I Hurt

I am thankful that God has given me the gift of having a spiritual director. Sherri and I have been together for 3.5 years. God’s Spirit speaks in and through Sherri to me, giving me perspective, teaching me, loving me and guiding me.

The other day, Sherri said the words I wasn’t able to say alone. My journey is painful at this time. Obviously I am aware that I am hurting, but I’ve resisted saying the words aloud.

I hurt. My body is hurting, my hip, my leg, my back, my knee. Sometimes it is an ache, sometimes it is pain. I hurt when I stand, when I sit, when I walk, when I lie down. I hurt. I don’t sleep well because I hurt. My stomach is hurting because of all the Aleve I’ve been popping to fix the body hurts! My heart is hurting with the loss of my dad.

There have been some days that I just want to stay in bed and I sleep. I have given myself grace and have had numerous lazy days and this winter I’ve been knitting a lot. But I also know and believe that my healing – physically, emotionally and spiritually - will primarily take place in the context of my daily life over many, many days. Days that will be filled with ordinary activities of making meals, baking bread, working, doing homework with the kids, watching NCIS, and serving others, and soon gardening!

The other day Len Sweet described three different landscapes.
1. The desert is a place to hang low and do a lot of thinking and reflecting
2. The mountains are a place to go to gain a big picture perspective on life
3. The sea is a place to go for healing and refreshing

Water is and will play a major part of my journey and healing.