Washed Clean

At Westwinds Church we are about to end our sexuality series; a universal topic that has surfaced a lot of stories of brokenness. Sunday in Fusion, communion was given and then people were invited to the table to have their hands washed.

A person would stand before me and I had the privilege to pour water – cool, clean, cleansing water - that caressed the hands of the old and young. I saw both pleasure and pain in people’s faces. As the water fell from their hands into the basin, I could visualize the shame, embarrassment, pain, guilt, hate, anger, fear accumulating in the basin. Surprisingly the water was actually dirty.

Hands have always intrigued me. So much can be seen in someone’s hands. Hands can protect, love, hurt, heal, create, destroy; hands tell stories about the person’s life. One reason I choose Mother Teresa as my spiritual mentor was because of her hands. They are beautiful, loving hands.

This past Sunday it was an honor it was to serve my friends and follow sojourners; to be a witness and participant in their spiritual journey.

Learning in community

While meeting with parents for the child dedication, I asked if they could identify a couple/family that they admire. Perhaps it’s their parenting style or their marriage.

I learned hospitality from my L’Abri friends;
I learned some effective parenting ideas from my brother and wife;
I learned grace from Dr. Joy;
I learned about seeing God in the ordinary experiences of life from my friend Randy Shafer.

I’m such a visual learner that I need to see things in action before I get it . . . well in most things any ways. It’s a good thing that I work with such an awesome group of people – Ben, Dave, JVo, Norma, Becky and Jay. I’m always learning from these guys, different things from each of them.

So I when I read “Questions I ask my kids” on Ben’s blog I knew that I would have to “steal” his questions. Heck, I just took this stuff from his blog. That’s because I admire Ben – he is an awesome, intentional dad.

Questions I ask my kids By Ben Redmond (www.variousparables.com)
A few years back, I read a list of questions that Andy Stanley asked his kids when they were little. I loved them and made them my own.So every few days, before bed time, I ask my kids the following questions:
1. Is everything ok in your heart? (I want my kids to learn how to examine and guard their hearts.)
2. Did anyone hurt your feelings today? (This question seems to bring lots of teachable moments.)
3. Are you mad at anyone? (I want them to understand anger and forgiveness)
4. Did anyone break a promise to you? (This is a selfish questions, because I break promises!)
5. Is there anything I can do for you? (This might seem weird - but I am just trying to be intentional about communicating.)
Do you have any habits or rituals with your kids?

Community is about being inspired and prompted to greater goodness by those who surround you. It’s not a competition – although I was a bit envious that I didn’t think of these questions first! Just by knowing this person, I am inspired for further personal transformation.

Thanks Ben and the rest of the WW staff that daily inspire me to become more like Jesus.

Wasting Time or Sacred Time

Last night after being in school from 8-3 and doing gymnastics, Allie asked me to watch a DVD with her. Sitting down and watching a silly kids' DVD is a very hard thing for me to do when I have painting to do, food to get ready for Thanksgiving, a paper to write, etc.

But something prompted me to say no to the "TO DO" list and yes to my daughter. We got into our PJ's and snuggled on the couch, Jeff even came and watched the DVD with us.

Finding God moments in ordinary life circumstances. God can and does meet me wherever I am at. God is always present.

So watching a silly movie with my 5-year-old daughter - Wasting time or was it sacred time?

Christmas Mediation

One morning my 4-year old daughter Allie came and sat on my lap. We cuddled for a few minutes before she noticed the postcard sitting by the lamp. She said to me, "Mommy, why is that lady so sad?" (see the image at the end of the blog) As we sat quietly she began to notice other elements in the painting.

I hope and pray that you let the Spirit speak to you as mediate and ponder the wonder of this painting. I'll keep the image and writing posted throughout the rest of the year.

Spent the weekend with my spiritual direction group studying Thomas Merton and exploring how we personally may be moving from our false-self to our true-self. Great time of personal reflection and deepening my understanding of the transformation that is taking place in my life.

When I feel the "pressure" that I'm not quite where I want to be or feel like I need to be, to stay up with some imaginary holy person, I fall back to Merton's quote. . .

::Let us never forget

that we will never be anything

but a beginner on this journey::

(my paraphrase version)

I breathe more easily and rest in the Spirit and continue the dance with joy.

wwKids - K6 Art Studio

This morning I received this email about the K6 Art Studio.

"This past weekend, I was so blessed to serve in the Art Studio with the 3rd/4th graders.
As you know, we have been focusing on the story of Samuel. We are sharing Samuel's story to teach the children the power and wonder of listening to GOD's voice. In the Art Studio, the kids were making sculptures that reminds them to listen to GOD's voice. Sheryl (Art Studio Director) provided the kids with so many materials to incorporate into their sculpture. They had fabric, yarn, sequins, feathers, piping and more importantly, blank pieces of paper for writing - WORDS. Words, that will remind them of what GOD is speaking to them, in their own personal journey to grow closer to Him.

When we asked the kids to describe what they had created, my eyes were so teary, I couldn’t see the sculptures. Here are a few examples of what I heard:

Owen - Connected his two wires on his sculpture together with piping to "show his connection to GOD"

Dustin - Shaped his two wires into the earth and then covered them with green piping.
He said "he used green to represent peace and the single yellow feather on top, was GOD"

Tyler - Attached a pink ribbon to his wire to represent "his aunt who had died, so he could remember her" and a long purple ribbon to represent "GOD because we cannot see him"

Megan - Shaped her wires into a heart to "show her love for GOD" (Megan was invited here by a friend. It was her first time here!)

As I write this, I am teary eyed again, because I see all our hard work and dedication to our kids being rewarded. . . our kids DO get it and they LOVE Jesus. They understand what GOD's presence in their lives means and how it makes a difference through their relationships. And most importantly, they ARE listening to GOD. (written by Lisamarie Teeters, Shepherd Team Leader)

Yes, what we do makes a difference.

Good things

He fills my life with good things

. . . moonlight reflecting off the snow
. . . our puppy experiencing snow for the first time
. . . a place to gather with friends and family
. . . tucking my kids into warm flannel sheets
. . . clean water to drink
. . . sounds of silence
. . . a job that I love
. . . coffee by the fireplace
. . . a wonderful husband

I love art, I love creating and making things, so I'm mildly disappointed that my son isn't more interested in art. Surprisingly though he LOVES his art teacher at Paragon. Talks about her, says it's his favorite class, but I never seen anything that really supports his talk.

So I was excited that it was my eight-year-old son, Jeff's turn in the WW art studio this weekend. I had taught the previous weekend in the studio and knew it was an awesome setup. When he came out of the studio he handed me his sculpture and said, "this is stupid," my heart sunk. I glanced at his art piece and had to agree, it was not the most creative thing I've ever seen.

Before I left church Sunday, I grapped a another sculpture base and a few things from the art studio. That evening I got out the paint and all the odds and ends - beads, pipe cleaners, paper, hole punchers, glue - recycling supplies and both kids and I played at the kitchen table. Tentatively Jeff began to paint the base and then we bent the wire. I showed Allie how to put beads on the pipe cleaners and then Jeff tried that as well. Both kids wrote words that described their relationship with God and hung them on their sculpture.

At the end of our play session, both kids felt good about what they had created. Jeff even said he wanted to take his sculpture to school to show his art teacher.

I'm thinking that Jeff is more infatuated (sp?) with his art teacher than he is with the art!

Speak: I'm ready to listen

Speak Lord, I'm ready to listen

This past Sunday I taught in the first and second graders in the K6 Art Studio.

The curriculum this month is the story of Samuel and how in the quietness of the night, he heard God call his name. The art studio is set up with dim lights, soft music, candles, and a large rug and pillows. At the door the kids are invited into this special space. They are asked to take off their shoes and use their quiet voices.

Once all the kids have arrived, we moved to the rug and pillow area for a bedtime story. As Goodnight Moon is read, the kids are encouraged to visualize the green room, the cow jumping over the moon and the little bitty mouse. At the end of the bedtime story, we transitioned into the story of Samuel. The young boy who hears a voice at night, but mistakenly thinks it is his mentor, EIi calling. When Eli realizes that young Samuel is in fact hearing his name called, the old man instructs Samuel to say, “Speak Lord, I am ready to listen.”

At the end of the story the kids are invited to come over to the work tables to create a 3D piece of art. The studio is very quiet and for 40 minutes the kids are focused on their personal creation – cutting, pasting, punching holes, bending, taping and coloring.

The Real Me

me, just me. . .

always restless,
always striving,
always working and wanting more.

sometimes
more stuff, more education, more fitness
more books, more plants, more affirmation, more talent

sometimes
more peace, more silence, more time,
more kids, more faith, more love, more stillness

The Spirit is
also always working, always calling,
always inviting

May I learn to walk in the Spirit's shadow
and respond to my soul's yearnings with gentleness and care.

For all is good,
all is gift and
I am a beginner and always will be
just a beginner on this journey to the heart of God.

Teach Me to Listen

When kids have questions,
they are looking to engage in conversation,
not necessarily solve the problem.

Being present, being available to talk and listen is what is essential. This is very important for parents and those who work with kids. More times than not adults would be more effective, listening to the kids, keeping quiet (not teaching!) and then asking a few good questions with lots of affirmation, “that is a great question. I can tell you have thought a lot about that.”

. . . teach me to listen, O God,
to those nearest me,
my family, my friends, my co-workers.
Help me to be aware that
no matter what words I hear,
the message is,
"Accept the person I am. Listen to me."

Teach me to listen, my caring God,
to those far from me--
the whisper of the hopeless,
the plea of the forgotten,
the cry of the anguished.

Teach me to listen, O God my Mother,
to myself.
Help me to be less afraid
to trust the voice inside --
in the deepest part of me.

Teach me to listen, Holy Spirit,
for your voice --
in busyness and in boredom,
in certainty and in doubt,
in noise and in silence.

Teach me, Lord, to listen. Amen. (adapted by John Veltri, SJ - Hearts on Fire, p30-31)

Trouble in Prayer

Tending the Holy - Katherine Howard, OSB
Seeking & Finding God: Love & Humility in the Benedictine Tradition

"If someone who comes to me is having trouble in prayer, or if I myself am, one important thing to be on the alert for is the character and quality of the interaections and dynamics of daily life. It is neither insignificant nor irrelevant that many people who come for spiritual direction spend a lot of their time reflecting on their relaitonships with spouses, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, teachers, students, neighbors, associates, clients, customers. These relationships tell us much about our relationship with God. Destructure behavior and attitudes toward self and others blind us and cut us off from the goodness of God, the basic goodness of life. Loving and compassionate behavior and attitudes open us to God. Reflecting on these various daily experiences of ours often deepen our gratitiude in prayer or lead us to repentance and compunction."

Big Questions from Little Kids

Quite honestly I have a lot of goals in my life like get a doctorate, become a master gardener, learn yoga, have a great marriage, but one of my top 3 goals include, teaching (guiding, inviting, encouraging) my kids to know and love God. So the podcast titled “The Spirituality of Parenting,” (speakingoffaith.publicradio.com) by Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso definitely caught my attention.

Our kids have big questions about God and life and most of the time there is no place to ask or wonder about them. Even churches are filled with classes that want to teach them about God, but not necessarily listen to them ask their questions about Him.

In the religious education field, (in general) we are very focused on making sure our kids know the right things, know the right information. Quite honestly information alone seldom changes a person. There’s that old saying is “you can give a person a fish and they can eat for a day or you can teach them to fish and they will eat for a life time.” The same is true in religious education. We can give kids the 5 steps to “accept Jesus” into your heart and life or we can help and guide kids to discover Jesus for themselves.

Self-discovery and mastery builds a child’s inner-confidence. It affirms that he/she is a component individual and contributes to his/her community. These attributes of confidence and competency empowers a child to continue to seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, God the Father and Creator and the Spirit.

Rabbi Sasso says that by the age of 5 all kids have a concept of God, whether or not they can verbalize it. If we don’t engage their questions, they will stop asking. Sofia Cavalletti, a Roman Catholic theologian, tells the story about a little girl who was raised in a nonreligious home, with her atheist father. Repeatedly the little girl asked about how the world came into being, and the father’s answer consistently reflected his worldview, it’s all by chance and accident. Time and time again this little girl asked the same question (drives you nuts!) and finally the father probably weary, this time replied, “well some people believe that God was involved with the world’s creation.” The little girl began to excitedly jump around, saying, “Yes, I knew it was Him.”

When kids have questions, they are looking to engage in conversation, not necessarily solve the problem. Talking is what is essential. This is very important for parents and those who work with kids. More times than not adults would be more effective, listening to the kids, keeping quiet (not teaching!) and then asking a few good questions with lots of affirmation, “that is a great question. I can tell you have thought a lot about that.”

These times with our kids are sacred moments.

Walking in Grace

One of the most liberating and transformative moments in my spiritual journey came while I was the director of faith-based early childhood education program. One of my employees had falsified some state documents and I needed to address the issue. As I mentally prepared to talk to her, some of my own issues re-surfaced. “How could I confront and hold this Christian employee accountable, when I had done _______?” Even though I had prayed for forgiveness, I still carried the guilt with me.

I “inherited” my assistant when I took this new position. Sharon was about 10 years older than me, a mom of 3 boys and married to a man who was a minister at another church. For over 5 years, we shared a small 10x15 office space and became great friends. I loved and respected Sharon very much.

Before I met with my employee to confront her deception, I sat down with Sharon. I shared my “secret story” with her. Sharon accepted my “secret” with love and tenderness. There was no disappointment or condemnation, only acceptance. From that day on Sharon never mentioned that conversation again. Knowing this “secret” about me, she never treated me differently.

Each day I walked in grace and was transformed.

Telling Your Story

Providing space or a place for someone to tell their story is one of the roles of a spiritual director. In the very process of telling your story to someone, of putting your story into words, amazingly you often sees things more clearly or from a different perspective.

There have been numerous times as I’ve met with my spiritual director that I look at her and say, “this is the first time I’ve spoken this thought or idea out loud” or “this is the first time I’ve made that connection.”

Friends who are good listeners also gift others with this kind of “space” to be.