Being Allie's Mom

Since the seminar on adoption parenting, I’ve been paying closer attention to Allie’s comments. For example twice in the last week or so, she has asked me what would happen if I died? What would happen to her and Jeff?

When she initially asked this question, I simply attributed it to the fact that two close friends of mine have recently passed away. In fact even though Allie knows Kris and Randy have died she continues to faithfully pray for them at dinner. Initially I corrected her explaining she no longer needed to pray for them. So for a day or two she suspended her prayers, but quickly picked up on them again. I’ve decided to let her pray. Maybe in the innocence of a 5 year old, she knows something about prayer that I don’t.

I don’t think that Allie’s comments about dying are that unusual particularly in light of the recent deaths in our family’s circle. But I am more aware that issues of loss/grief/rejection/abandonment could also be lurking beneath the surface.

“Create a safe emotional place for your kids” was the best advice Cindy gave. If we talk openly and appropriately about Allie’s birth mom, her China Momma, she will know it is OK to talk about her.