Tending the Holy - Katherine Howard, OSB
Seeking & Finding God: Love & Humility in the Benedictine Tradition
"If someone who comes to me is having trouble in prayer, or if I myself am, one important thing to be on the alert for is the character and quality of the interaections and dynamics of daily life. It is neither insignificant nor irrelevant that many people who come for spiritual direction spend a lot of their time reflecting on their relaitonships with spouses, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, teachers, students, neighbors, associates, clients, customers. These relationships tell us much about our relationship with God. Destructure behavior and attitudes toward self and others blind us and cut us off from the goodness of God, the basic goodness of life. Loving and compassionate behavior and attitudes open us to God. Reflecting on these various daily experiences of ours often deepen our gratitiude in prayer or lead us to repentance and compunction."
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Big Questions from Little Kids
Quite honestly I have a lot of goals in my life like get a doctorate, become a master gardener, learn yoga, have a great marriage, but one of my top 3 goals include, teaching (guiding, inviting, encouraging) my kids to know and love God. So the podcast titled “The Spirituality of Parenting,” (speakingoffaith.publicradio.com) by Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso definitely caught my attention.
Our kids have big questions about God and life and most of the time there is no place to ask or wonder about them. Even churches are filled with classes that want to teach them about God, but not necessarily listen to them ask their questions about Him.
In the religious education field, (in general) we are very focused on making sure our kids know the right things, know the right information. Quite honestly information alone seldom changes a person. There’s that old saying is “you can give a person a fish and they can eat for a day or you can teach them to fish and they will eat for a life time.” The same is true in religious education. We can give kids the 5 steps to “accept Jesus” into your heart and life or we can help and guide kids to discover Jesus for themselves.
Self-discovery and mastery builds a child’s inner-confidence. It affirms that he/she is a component individual and contributes to his/her community. These attributes of confidence and competency empowers a child to continue to seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, God the Father and Creator and the Spirit.
Rabbi Sasso says that by the age of 5 all kids have a concept of God, whether or not they can verbalize it. If we don’t engage their questions, they will stop asking. Sofia Cavalletti, a Roman Catholic theologian, tells the story about a little girl who was raised in a nonreligious home, with her atheist father. Repeatedly the little girl asked about how the world came into being, and the father’s answer consistently reflected his worldview, it’s all by chance and accident. Time and time again this little girl asked the same question (drives you nuts!) and finally the father probably weary, this time replied, “well some people believe that God was involved with the world’s creation.” The little girl began to excitedly jump around, saying, “Yes, I knew it was Him.”
When kids have questions, they are looking to engage in conversation, not necessarily solve the problem. Talking is what is essential. This is very important for parents and those who work with kids. More times than not adults would be more effective, listening to the kids, keeping quiet (not teaching!) and then asking a few good questions with lots of affirmation, “that is a great question. I can tell you have thought a lot about that.”
These times with our kids are sacred moments.
Our kids have big questions about God and life and most of the time there is no place to ask or wonder about them. Even churches are filled with classes that want to teach them about God, but not necessarily listen to them ask their questions about Him.
In the religious education field, (in general) we are very focused on making sure our kids know the right things, know the right information. Quite honestly information alone seldom changes a person. There’s that old saying is “you can give a person a fish and they can eat for a day or you can teach them to fish and they will eat for a life time.” The same is true in religious education. We can give kids the 5 steps to “accept Jesus” into your heart and life or we can help and guide kids to discover Jesus for themselves.
Self-discovery and mastery builds a child’s inner-confidence. It affirms that he/she is a component individual and contributes to his/her community. These attributes of confidence and competency empowers a child to continue to seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, God the Father and Creator and the Spirit.
Rabbi Sasso says that by the age of 5 all kids have a concept of God, whether or not they can verbalize it. If we don’t engage their questions, they will stop asking. Sofia Cavalletti, a Roman Catholic theologian, tells the story about a little girl who was raised in a nonreligious home, with her atheist father. Repeatedly the little girl asked about how the world came into being, and the father’s answer consistently reflected his worldview, it’s all by chance and accident. Time and time again this little girl asked the same question (drives you nuts!) and finally the father probably weary, this time replied, “well some people believe that God was involved with the world’s creation.” The little girl began to excitedly jump around, saying, “Yes, I knew it was Him.”
When kids have questions, they are looking to engage in conversation, not necessarily solve the problem. Talking is what is essential. This is very important for parents and those who work with kids. More times than not adults would be more effective, listening to the kids, keeping quiet (not teaching!) and then asking a few good questions with lots of affirmation, “that is a great question. I can tell you have thought a lot about that.”
These times with our kids are sacred moments.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Walking in Grace
One of the most liberating and transformative moments in my spiritual journey came while I was the director of faith-based early childhood education program. One of my employees had falsified some state documents and I needed to address the issue. As I mentally prepared to talk to her, some of my own issues re-surfaced. “How could I confront and hold this Christian employee accountable, when I had done _______?” Even though I had prayed for forgiveness, I still carried the guilt with me.
I “inherited” my assistant when I took this new position. Sharon was about 10 years older than me, a mom of 3 boys and married to a man who was a minister at another church. For over 5 years, we shared a small 10x15 office space and became great friends. I loved and respected Sharon very much.
Before I met with my employee to confront her deception, I sat down with Sharon. I shared my “secret story” with her. Sharon accepted my “secret” with love and tenderness. There was no disappointment or condemnation, only acceptance. From that day on Sharon never mentioned that conversation again. Knowing this “secret” about me, she never treated me differently.
Each day I walked in grace and was transformed.
I “inherited” my assistant when I took this new position. Sharon was about 10 years older than me, a mom of 3 boys and married to a man who was a minister at another church. For over 5 years, we shared a small 10x15 office space and became great friends. I loved and respected Sharon very much.
Before I met with my employee to confront her deception, I sat down with Sharon. I shared my “secret story” with her. Sharon accepted my “secret” with love and tenderness. There was no disappointment or condemnation, only acceptance. From that day on Sharon never mentioned that conversation again. Knowing this “secret” about me, she never treated me differently.
Each day I walked in grace and was transformed.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Telling Your Story
Providing space or a place for someone to tell their story is one of the roles of a spiritual director. In the very process of telling your story to someone, of putting your story into words, amazingly you often sees things more clearly or from a different perspective.
There have been numerous times as I’ve met with my spiritual director that I look at her and say, “this is the first time I’ve spoken this thought or idea out loud” or “this is the first time I’ve made that connection.”
Friends who are good listeners also gift others with this kind of “space” to be.
There have been numerous times as I’ve met with my spiritual director that I look at her and say, “this is the first time I’ve spoken this thought or idea out loud” or “this is the first time I’ve made that connection.”
Friends who are good listeners also gift others with this kind of “space” to be.
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