching our kids the basic spiritual competencies of life: Giving generously, serving, loving others, and looking out for those who need help.

The stars have aligned and the time is right! The K6 Studio and Dave’s teachings are a great segue to teach our kids to live generously.

NOTE: During the Heart of Gold series you can catch stories about families and money on either loritate.blogspot.com or westwindskids.blogspot.com. If you have stories to share please send them to my email.

Shadowing God

2010-01-13T07:48:00.002-06:00

Had lunch with a friend the other day and we had a great time catching up on family and work. Then we moved to our favorite topic – what God was doing in our lives. She shared that for Christmas she and her husband were buying one gift for the house that they both would enjoy. Then beyond that she and her husband had to independently “bless someone with a gift” then Christmas morning share that story.

My friend had someone in mind, but was concerned at how this man would receive a gift. I shared the following story of Mother Teresa.

One day Mother Teresa learned that there was a family with eight kids who had not eaten for days. Mother took rice over to the family. When she gave the lady the rice, the mother quietly took her gift of rice, divided it into two portions and excused herself. She went to her neighbor lady next door, who also had eight children who had not eaten for days. Mother Teresa was deeply moved by this lady’s awareness and compassion. One woman was Hindu and the other Muslim. The story goes that Mother Teresa did not immediately rush back with more rice, she waited so that the first lady would receive the full measure of joy that comes from giving to others.

I suggested to my friend that when she gave her gift to the man, that she encouraged him to use what he needed and then if there was extra he could bless someone else.

What could be better than being the person who gets to bless others!

I am blessed to be journeying with people who are shadowing God and help heal the world!

Learn to Notice God

2010-01-08T04:46:00.002-06:00

When I was a kid someone taught me where hawks hang out. He showed me that hawks have white bellies in comparison to turkey buzzards, whose bellies were dark. He also pointed out the difference between the birds’ wings. By simply pointing out a few distinct characteristics of a hawk, I’ve been able to identify hawks everywhere.

Along those same lines, someone else taught me to notice where God is active and moving. I have found that the Spirit leads me through various levels of self-awareness. After years of this happening, I identify 4 "steps" for lack of a better word. There's this pattern of observation, reflection, discovery and response and it kinda looks like this.

Observe: notice what you are doing, notice how you are feeling, notice what the Spirit may be telling you. Put into words what you are noticing. (For example: I’m crabby with my kids and husband)

Reflect/examine: what is going on? Why are you feeling this way? Feelings are not good or bad. They just are. Are you normally like this? Do you often feel this way? How might it be connected to another part of your life? Ask the Spirit to show you. (I feel a lot of pressure – work, school, parents. I am really tired. I’ve been crabby with my husband.)

Discover: Are there any connections? How does one part of your life impact another area. Ask the Spirit to guide you. (I’m really mad at my dad and his choices, but I’m taking it out on my husband and kids. I’ve never noticed that before.)

Respond: Do what you need to do. Ask the Spirit to guide your response to this new discovery. What is now required with this new information. Perhaps you share this self discovery with your husband, perhaps you may need to talk to with your dad.
As you begin to repeat this process and live in this type of rhythm, the next time you yell at your kids or husband, you may pause and ask yourself, “what’s going on? What’s the real problem.”

Trust that the Spirit will lead and guide you to the Truth and change you.

Thanks to my WW family

2009-12-22T04:45:00.002-06:00

I want to thank my WW family for the generous Christmas gift. I am so blessed to work at Westwinds and be part of an incredible team who are sold out to shadowing God. I am honored to be serving along each of you. I have personally deepen my relationship with God as we have served together in wwKids ministry.

Thanks again - Love, Lori

A prayer for my friends

2009-12-21T04:24:00.003-06:00

My friend, do not forget to care for yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
When you accept the gentleness and love of Jesus, you will become that for others.
Make time for yourself. Take a walk, read a book, take a bubble bath.
Care for your body. Exercise, eat healthy, get plenty of rest.
When you take time of yourself, amazingly you have more to give to others.
Create space in your day that has no agenda or "to do" list,
Part of being spiritual is being constantly amazed
When you open up space and time in your daily life, the Spirit speaks and She will amaze you.

Each new day is a freshing time, a time of possibility and promise.
Dawn brings awakening and renewal.
Dawn unveils the mystery of this universe.
Dawn is the ultimate surprise. . . it awakens us to the immense "thereness" of nature.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to end.
They are new every morning,
Great is your faithfulness, O Lord.

Embrace the Father's Gift

2009-12-14T03:58:00.002-06:00

As I prepare for our Soul Dig January session I am comforted and loved to see how much Jesus loves us, by giving us the Holy Spirit. For years I felt like I knew Jesus and I knew God but the Holy Spirit was a mystery to me. I always thought my relationship with God was about what I did; rather it seems to be much more about what He does.

I am to receive, accept, not run away from it. I am to embrace and hold the "good gifts" from the Father.

In a culture that is filled with “takers” and consumerism, it is amazing that we have such a difficult time receiving the awesome gifts of the Father.

Stories of Transformation

2009-12-11T04:40:00.003-06:00

Over the last couple of weeks my team at Westwinds has shared numerous stories of how God is changing their hearts. Our stories are important both for ourselves and the community we are part of. With our stories others are can be encouraged, challenged, directed and even corrected.

Hear’s what I’m hearing:
ONE: The other week I really didn’t want to be here (at church with the kids). I had a grumpy attitude. But when I was M&M studio the kids were singing this song (note: one I didn’t like!) and this little girl next to me began to sing. As I listened to her sing with love and conviction, God melted my heart. I knew I was where I needed to be.

TWO: Lately I’ve been evaluating everything I do and how I spend my time. Does this draw me closer to God? Is it a neutral experience? Does it draw me away from God? I feel like God is asking me to be more intentional about how I live everyday. Did that conversation, did that book, did that gathering, did that movie draw me towards God or did I feel distanced from him.

THREE: The other day I made all sorts of changes on an organizational chart to help this older volunteer feel good about what we were doing. The way I had the chart made more sense to me, but it wasn’t “the way it was done” before. So I decided that instead of arguing with this lady that I would willingly accommodate her “anal retentive need-ness” (oops) and give her what she wanted. I didn’t give in to her out of anger or frustration, I did what I did to help her.

FOUR: A friend shared that when her new grandbaby was born, the other grandma kinda pushed her way into the hospital room and monopolized the parent’s and newborn’s attention. I was angry and hurt but for the sake of the relationship with my kids I remained quiet. It was really hard but it was the right thing to do.

FIVE: Something happened a couple of months ago that really hurt me. It wasn’t intentional but it still hurt. Later I found out the information I had shared was not passed on to other key people, hence no one from church knew about my brother’s death. . . Through a lot of prayers and tears my spouse and I have decided to make sure this doesn’t happen to another family. We are going to stand in the gap and help the church establish some type of process to help other families who have a death in the family.

SIX: Talked to a woman the other day. She mentioned that even though she has 2 small kids, she’s been trying to spend some quiet time, time alone with God to listen for His voice. She’s noticing a difference in her relationship with God.

Each of these stories is about transformation. When you give up something you really would rather hang onto – your time, your chart, your desires – you “die” to yourself and become more like Jesus. Transformation costs you something. Just like in the child's book The Velveteen Robbit, it hurts to become real. Transformation happens when we let go of something to receive a “new, better” something.

How are you growing in your relationship with Jesus?
How are you being transformed? How is the Spirit talking to you? How is your heart?

Help Protrait @ Westwinds

2009-12-10T04:54:00.002-06:00

This Saturday, Dec. 12 my coworkers, Mel and Sheryl have organized a community outreach called Help Protrait. This outreach to Paragon families (the school located next to Westwinds Church) invites them to come to church Saturday afternoon to receive a free professional family portrait. We have makeup artists, hair stylist, food and hospitality folks here. Our desire is to bless these families with this personal gift and let them experience Jesus' love through our WW people.

These youtube videos are great and express the heart of Help Portrait. Please pray for us serving this weekend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9tu1XrBn3A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3BFwgf1f2I

(NOTE Help Protrait is a national event. There are studios set up all over Jackson, Michigan, and the country)

Sabbath day of rest

2009-12-08T05:32:00.003-06:00

A friend recently shared that over the last 6-9 months he had not stayed closely connected with some personal friends - friends that he played and laughed with; friends that asked good questions about his personal life, marriage and ministry. My friend said he was feeling the effects of not having those significant people present in his life and he shared a few ideas of how he would better stay connected.Through these simple observation and self-discovery moments, my friend is better able to "fine tune" his activities so that his soul is healthy.

Today, I'm taking the day off. I too have felt the effects of not caring of my soul. Even though I have officially had days off over the last 6 weeks or so, they have beeen filled with fieldtrips with the kids (great things) and all day visits at the hospital with my parents. These activities are worthwhile and good but take my energy rather than restore it.

So today is all about me and re-creating. I'm cooking, writing, studying, maybe drawing. Taking a nap and maybe hiking out at the reserve. I'm calling to make an appointment with my spiritual director. Then this afternoon I'll be ready to pickup the kids and meet another family to go help out at The Priceless Gift Store.

For me that is what Sabbath rest is about. Making time to restore my soul, stay healthy and connected to the Vine (Jesus Christ). The result is fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, etc. I'm a better follower of Jesus and a better wife, mom, friend, pastor

I wonder. . .did Jesus know he was Son of God?

2009-12-07T20:52:00.004-06:00

Last week Dave McDonald (www.westwinds.org) taught on the incarnation. During Cue people texted in questions. One question asked was, "When did Jesus know that he was the Son of God - or part of the Godhead? What a great question!

Just recently I have begun to understand and appreciate the humanity of Jesus as a deeper level. I now see Jesus as a fully, developing/evolving human person who went through both developmental and spiritual stages.

For years I have consciously held the knowledge that Jesus is both fully human and divine, yet I have been introduced to some new information that has blown up my “box.” I am seeing Jesus to be a lot more HUMAN than I previously envisioned. Having kids and working with kids like I do, gives me perhaps a different perspective on Jesus – the Kid!

Having said that . . . here are some reflections on Luke 2.41-52
(Jesus in the temple when he was about 12 years old)

The family’s yearly journey to Jerusalem may have been like our family vacation with friends and family. Family routines and rules are relaxed as everyone is hanging out together. It is easy to see how one parent thought the other parent knew where the kids were – over with the cousins in the next “cabin.” I can’t imagine what it would feel like to realize that your kid is missing. He’s not over with these cousins, or that uncle or those friends. Where is he?

At 12 years old Jesus is no little kid (toddler) who has wandered off and is lost. Something has caught his attention and his focus has shifted, he’s distracted and pulled in another direction.
He is intrigued by this group of men in the temple. They appear to be learned men and their discussion is interesting. He sits and listens. How long does a 12 year old sit and listen? In our culture a kid could play a video game for 3 days straight! All this information Jesus is hearing doesn’t make sense, he can no longer only sit quietly, so he creeps in closer to the circle of men. Someone notices that he has been there for quite some time. One of the teachers looks at Jesus and asks, “What do you think about this comment?”

And so the questions and answers begin to flow. Hours fly by. Maybe this is one of the first times Jesus has sat with a formal group of teachers. Food is brought in to the group of men and Jesus eats with them. The sky is light, then dark, then light and dark again, but they are inside the temple and no one really notices. I imagine it is a like a young kid on an adventure in the woods – following a trail and then all of sudden realizes they have been gone for hours/days.

There is some commotion, there are some voices, a woman’s voice, something not often heard in the temple. It’s not just any woman’s voice; it’s his mom’s voice. What is she doing in here? All of sudden Jesus is not just “one of the guys” that the teachers are quizzing, he’s someone’s son – a son that has been missing, not just for hours but days! Oh crap – he’s in trouble!!!

His mom is angry, upset, emotional, astonished and relived all at once (women are such complex beings!) What are you doing? Why did you go off and not tell us? We have been so worried about you. . .

Jesus is 12 years old – he just got “caught” messing up. I think he knows that he messed up and comes up with the best possible answer he can quickly find. . . “Like come on Mom? Don’t you know that I’m special – Did you not know that I would be in my Father Abba’s house?” Geezz – he got out of that one. Pull out the big guns – I’m in my Father’s house – the trump card. I think that religious answer just saved his butt!

I can imagine Mary thinking, “I don’t care if you are special and are the Son of God, and you better listen to me – your mom – because I’m the one that is HERE in your face!!

Kids are so amazing. Just when they are ready to send you off the deep end, they say something that blows you out of the water. I seriously wonder if Jesus’ statement was a great escape clause (get me out of trouble with mom) – BUT was also an incredible moment of truth. Truth that was for the first time spoken out loud!

Ever have those moments that you finally say something out loud, something you’ve been thinking about for a while in your mind or maybe you've been having a feeling about something. As soon as you say those words out loud you know that it is a true statement.

Perhaps Jesus’ statement was like that. A statement that was Spirit lead. Perhaps this was a profound moment in Jesus’ spiritual formation. A moment when he got a glimpse into what his future would held.

Anyways they went home. So they went home where they all pondered and tried to make sense of this odd incident in their family’s journey.

Blessing Others

2009-12-06T21:25:00.002-06:00

The other day my husband shared that he really missed not playing his guitar. In the 12 years I've been with him, playing music has not been a priority for him. He mentioned that he felt something was missing and perhaps it was his music.

I was so pleased to hear him express this desire. I told him that if he picked up his guitar and began playing again that everyone in our family would benefit and be blessed. I honestly believe that. Our kids need to see this other creative side to their dad; our kids need experience their dad's talent and see the pleasure it brings him.

Everyone in the family/community benefit when we practice and use the unique gifts God has given to us. Even if Randy never again plays in public, we will be blessed and encouraged to use our gifts.

I took his guitar to have it fixed for his upcoming birthday/cxmas gift. He doesn't read my blog so I can say this :)

Creativity

2009-12-03T04:43:00.004-06:00

Most people in my life right now don't know that I have a degree in Art & Design from Grand Valley. My first eight years out of college I was a graphic designer and corporate communication specialist at EDS. In that time however I realized that I was a very mediocre designer and gradually moved towards the writing and managing various teams.

For years I have said that my creativity comes out in some of my writing, photography, gardening, cooking, and decorating. I did very little with my art training or background until I was at a silent retreat several years ago. At this particular retreat there was an art studio where I played, prayed and created a triptych collage with inexpensive material.

Lately I've been sensing not just a desire but a need to "play" around with my art. In November's Soul Dig gathering, we played in silence for a hour creating a sculpture collage. I was pleased and amazed at how all the women embraced the opportunity to create something. I think our desire to create is part of the Image of God imprint.

I don't write or create art for other people's pleasure or to seek their affirmation. I need to create because it nurtures my soul. It draws me to God. I need to do this for me.

A thankful heart

2009-11-26T04:47:00.001-06:00

A heart of thanksgiving. . .
"I am sure we all know that I am one of the most thankful people in this world today, not just because of my freedom, but because of all of you. I wish you could feel my heart beating as I try and share my thankfulness with and for you. I will be blessed to be with my entire family at our home this Thanksgiving. My first one in 45 years.

I think of each of you, one by one and simply say 'Thank you."

- Bill

NOTE: My parents kinda adopted Bill 50+ years ago. He's always been a part of our family, even though he was not physically able to be present. He's like a big brother that has come home to be part of our family.

Stories of Transformation

2009-11-24T04:29:00.002-06:00

Over the last couple of weeks I have been encouraged by the stories I've been hearing. Stories of how God is changing people's hearts. While each of us are on an individual journey we still need the community. Our community is the place where we have reality checks, where our stories can encourage, challenge, direct and even correct others.

Here's what I've hearing:
ONE: The other week I really didn't want to be here at church with the kids. I had a grumpy attitude. But when I was in the Music & Motion Studio the kids were singing this song (Note it was one I didn't like!) and this little third grader who was next to me began to sing. As I listened to her sing with love and conviction, God melted my heart. I knew I was where I needed to me.

TWO: Lately I've evaluating everything I do and how I spend my time. Does it draw me closer to God? Is it a neutral experience? Does it draw me away from God? I feel like God is asking me to be more intentional about how I live everyday. Did that conversation, did that book, did that gathering, did that movie draw me towards God or did I feel distanced from him?

THREE: The other day I made all sorts of changes on an organizational chart to help this older volunteer feel good about what we were doing. The way I had created the chart made more sense to me, but it wasn't "the way it was done" before. So I decided that instead of arguing with this lady that I would willingly accommodate her "anal retentive neediness" (Lori's words) and give her what she wanted. I didn't give in to her out of anger or frustration, I did what I did to help her.

FOUR: A friend shared that when her new grandbaby was born, the other grandma kinda pushed her way into the hospital room and monopolized the parents and newborn's attention. She said, "I was angry and hurt but for the sake of the relationship with my kids I remained quiet." It was really hard to do that, but it was the right thing to do.

Each of these stories is about transformation. When you give up something you really would rather hang onto - your time, your chart, your desires - you "die" to yourself and become more like Jesus. Transformation costs you something. (It hurts to become real - The Velveteen Rabbit) Transformation happens when we let go of something to receive a "new, better" something.

Detour from Matthew - kinda

2009-11-11T03:48:00.003-06:00

For consistency of flow I could say that I'm still stuck in Matthew and move on to the second temptation. But I can't. I'm still stuck but in a way that I did not expect. I kinda have taken a detour. And my spiritual journey is full of detours. Things that I encounter that I did not expect.

THE OBSERVATION
The other week was very busy, really it was too busy for me.
From a Saturday/Sunday soccer tournament,
to dinner with niece on Monday,
to a visit with the Ganton residents on Tuesday,
to the Centre on Wednesday,
to Nurtured Heart parenting class on Thursday,
to meal montage on Friday.

The SELF-EXAMINATION & REFLECTION
In the past I would have listed ALL these things like it was badge. The one with the most activities WIN! But I don't think that now. While all of these activities were good and primarily focused on relationships, I was exhausted and didn't feel great and my daughter was sick. Is there a correlation or just a coincidence? I can't say for certain, but I do know my own tendencies to over extend myself and my need to guard against that.

I need to ask the deeper questions of myself and my motives. . . The First Temptation of Christ (Success). The first temptation of Christ, to turn stones into bread (Matthew 4.13) is the need to be effective, successful, relevant, to make things happen. You've done something and people say, "Wow! Good job! You did it right. You're OK." When the crowds approve, it's hard not to believe that we have done a good thing and probably God's will.

The SELF DISCOVERY
Oooooohhh. This is me. This is really me without the Spirit's guidance. I can so easily equate busyiness with being productive and feeling good about myself.

The RESPONSE
In the past this information, this self-realization could have lead me to "beat myself up" for days. If you have ever beat yourself up you know exactly what I am saying. It's a head game of self talk that says things like, "You are sooo stupid. I can't believe you did this AGAIN! It's your fault, you should know better than this. You're a leader at the church, how can you help others when your life is soo screwed up. You're a fraud. If people really knew how you lived your life, you wouldn't even have a job." WOW, those statements flowed pretty easy.

I have found that kind of self-talk is Satan accusing me. . . that famous comment, "If people really knew _______ (fill in the blank) this about me, they'd be out of here." I believe that when the Spirit reveals these things to me, She does so to help guide and direct me. This information is not used to condemn or beat myself up but rather to help me move forward with more self-awareness and insight.

Spiritual growth happens when we observe, reflect, discover and respond. (That's exactly the flow of the preschool Connection Studio curriculum.) Take some time - in the car, or 5 minutes before you go to bed and mentally run through your day - observe, reflect, discover and respond. Be still and listen to what the Spirit wants to teach you.

Silent Retreats - @ home

2009-11-03T04:52:00.002-06:00

My spiritual director mentioned to me that she was planning a silent retreat at home. Her husband was going out of town for several days and she would be home alone. So she planned to "retreat" at her home. This conversation invited me to explore this type of retreat experience as well.

Most of the time I have a day off during the week and I'm pretty much alone while the kids are at school and Randy is working. I've started having some personal mini-retreats.Once the kids are at school I don't have the TV, radio or iPod on. I may have an extended period of time to read or write. I try to schedule in a nap and if possible a period of time where I'm outside, walking, hiking, gardening etc.

What I do is not as important as where my focus is at. During this periods of silence/retreat/ sabbath I try to be very aware of my surroundings and what is happening within me. I reflect more indepth on recent conversations or situations. I explore the various feelings I've experienced such as inadequacy or anger within myself. I ask the Spirit to teach me and show me what really is happening in my soul and then I listen.

I listen for the Spirit while I go about my day cleaning the house, gardening or doing some other activity that does not require a whole lot of mental energy.

Awareness

2009-10-29T07:32:00.002-05:00

The other day I spent 5 hours with my brother, Dale. We talked about how our spiritual journeys have changed and deepen throughout these last 5 years. Even though we have journeyed different paths separately we have both arrived at similiar places. A place where we are experiencing the love of God and relying less on knowledge and performance.

Dale shared that he has been walking to and from work each day. These 40 minutes of walking has met various needs such as exercise, reflection, prayer time, and an increased awareness of what is around him. A simple change in his daily routine has had a huge impact on him.

My husband once said that spending time with my brother helped him understand me better. What an awesome complement.

Connection Studio - WWKids preschool experience

2009-10-21T10:40:00.003-05:00

How would you like to find a place where you don't have to rush because there is plenty of time? A place where you can listen to hear God's voice? A place where everyone knows your name and you see your friends and share a snack? Each week our preschool kids experience this in the new Connection Studio.

This month the kids will meet the Good Shepherd. The loving, caring Shepherd who knows their names and guides them to still water and green pastures. The sheep recognize the Shepherd's voice and follow Him.

I am so excited about this new opportunity for our preschool kids. For over 10 years I have been reading and researching the Godly Play, Young Children in Worship, Catechist of the Good Shepherd and most recently Maria Montessori. The Connection Studio is wwKids intrepetation of spiritual direction for little kids. I have an awesome team leading this new adventure into kids' spiritual formation.

Still in Matthew

2009-10-20T08:01:00.003-05:00

"Stuck in Matthew" sounds a lot like "Lost in Space," an old TV show I watched when I was a kid! When you are stuck you can fight to be "released" or you can just hang out and see how the Spirit works in that "stuckiness." I'm waiting, watching, wondering and praying. . .
What does the Spirit want to teach me through this Matthew scripture?

As I've been hanging out in Matthew I just "happened" to come across Richard Rohr's reflections ("Radical Grace") on the temptations of Jesus. Still surprises me how the Spirit does that, She leads me to other resources I need to hear or see.

The First Temptation of Christ (Success)
I believe that all would-be leaders must face the same 3 temptations as Jesus. The first temptation of Christ, to turn stones into bread (Matthew 4.13) is the need to be effective, successful, relevant, to make things happen. You've done something and people say, "wow! Good job! You did it right. You're OK." When the crowds approve, it's hard not to believe that we have done a good thing and probably God's will.

Usually when you buy into that too quickly, you're feeding the false self and the system, which tells you what it immediately wants and seldom knows what it really needs. You can be a very popular and successful leader operating at this level. That is why Jesus has to face that temptation first, to move us beyond what we want to what we really need. In refusing to be relevant, in refusing to respond to people's immediate requests, Jesus says, Go deeper. What's the real question? What are you really after? What does the heart really hunger for? What do you really desire? "It's not by bread alone that we live." (Matthew 4.4)

Westwinds' Kids ministry is different because it builds off some core beliefs,
that kids learn best through hands-on, self discovery environments;
that kids need to learn to ask good questions to engage the story of God;
that kids can learn to listen and respond to God's voice;
that kids play is essential to their spiritual development;
that kids learn the story of God and begin to connect their personal story w/God's; and
that kids will grow through consistent relationships with adults.

What we do in wwKids in not because it is cool but because I believe it touches the deep heart-felt needs of our kids and will build the foundation for their spiritual journey to Jesus, the son of God.

In my quiet moments with God I ask the Spirit to help me go deeper. To examine myheart and motives. Why do I do what I do? Am I seeking the approval of others or is God's approval most important? Whatever I discover through this process of self reflection, I must be gentle with myself. Be kind to myself. The Spirit does not accuse me. Satan does that. The Spirit gently guides me to a deeper place of self awareness and then stays with me as we journey together.

New Place

2009-10-10T06:41:00.003-05:00

Just a short distance from our place there is a 500-acre perserve. The kids and I went out Thursday after school. I'll admit that the idea was not immediately embraced by the kids although they liked that Jake (our dog) could come with us.

As we moved into the forest, Jeff got a bit more excited, recalling other places that he and I had hiked in Ohio and Kentucky. Allie took a bit longer to warm up, but became more engaged as she tried to find me the "most perfect red leaf." Then we found sassafras trees and bushes. This tree has 3 unique leaves on it, so it was fun to see if we could identify the 3 leaves and find more trees.

The 1.4 mile trail took us about 40 minutes to walk and we were the only ones out there. That's important to an introvert like me. You can't be noisey in the woods! It just doesn't work.

Big thanks to my Westwinds' friends who told me about this great place. I am sure that I will make frequent visits with my family or more realistically I'll drag out ny family out there with me! At least the dog likes to go with me.

Stuck in Matthew

2009-10-08T04:48:00.004-05:00

I'm wondering what the Spirit wants to teach me through this scripture. I'll sit and let it "compost" and see what happens.

So continuing in Matthew... Jesus is just baptized and a voice from heaven says, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Now Jesus has been led into the desert by the Spirit to be tempted. He's been fasting for 40 days and nites.

I wonder how you feel after being alone in the desert for 40 days and nites? I wonder how you feel after not eating for 40 days? I wonder if Jesus is tired, dirty, grumpy? I wonder if Jesus was lonely or was he used to being alone? I don't think I would be at my "best" after 40 days of living like that - isolated, emotionally and physically tired and hungry.

Matthew 4.3 says, "The tempter came to him and said, "if you are the son of God. . ." Satan knows how to attack us. He uses a similar phrase that the voice from heaven uses in 3.17. He questions Jesus' understanding of who He is - the Son of God. Satan tries to plant a seed of doubt and then challenges Jesus by saying, prove to me you are the son of God by turning these stones into bread.

Satan wants me to doubt what God says about me. He doesn't want me to really believe that I am the beloved daughter of God; that God loves me, Lori Ann Tate. We become dangerous people (to Satan) when we really believe and trust what God has said about us. We become dangerous because we don't believe Satan's lies and he holds less power/control in our life.

Each day
each hour,
each moment of my life
I get to choose who I believe.

Do I believe and trust what God says about me or
do I believe and accept the lies that Satan tells me.

Accept the gift of God's love and
live there as His beloved daughter.
God's love will change your life.

More thoughts from Matthew

2009-10-03T04:50:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a little bit of inductive Bible study on Matthew. The other day I observed that when Jesus was baptized (from Matt. 3.13-17), even though he had not started his ministry God the Father says, "this is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased." That has significant meaning to me, since I struggle with letting myself to loved by God for simply being me.

According to Matthew's gospel immediately following the batpism Jesus is led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Right after this HUGE confirmatmion - you are my beloved son, Jesus is led to the desert. There is such a stark contrast from between "This is my beloved son" and oh "let the Spirit lead you to the desert to be tempted for 40 days." This is an unexpected turn of events, at least in my mind. I'm thinking that after receiving this great public blessing at the baptism things might go well for Jesus. But my understanding of what is best and God's understanding is very different.

One insight I take away from this passage is: Joy and blessings are companions of suffering and uncomfortableness. I don't believe you can have one without the other. If you are willing to dive in deeply and work hard in uncomfortable territory - your self-image, ego, anger, desire to control, desire for approval - then you will be able to experience the deep love and joy that is offered to you by Jesus through the Spirit.

Where is God's Spirit leading you? Is the Spirit leading you to the "desert" to come face-to-face with something you need to address? Ask God's Spirit to show you.

Thoughts from Matthew

2009-10-01T04:37:00.002-05:00

I've been reading in the book of Matthew recently. Each gospel tells the story of Jesus from a different perspective with Matthew emphasizing how Jesus fulfills the First Testament prophecies. The adult Jesus isn't even mentioned until chapter 3.13 when he comes to John the Baptist and asks to be baptized. Recognizing who Jesus is, John hesitantly baptizes him. As JEsus ic coming out of the water, "at that moment heaven was opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

What struck me as I read this story was the fact that Jesus hadn't done anythng yet! He hadn't preached, he hadn't healed anybody, he's done NOTHING, yet the Father says He is well pleased. The Father says this is my son, my own dear son whom I love. Jesus knew his Father loved him and Jesus knew who he was in the eyes of his Father - a beloved child, a son.

Unconditional love is unimaginable apart from God the Father. We hear comments and some of them say with us throughout our life, uncless we consciously allow God's love & grace to heal us. Those tapes can be negative statements like "you're not responsible," "you're not doing encough," "you're fat, you're dumb, you're ugly." Or they can be blessings, "you're a good friend," "you always smile," "you're a good listener."

How loving is the Father that he blessed his son Jesus with those words, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased," BEFORE Jesus began his ministry.

I am loved. I am special because of who God made me, not because of what I do or don't accomplish at home, work or ministry.

Archetypes

2009-09-21T04:42:00.002-05:00

Dave started a new series called Archetypes. It ties different personalities to various spiritual gifts. Each week as Sandbox we debrief but I find it hard to be objective since I love this type of stuff.

Week one, September 13, was the intellectual. The "smarty pants, a thinker, a learner and seeker of truth." Every test or inventory I've taken in the last 10-15 years point me in this direction of intellectual/thinker. Yet when I think of the intellectuals I know like Dave, JVo or Ben, I typically see men. So I began to wonder, can a woman be an intellectual?

Yes, women can be intellectuals. While at seminary I loved to spend hours reading or studying the Bible. (I was single at that time). After I married and had my son, I was asked to lead a Bible study. I hesitanted because I didn't have the time prepare an inductive Bible study from scratch. My life and priorities were changing, I still loved Jesus, I just couldn't spend hours studying or reading.

The other day I got 3 new books from Amazon.com. I couldn't wait to look through them and begin reading. Since I had no time, I took one in the car to skim through while we drove to the store. The kids were noisey, the radio blasting a football game and all I wanted to do was yell "shut up" so I could read. That's when I knew I was truly an intellectual, but it's not fitting into this season of my life!

Being an unfulfilled intellectual is frustrating. I have to snatch brief 10 minutes segments before bed or in a coffee shop to read, but I am learning it's not how much I read and study that is important BUT how I am integrating and letting the truth of what I read shape and form who I am.

There will be a day when I can sit and study for hours, but today is NOT that day. Today as I move through my day as a mom preparing meals, taking care of household business and myself, I will let the Spirit guide me. Conscious of her presence, living my life with peace and joy for the gifts I hold.

check out the archetype series at www.westwinds.org

Who's ever 6 loves more!

2009-09-20T04:12:00.003-05:00

This is Allie during our last days in China (5/03). She is the fourth one in from the left. It is tradition for each travel group to get a photograph of their daughters on the red couch at the White Swan. As you can see from the photo this is an adult thing, not necessarily embraced by the kids.

Yesterday morning Allie came down at 6a and cuddled in my lap and began the "game," Who is 6 loves more, she says. "No" I reply, "whoever is 46 loves more, besides you're not 6 until Sunday."

Today is Allie's bday. She is soooo excited. We're celebrating her bday with Grandma & Grandpa, and a few friends. I cannot imagine not having her in our life. I cannot imagine life without her smiles, hugs, secrets, "pinky promises".

I cannot imagine what it must be like to not be able to provide the most basic things for your family. To not be able to provide food for your child, or medicine or a warm, safe place to sleep. I cannot imagine even thinking about giving a child away. My heart breaks when I think about Allie's "China Momma" who has never seen her smile or received one of her special "Allie's squeeze your guts out" hug. I pray peace for Allie's "China Momma."

Pembroke

2009-09-17T05:30:00.000-05:00

The other day when we were in Detroit I took Jeff by my old elementary school and the house I grew up in til I was 10 years old.

I can't tell you my phone number or address when we lived in Tipp City, Ohio but I can tell you that info from 30+ years ago.

KE8.1226 or otherwise translated 538.1226
12743 Pembroke
Detroit, MI 48219

2009-09-16T05:44:00.001-05:00

Several weeks ago I set up the aquarium with milk weed and some caterpillars. This is all sitting on the kitchen counter so we don't miss a step of this mysterious transformation process. Originally I thought I had 4 larva/caterpillars but it turned out there was a fifth. Two catepillars died and 2 made their "ccccccocoons" (that's how Allie & I say it, always with a smile), and the last one is being transformed right now.

The first butterfly emerged but it's wing was not right. After watching it for seveal hours, I picked up the butterfly hoping if I could get it upright it would stretch out it's wings. Unfortunately even though we had done everything right, the butterfly did not make it.

The second butterfly (seen above) emerged beautifully. I took him outside and for 20-30 minutes he stretched and dried his wings and flew away.

Both of these caterpillars/butterflies had the same environment, same care but one made it and the other one didn't. I've been frustrated with some aspects of ministry lately and my butterflies helped me realize I can't make them fly. I can't make their wings work. I can only provide the environment - safe, nurturing - in which they can grow and do their own work of becoming who God intended them to be - a monarch butterfly.

"Good News"

2009-09-15T05:11:00.000-05:00

In the final week of summer my childcare arrangements crumbled. I had planned to work at home but knew that it wasn't the best for me or the kids. I called my parents and asked if they could help. Unless they have an appointment (meaning a doctor!) they always come.

As I left the house that morning I told Jeff to take care of Grandma & Grandpa. If he went fishing with Grandpa be careful walking back to the pond, etc. After a busy day at work, I asked Mom if there was anyway the kids could go home with them and spend the night with them. She said it would work out fine.

I was hesistant to tell Jeff about the plans, thinking he would not want to spend the time at Mom and Dad's. But when I told Jeff the new plans, he said, "Great. Can I go and tell Allie the good news?" I was filled with joy and graditude that my 9 year old son would be excited to hang out with my 80+ year old parents.

First Day of Kindergarten

2009-09-14T05:39:00.000-05:00

Allie began kindergarten on Tuesday. She has been soooo excited to start school. I'm so glad that we waited that extra year for her. She is confident and eager to learn and smart!

We play a game with cards and marbles. Luck is involved but there is definitely strategy as well. She keeps beating me and loves to rub it in.

He's Nice

2009-09-14T04:45:00.003-05:00

Bill's phone personality lines up with who he is in real life, except bigger! Bill stands about 6'2, he's a big guy. I wasn't totally surprised at how well things went on Saturday. If Bill was a friend of my parents, I knew he would be an OK guy.

My family joked and kidded and harrassed each other like normal and Bill joined right in a bit. For 30 years, Bill promised my dad a steak dinner so that's what we had. He didn't know what kind of ice cream to get so he got 6 kinds to make sure Mom had her favorite. He helped the kids when the frisbee got stuck in the 10 ft bushes. When I told him that he could "yell" at our kids if they were messing around (wrestling on the furniture or something), he replied, "No, I don't yell at kids. I had plenty of that growing up and I won't do that." I sensed an inner peace within Bill.

When we had a few moments alone Bill expressed his gratitude for what I said at the public probation hearing. The attorney general made the comment that they were concerned that Bill would be a threat to the vulnerable people of society - the young & old. When there was an opportunity to speak at the hearing, I shared that some of the dearest people in my life are represented in the most vulnerable groups of our society - the very young and the very old. I said that I trust that my children and my elderly parent would be completely safe with Bill.

It was a good day. A day of celebration and dreams fulfilled. It is another chapter in our family's story. When it was time to leave we were all talking about plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas, where was it going to be, who could come, etc. We got into the car and Jeff said, "That was fun. Mr. Bill is really nice."