Engaging rather than avoiding

I decided rather than avoid these three major “issues/circumstances”
My friend’s progressing illness
My elderly parents’ final season of life
My husband’s increasingly demanding job

I would engage myself and allow and invite the Spirit
into my space
to teach, guide and comfort me
along each of these paths.

By God’s grace
I will do “the work” that is laid out before me.
And through “the work” my heart will be transformed
and I will become more and more, my true-self.

Gently Lead

I have been ignoring some inner movements and promptings of the Spirit. My quiet, still space has been filled with blogging, class work, reading, and WWKids’ work. I have been avoiding this silent time and filling it with “good things.”

Why?
Why do I refuse to be still?
What am I avoiding?

In the midst of this season of avoidance I discovered that I have been afraid and angry. I’ve been avoiding facing some painful things:
My friend’s progressing illness
My elderly parents’ final season of life
My husband’s increasingly demanding job

After months of avoidance, the Spirit ever so gently broke through my barriers and encouraged me to engage this part of my journey and no longer avoid.

This “conversion” moment went something like this:
SD: Where does God fit in to these situations?
LT: I haven’t let him in
SD: Why?
LT: I don’t want to go there
SD: Why?
LT: I don’t want to hurt that much
SD: Aren’t you already hurting?
LT: Yes, I’m hurting while I try not to hurt
SD: What if I went with you to that place? I’ll hold you and cry with you?
LT: I don’t want to cry.
SD: But you already are. Let me hold you, go with you. If you can’t make it I’ll carry you.
LT: OK, but I don’t know how to start.

SD: via Henri Nouwen:. . . . “keep your eyes on Him who becomes poor with the poor, weak with the weak and who is rejected with the rejected. That one, Jesus, is the source of all peace.

Where is his peace to be found? In weakness. Few people are telling us this truth, but there is peace to be found in our own weakness, in those places of our heart where we feel most broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. In our weakness we are forced to let go from doing much, thinking much and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right where we are most vulnerable, the peace that is not of this world is mysteriously hidden.

Jesus, teach me to rely on you, on my heavenly Father and on the Holy Spirit rather than my own self-sufficiency.

The first drawing of Mary was done by a 5th grade girl.

The second drawing was done by a 5 year old boy.

The artwork is mixed media: crayon and watercolor.

This is what I envisioned when we began the K6 Experience Studios at Westwinds Church. A place where kids can explore their relationship and undertanding of God, through various avenues - one being art. I love that the art studio doesn't make a perscribed "craft." Through the leadership and guidance of our talented Art Studio director, Sheryl Tolonen, our kids are encouraged to use their imagination. In essence the kids' creations, become a prayer to God. Offering up their heart felt thoughts that may not always come out through verbal expression.

Play time

Wednesday morning when I got up there were 3-4 inches of powdery snow. Normally I'm only outside for only a few minutes with the dog, but this morning we walked down the middle of the snow covered road.

It was beautiful, it was deeply silent, it was lonely, it was holy.

. . . fast track 15 hours ahead - it's 7:00p, it was still dark and cold but beautiful - I'm outside again with the dog and Allie as well. She's taking the dog potty, while I shovel snow. Jeff bursts out the door and takes Allie to the incline off the deck and the kids begin to slide down the hill. No snow pants, just the nylon from their jackets to slide down the hill. . . I'll see if my plants come up in the spring. . . We all came in and had hot chocolate and went to bed by 8:45!

When Allie and I got home this afternoon the first thing Jeff said to Allie was, "quick get your snow pants on and let's play before dinner." They were outside for 45 minutes playing with dog, sledding down this 10-foot little mound, having a great time. I was jealous, I wanted to play but I had to make dinner.

I love that my kids like to play in snow. If you haven't already, get yourself some good winter clothes and get outside. It's good for the soul!