Being Allie's Mom

Since the seminar on adoption parenting, I’ve been paying closer attention to Allie’s comments. For example twice in the last week or so, she has asked me what would happen if I died? What would happen to her and Jeff?

When she initially asked this question, I simply attributed it to the fact that two close friends of mine have recently passed away. In fact even though Allie knows Kris and Randy have died she continues to faithfully pray for them at dinner. Initially I corrected her explaining she no longer needed to pray for them. So for a day or two she suspended her prayers, but quickly picked up on them again. I’ve decided to let her pray. Maybe in the innocence of a 5 year old, she knows something about prayer that I don’t.

I don’t think that Allie’s comments about dying are that unusual particularly in light of the recent deaths in our family’s circle. But I am more aware that issues of loss/grief/rejection/abandonment could also be lurking beneath the surface.

“Create a safe emotional place for your kids” was the best advice Cindy gave. If we talk openly and appropriately about Allie’s birth mom, her China Momma, she will know it is OK to talk about her.

You're Invited to Love Shack

Over the last several months you have heard the guys – Dave, Ben & JVo – talk a lot about taking a next step in your spiritual journey, getting involved and growing in your faith.

Congratulations! Whether you know it or not, serving in WWKids’ Journey is one type of involvement the guys have been talking about. Each of you play an important role in WWKids’ Journey and I want to thank you for that commitment.

Since you are already serving in Kids, your next step may be different than someone else’s step. Perhaps your next step is to begin to attend Love Shack, WW’s monthly leadership meeting. Love Shack meets the first Monday of each month. Our next meeting is May 4 from 6:30-8:00p.

Love Shack is where you hear what’s up and coming around WW. You’ll meet a core group of people who love WW and call it their home. You’ll be able to ask questions and meet the elders and new deacons.

Step up your commitment at WW and join me and others at Love Shack this Monday, May 4 from 6:30-8:00p at the church. Childcare is provided.

Love Shack is also available via ustreamTV (connect through our website Westwinds.org) and as a podcast, but you miss all the fun of being together if you don’t come.

God Takes the Time to Do Everything Right

Isaiah 30:15-18 (The Message)
15-17"Your salvation requires you to turn back to me
and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.

Your strength will come from settling down
in complete dependence on me—

The very thing you've been unwilling to do.
You've said, 'Nothing doing! We'll rush off on horseback!'
You'll rush off, all right! Just not far enough!
You've said, 'We'll ride off on fast horses!'
Do you think your pursuers ride old nags?
Think again: . . .

18 But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you.
He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

Lori Ann –When you’re stressed you often fall back into old patterns of self-reliance. You insist that you can do everything yourself – work, school, family, housework, meals, etc. Not only is that way of thinking prideful and arrogant, it fills me with sadness.

Just relax and trust me! I love to help you. Let me hold you in my arms, like the Good Shepherd does for his little lambs. Me, you know me. I’m your father. I love you more than anyone else. I take care of you every day and I promise to provide everything you need for today and the next 2 weeks. You lack for nothing!

You have a choice. You can be stressed out and bring that anxious presence into your daily circumstances and relationships OR you can wait for me, settle down and let me provide for you. I’m not going to lie to you. Most likely you will get all your work done either way you chose – My way or your way. The difference will be our relationship at the end of these 2 weeks. Will you have grown closer to me or pulled away from me?

Just like the daddy in Mark 9, “I believe, help my unbelief.” Help me choose You.

In the wwKiD’s art studio this month the kids painted pictures of how they imagined Jesus. Using water color paint and learning how to create shadows with dark and light tones, the kids came up with Jesus with a goatee; pierced ears; tattoos; bald; long hair; short hair; curly hair, etc.

When their images were done, the kids read Luke 23.26-24.12 and looked for clues that might help them understand that Jesus was who he said he was – the son of God. After looking at the Luke account, the kids were asked to answer the question from John 11.26 “Jesus said I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die? Do you believe this?” Based on the kid’s answer they wrote their response under their Jesus drawing.

Last weekend after reading the Luke scripture several of the 3rd/4th graders said they didn’t know if they were ready to say “I believe.” Fortunately the studio teacher affirmed where the kids were spirituality. She did not try to convince them of the “right answer” nor make them uncomfortable. Rather she encouraged the kids to ask God to show them, trusting the Spirit to lead and guide our kids to the Truth.

I love that we – the leaders – are beginning to understand we are merely the “reeds of God” in which His Spirit flows through.

Being Allie's Mom

Seven themes of adoption:
Loss Rejection Guilt/shame Grief Control Identity Intimacy

Research shows that regardless of how old your child was when you adopted, these 7 themes will emerge at some time.

My friend Cindy (Dr. Cindy Koenigsknecht) shared different approaches of parenting adopted kids. The information was so helpful and insightful into my own parenting journey of Allie. Conversations that I need to initiate with Allie so she knows she can talk about her “China Momma.”

I left the meeting with several concrete ways I can be more aware of Allie’s “triggers.” I feel like I can better respond in ways that will touch some of her core needs. That’s pretty impressive, coming from an introverted processer that needs at least 2 hours to 5 days to sort through information!

For more info about parenting an adopted child, check out "Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections." If you are interested in networking with other families who have adopted, let me know.

I'm not the same

I am creating a second mandala (or piece of art) as part of my final project for my spiritual direction program. The five areas or themes in my mandala will represent the following. . .

1. Life experiences – identify 3 significant experiences that have shaped and formed who I am today
2. Emotional dynamics – how have I matured, grown and developed as a human
3. Images of God – how does my personal understanding of the image of God shape my spiritual life
4.Theological themes – how and in what areas has my theology changed and grown
5. Spiritual mentor -- how has Mother Teresa’s life and spirituality shaped me

I am not the same person I was 5 years ago.

How are you growing? How would answer these questions for yourself?

Faith is a journey into darkness,
into not-knowing." ~Richard Rohr

Holy Saturday

HOLY SATURDAY
Question of the day: How does one embrace the time of waiting before resurrection?

To be a Christian means to be an optimist because we know what happened on the third day. We know that it worked, that Jesus' leap of faith was not in vain. His trust was not in vain, and the Father raised him up.

He trusted enough to outstare the darkness, to outstare the void, to wait upon the resurrection of the third day, not to try to create his own but to wait upon the resurrection of God.

Good Friday inevitably comes into every life. So does Holy Saturday. What is given to God is always returned transformed. That is the eternal third day that we forever await.

LT: I find it so encouraging for my soul to know that Jesus was completely human. And even though he was completely God, Jesus still had to trust his Father. It wasn't "oh I'm God's son, I got it all figured it."

The relationship between Father and Son is real. It involves trust, love, submission, "My Father, what do you want?" (Matt. 26.39) - isn't that the same question Jesus asked the bling guy, Bartimaeous "what do you want?" And in Matt. 26.42 Jesus says "I'm ready. Do it your way."

Jesus' leap of faith strengthens and encourages me in my journey.

(Daily mediations from Richard Rohr - CAC) Wish to sign up for CAC's email lists yourself? Subscribe to CAC email listsCopyright © 2009 Center for Action and ContemplationPO Box 12464, Albuquerque, NM 87195-2464 (505)242-9588

Yvonne is a Art leader in the K6 Experience Studios at Westwinds Church. She is being transformed as she serves others.

Spiritual Awakening

"The day of my spiritual awakening,"
says the beguine mystic, Mechtild of Magdeburg (1210-1280),
"was the day I saw and knew I saw
all things in God and God in all things."

Albert Nolan, a Dominican priest from South Africa, is the author of Jesus Today: A Spirituality of Radical Freedom. Not many people address the developmental, spirituality or maturing process of Jesus - who was both fully human and God.

This book is a great end-read after 4 years of studying with Marywood Dominican Center. In some ways I wish I had read it first, but then again I may not have been ready to receive what it had to say.

Serenity

Are there ways for gauging one's spiritual strength?
Many
Give us one.
FInd out how often you become disturbed in the course of a single day.
-- Anthony DeMello

Kentucky - Sacred Places

Gray's Arch - a sacred place for me.

Landscapes of the Sacred

"To Have Been One with the Earth
"Nature in Contemporary Christian Mystical Experience, Janet Ruffing, PhD., RSM
. . .findings from a research project that explored individuals experiences in nature.

Repondents described both small and large epiphanies when they talked about their experiences of God in nature. . .Because for them nature is surch a profound and consistent sacrament of God's presence, they sometimes struggled for words in an effort to avoid the language of pantheism. They experienced themselves in ever deeper inter-communion with themselves, the natural world, the human community and the divine presence. God was clearly dwelling within and disclosing God's self through each of these realms of experience. They expressed gratitude both for the presence of God they enjoyed and for the places which had become their pariticular landscapes of the sacred.

Kentucky - Sacred Places

Kentucky is where I went to seminary. During those few short years in Kentucky. . .

I began to heal from the oppressive “religious” standards I placed on myself;
I began to understand my relationship with Jesus;
I began to learn what was community;
I learned to ask good questions (thank you Dr. Joy)
I was introduced to the concept of moving towards God vs the black/white concept of you’re in or out with God (thank you Darrell Whiteman, for laying the foundation to Ignatius spirituality) and
I fell in LOVE with the Red River Gorge region.

In the forest and on the trails of the Red River Gorge, the Spirit touched my soul. While in Kentucky I was frequently drawn to the Gorge, sometimes with friends and sometimes alone. I would write, draw, think and enjoy the deep silence of the forest.

It had been at least six years since I had last visited the Gorge and Jeff’s spring break was coming up. I felt that deep yearning to be in the woods, to hike, to smell the sandy soil and hear the wind whip across the ridges. So three years ago when Jeff was 6 years old, I took him to Kentucky and introduced him to some of my sacred places in the forest.

That’s where we are tonight, in Kentucky. We hiked to Gray’s Arch, Angels Windows and Natural Bridge, checked out Nada Tunnel and the suspension bridge. He was dirty and stinky: now he is clean, pooped out and asleep.

I placed some significant roots down during my brief time in Kentucky. Spiritual roots that have continued to deepen over the last 15 years.

It is good. It is well with my soul.