Twittering Ignatius

TIME magazine did an article on twittering - in the church. They took photos at Westwinds a couple of weeks ago. Here's Dave McDonald teaching at the Winds. Look for the June 1 issue of Time.

JVo our other lead pastor at the Winds is a modern day prophet, either that a just a little boy at home who is competitive and wants to be first all of the time! Seriously 15 months ago he was on this new technology, he wanted all 5 of us staff members to ditch email and communicate strictly by twittering. As much as I love and respect JVo I wasn't buying it. My thoughts are who the heck cares what I am doing? Do I twitter that I'm taking a potty break? Sounded stupid to me.

Then I got an iPhone and began to connect with some other people from the church. Then I began to follow some notable people like authors Don Miller and Len Sweet. They have some interesting things to say somedays.

Lately I've been using twitter as kinda an Ignatius exman. (Not that anyone knows that it what I am doing) In the morning I ususally throw out to my twitter community a comment like: Everything that happens today has the potential to draw me into a deeper relationship with God. At the end of the day I often close with a comment like: What today has drawn you closer to God? What was drawn you away from God? Where did you notice the Spirit moving in your life today?

I'm not looking for people to respond back to me, just trying to help others become more reflective and aware of what is happening in themselves and around them. It helps me personally and hopefully it touches someone's life.

If you are into twittering or want follow me if you want on www.twitter.com loritate

Allie

Allie - making sports fashion statement

Remembering Gotcha' Day

Allie referral Allie & nanny Allie & me

Remembering is an important part of the journey. Remembering key points and transitional moments. Some memories are painful, some are joyful, but all are a part of my story. Remembering how God intervened and acted on my behalf. The Bible is filled with verses that encourage us to don’t forget, remember.

Today is an important day in our family. We remember the day that I met Tong Min-Min, aka Allison Min-Joy.

Prior to gotcha’ day we had a couple of photos of Tong Min-Min. We didn’t know when the photos were taken or how old she was. I remember that they weren’t really beautiful pictures, but precious since they were the only visual image we had of our soon-to-be daughter.

May 24, 2004 the vans from Tongling that were bringing our daughters was scheduled to arrive at the hotel by 9:30 but didn’t get there until almost 11. So for a 1.5 hours 12 families waited around anxious, nervous, excited beyond belief. I remember it being very surreal, like I was watching someone else experience this day.

When I’m anxious I tend to be quiet and process things. I remember thinking, what if I didn’t recognize my daughter? Would she look like the referral photos or would she look different? How would she respond to me? I looked so different from the dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin of the Chinese. How would I know which child was mine? Surely I would know my own daughter?

Around 11 we got word that a Tongling van arrived. A couple of nannies came in with little girls. I remember look at them and then asking Deb (my sister) do you think that is her (Allie) or is she this one? We waited another agonizing half hour for the other van to arrive with the other children. All the while I’m asking Deb and Chelsea (my niece) if they thought this child or that child was Tong Min-Min.

I remember Ike pointing out Tong Min-Min and realizing that she was one of the first girls brought into the room. She was sitting on her nanny’s lap, wearing a red jacket. I remember feeling bad that I did not recognize her.

When it was time to formally meet Allie, I remember feeling pain as we literally pulled her from the arms of her nanny. The zipper on her red jacket was stuck and we struggled to get it off her. The more we worked to remove the jacket, the more Allie cried. I remember sweat dripping down my down. I just wanted to get the stupid jacket off and escape to the privacy of my hotel room. I wanted cut the jacket, but the nanny insisted no, she wanted the red jacket returned so she could use it at the orphanage.

I remember how Allie would hold her hand/arm (see above picture) when we was scared. Every once in a while I catch her doing that similar thing even today.

Gotcha' day as the best of times and the worst of times. Terror and joy together, but something I would never change.

A Mom's Gift

While you were a little baby in your mommy’s tummy she was always with you. When she went outside you were there; when she ate food, you were there. You were always together and the beat of her heart was comforting to you.

You and your mom were so close that her heart beat became your heart beat. Now there are two heart beats. Now whenever you hear your heart beat, you know that you are hearing the beat of my mom’s heart. That’s a gift only your mom can give.

My spiritual director mentor, Sister Joy, shared this story with a young child whose mother had passed away. I thought it was a beautiful way for me to talk with my daughter about her China birth mom. Allie's "gotcha day" is a couple of days away. Gotcha day is when I met and received our daughter into our family.

Jeff got Baptised

May 17, 2009

Jeff got baptised!

It's been a cool but humbling experience to journey
with Jeff.

Love that kid!

Extraordinary Week @ least for me

Sunday my 9-year old son is getting baptised and
I have the priviledge of baptising him and two other women this morning.
Tuesday, my mom & dad's friend will be released from prison after serving 44 years. This guy was 17 years old, drunk and high, when he murdered the elderly woman who lived besided him.
Thursday, Jeff has a gold card day (day off) and I'm going to surprise him and go see "Star Trek"
Friday, I get my garden plot plowed - YEA, more work! I love it though.
Friday, home with the kids, getting ready for our son, Andy to come visit for the weekend.
Saturday, we will celebrate my daughter's fourth anniversay of "Gotcha Day". On May 23,2004 in Heifi, Anhui (China) I saw and met my daughter Tong Min-Min for the first time.
I'm taking off this weekend (Thursday-Monday), five days off to be with my family!

Blessed.

Ordinary Day

Three out of the last four weekends I've been in class or trainings, taking up both my Friday evenings and Saturdays. Working on Sundays have left little time for my family. After my class last weekend, the kids and I played hookie on Monday. I had the day off and they stayed home from school, it was a mental health day for me! My mental health needed a break and an ordinary day home with the kids

I've made some adjustments this week. Back at Curves exercising, cooked some healthy meals, played outside in the garden. These are some healthy lifestyle choices that have gotten slighted out of alignment these past couple of weeks as I finished up school.

So I'm enjoying Saturday morning, the rain and quietness. We have things to do today, soccer, a plant sale, yard work, etc. but at least we are home together. Maybe we'll grill out for dinner. Caring for my family, providing healthy meals has become very important to me.

Mother Teresa always told her workers that love begins at home. If you can't love your family, don't come and try to love and serve the poor. Real love begins at home.

I've only felt this way a couple of times

There have only been a few days in my life that I have this feeling.
The feeling like I am saying goodbye to a huge part of my life, I’m sad, I'm a bit apprehensive, but I know that it’s good
I know that my life is about to change significantly.
My stomach feels weird.

I felt this way
. . . as I graduated from Grand Valley and drove away
. . . as I drove out of Detroit, leaving my corporate EDS job to go to seminary in Kentucky
. . . the morning I got married to Randy
. . . the day my OBGYN said “be at the hospital tonight” they induced labor and Jeff was born

. . . the surreal day that I met my daughter Allison Min-Joy for the first time, May 23, 2005
and now this past weekend.

This past weekend was my last time with my spiritual direction cohorts after being together for 2 years. These four women have taught me so much about being a woman of God, about being a daughter, a friend, a wife/mom and a pastor. Their own journey and unique struggles have pushed me further in my own relationships and with Jesus. Sometimes one of them would verbalize a doubt or fear that would totally resonate with me; other times they shared a new self-awareness that prompted me to look deeper into myself.

I will miss our monthly weekends together, which were more like mini-retreats. I will miss the community of learning, loving, listening to God and becoming who the Father has created each of us to uniquely become, but I trust the process. The process of transformation – a paschal mystery – which requires something to die in order for new life to grow.

This season of my life is over and a new season will emerge, with different companions, challenges and graces to learn. There’ll be new books to read just because I want to; new gardens to design and plant; new recipes to try, etc. While I am sad, I am well, because I believe that everything has the potential of drawing me deeper into my relationship with God.

Walking into the Darkness

I was outside the other morning around 5 with the dog. Typically I stand in the front yard where there is a small light, but this particularly morning it was warm, the stars were out and it was incredibly clear. I walked into backyard. I consciously chose to walk into the darkness.

I walked cautiously towards the back pond aware that obstacles such as deer, skunks, animal doodoo, etc can be found my backyard. My sight adjusted to the darkness and I could see fairly well. I relied on my hearing more and also the dog’s hearing.

Initially I was uncomfortable, uneasy walking into the dark backyard, but as my senses adjusted to the new environment and I began to trust myself, I grew more confident being in the darkness – in my uncomfortableness. (Sounds like Psalms 23)

Our society tells us that we should not be uncomfortable. Something is wrong if you are uncomfortable, so self-medicate by eating, drinking, spending, or taking another pill, it’ll help you feel better. I am not against medication for depression, mental illness, etc. but sometimes we don’t want to feel anything uncomfortable.

I’ve been uncomfortable, uneasy these last couple of weeks. It’s taken me quite a while to become aware of what could be contributing to this particular season. Things like my class is coming to an end and I have very mixed emotions about it, plus a ton of work; another person at WW was diagnosised with cancer; another one’s cancer treatment didn’t get it all; my friends marriage is going through rough times; I miss my friends Kris and Randy; I have 2 big new initiatives happening in wwKiDs.

I think I’m in a transition period. I’ve been at WW almost 3 years and I’m finishing my DMin. Not knowing exactly what is “next” can cause anxiety, if I let it.

Being uncomfortable is not bad. For me once I figure out what I’m feeling – uncomfortable, uncertain, confused, sadness – I’m better able to “hold” those feelings. I find myself being more gentle with myself and giving myself some extra grace. In this special time of grace, I can listen to the Spirit and discern what’s next.

Mysteriously the uncomfortableness is no longer a place of anxiety, a place to leave but rather becomes a place of anticipation and hope as I trust the Spirit to continue to direct me. It’s part of my journey.

It is well with my soul

The more I learn the less I know.
I have more questions, yet surprisingly more peace.
The further I journey, the deeper I move into the mystery of His Love.
I am ok being uncomfortable.
I am ok not having the all the answers (smile).
I am ok.
I am at peace.
It is well with my soul.