More than Entertainment Focused Kids Programs

Great story about the Connection Studio, a 4,5 & K class Westwinds Church in Jackson, Michigan, where I used to be the kids pastor. The Connection Studio used Sonja Steward and Jerome Berryman's "Young Children in Worship" curriculum.

This story is from Sarah who both taught in the Connection Studio and had a young daughter in the class.

The school started doing "Book It" program where kids earn a free personal pizza for reading so much. Ryan, now in first grade, loves reading so she decided she would read her Bible for Book It. Tuesday evening she was in the yard reading her Bible and I noticed that she kept putting it down, so I went out to see what she was doing. When I asked her she replied, "Ugh, mom, didn't you know that when you read the Bible you are supposed to stop, think about it and then pray?"

I am so thankful for the people who invested in our kids at Westwinds Church; who believed that kids can connect to God and didn't need to be "entertained" to learn about God. God meets us in silence, in play, in nature, in literature, in relationships. Our kids ability and desire for repetition is inate.

It's no wonder that our kids who have been brought up with entertainment focused programs, seek entertainment based "big people's" church when they grow up.
. . . Just saying

New Beginnings

Since leaving Westwinds on January 15, my constant prayer and desire has been, "God, let me provide for my family and use the gifts I've been given." Since we don't understand God's ways, our answers to prayer often look different than what we anticipate. But thanks be to God, He does far more than we can ever imagine or even dream of asking.

As this time the doors to a steady 9-5 job have remained closed. Hoever, opportunites to provide spiritual direction, to teach COR300 (a spiritual formation college course), to provide teaching for church elders and leaders, to teach a montly class called Soul Dig, to write kids' curriculum and to clean houses have been abundant.

Go figure, I'm back to cleaning houses! I started when I was 10 years old and now though I'm considerably older, still find it to be good, well paying, mindless, task-driven work which I seriously enjoy! Crazy but true!

Through conenctions that only God could orchestrate I was offered affordable office space in which I could provide spiritual direction and small classes. I'm finally beginning to believe that this is how God is answering my prayer to provide for my family and use my gifts. I am stepping out on faith and opening an office for my Soul Dig:Creating space for God ministry at 429 W. Michigan Ave., Suite 200, Jackson, Michigan.

My goal is to have office 80 percent complete by Saturday, October 27. That is the day I will be hosting my first Soul Dig workshop called, "The Unforced Rhythms of Grace," which looks at Jesus' prayer life and practices.

    p e a c e

 

 

Songs of Allie

My 8 year daughter, Allie loves to write songs and sing. She asked me one day if I had any songs. I pulled out my Bible (The Message translation) and showed her the Psalms. I told her these are songs that David wrote. Maybe you will find some words in here. She looked through my Bible which numerous things marked and she is what she found.

"Show me how you work God.
Take me by the hand.
Lead me down the path of truth." (this was her chorus, sung 3x)

Plan only the best for me God.
Every road I travel will take me to God

(NOTE: if you don't have the Message translation of the Bible, you can check out this scripture on Biblegateway.com)

I am a teacher

The other day I was picking up a few things for the Soul Dig class. As I checked out the attendant asked if I was a teacher. I hesistated and said, "yes, I am a teacher."

What a statement of proclaimation. I am a teacher.

A tribute to Randy Shafer

I moved to Jackson Michigan 6 years ago to work with an incredible Godly man, named Randy Shafer. He had a unique vision for spiritual formation/development that connected with the soul work the Spirit was leading me towards. Within 3 months of moving here, Randy was diagnosed with cancer and I never really had the chance to work closely with him. He passed away in December 2008 and his vision also died. This was a thank you note I wrote to Randy before he passed away.
Randy's friendship, though it was very brief, changed my life.

“Our only desire and our one choice should be this
I want and I choose what better leads me to
God’s deepening his life in me.”

While this statement may be reflective of other people at WW, you live it in a way that is uniquely yours and your way drew me to you. I desired to be with you and learn from you because I instinctively knew it would connect to my soul and change my life.

Thank you for encouraging me to pursue my DMin degree in Spiritual Direction.
Thank you for helping me think creatively about the different learning styles and environments which is the foundation of the K6 Experience Studios.
Thank you for encouraging me to check out the Godly Play and other similar programs. (Timing is everything; I’m still working with that material and hopefully will make some big changes in the preschool age program during 2009.)

Randy the way you live life, is a source of encouragement and challenge to me. The Spirit can influence and guide us only to the extent we are in touch with our inner self. You have had the courage to personally journey inward and in turn have challenged me to go deeper and to answer the tough inner questions for myself. That is living a reflective life.  

Through you I have learned that God is always present, I just need to become aware of him. You have helped me learn to look for Jesus in ALL places, people and circumstances. You helped me learn that “everything is sacred” – my time with my kids, a walk in the woods, lunch time, encounters with people serving the public --  not just moments that happen in the church building, with other Christians, or discussing Bible things. This deeper understanding of my Christian spirituality has totally changed how I live my life.

I had the opportunity to create a mandala and for one hour I got to “play” with a three cent paper plate and a couple of markers. At the end, I was asked to “hold” my mandala and pray with it over this next month. I was encouraged to hear the message that it shared, reassured that there is no right or wrong answer or explanation for my mandala. Here are my reflections:

I’ve looked at the mandala over the last couple of weeks. I’ve turned it around and wondered at the strong bold line and the twisting green branches. I’ve noticed the repetition of circles or circular edges. At the beginning of this part of my spiritual journey, I was concerned that I was moving away from God, that this mysterious, foreign way for me of approaching God would ultimately “require” me to choose something else over Jesus.

My mandala expresses a journey that started with Jesus, my heart’s desire. The journey has pushed the boundaries of my understanding of God. In fact I realize that understanding God is less important than loving Him and accepting His love for me. Some of my understandings have deepened and others are completely new. I feel like I’ve met the Holy Spirit for the first time.

My mandala represents the cycle of leaving and arriving; dying and growing; going in to the desert and returning to community a changed person. My mandala design continues to the back of the circle and ultimately ends back at the center, back at the heart. The image reminds me of an egg waiting to be fertilized. A new creation, a new life is being formed. The new creation is my true-self; the true image of Lori Ann Mero Tate, the precious daughter of our Father, Creator God.

Someone I know said. . . . there is much to say, but few words. . . . thank you. I love you.
And not that you care. . . but I quote you all the time. J

Your friend and fellow sojourner – Lori Tate

Thoughts on kids & prayer

I love the movies, "Anne of Green Gables." Early in the series Marilla, Anne's adoptive mother, is teaching her how to pray. Anne is instructed to kneel next to her bed, fold her hands, bow her head and close her eyes. She then proceeds to "pray" like she is writing a letter to her grandpa and ends her prayer with, "sincerely yours, Anne  - with an 'e'."

When Marilla expresses her concern about Anne's prayer style, Anne quickly replies, "I don't like it either. Why do I have to bow my head and kneel when I pray? I imagine praying out in the big open field under the blue sky, imagining it was a great cathedral built to honor God. I would life my face and my hands and sing."As Anne speaks she begins to twirl around her arms lifted up.

Marilla quickly stops Anne with a stern, "Stop that nonsense and get into bed."

I love kids' innocence and spontaneity especially as they respond to God.
How sad that as adults we often squelch their expressions of love because we don't have time for that "nonsense."

Parenting is a sacred journey. We will not be perfect parents, but let us be aware and present to the work God is doing in our kids' souls. Parenting is a time when we can re-enter the innocence of childhood through our kids, if we take the time to be silly with them.

Allison Min-Joy Tate aka Allie,

She is full of life
   Allie doesn’t walk --- she does cartwheels and dances
   Allie doesn’t just talk --- she write songs and sings to you
   Allie doesn’t read her books --- she sings the words and makes up a song
   Allie’s smile is priceless!

We love to hear Allie laugh and giggle.
She has a great imagination and it is fun to listen to her when she plays.

Allie is a good artist. She likes to draw and make cards to send to people.
Allie is a competitive opponent. She likes to play Scrabble, Nerts, and Marbles. She doesn’t like to loss.

Allie and her brother Jeff like to play basketball with their dad.

Allie is very loving and caring. She asks lots of questions and wants to know why things are the way that they are.

The Wonder of the Monarch Butterfly

This is the fourth year we have raised monarch butterflies. The first year we got the caterpillars from the Dalhem Center, but since then we have just gone out to our pond and found them on milkweed.

We have raised and successfully released 5 or 6 butterflies, but we have also lost them at all different stages. This year one of the caterpillars went into the “J” position but never formed its cocoon and died; one formed the cocoon but it dried out and died; one emerged from the cocoon but its wing was damaged and died.

This year Allie let the butterfly climb on her. I wanted to take photos, so I asked Allie to carry the newly emerged butterfly to the plant. She hates bugs so I was very surprised she agreed to “help” me this way. I've learned that by asking kids to help me, I can get them to do try something that may be uncomfortable. Allie was surprised at how the butterfly clung to her finger, she said that it even tickled.

Being spiritual is the ability to be constantly amazed. I can’t think of anything more amazing than observing the total transformation of a little worm like-creature into a beautiful, graceful butterfly.

A prayer for you

Praying the Spirit will flow through you today –
                  as you speak, teach, lead -
         may others experience our Father’s
                  grace and love,
                  hope and peace
                                    as they encounter you.

Following your morning ministry
                  I pray you will rest in the arms of our Father
                  and receive a new all you have graciously given to others. Amen.

LONGING: wanting more

More. I wanted more.
Our society cultivates that desire within me. Catalogs and magazines show me the new colors to paint my walls, new clothes to buy, new places to travel, etc. What you have is never enough, so work hard to get more.

There is a problem here. I’m not supposed to want more. I love Jesus and know the scriptures. I know that material things will never satisfy. I know that I need to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and everything else falls into place.”

So to not appear materialistic, I work on being healthier by exercising, gardening, and cooking healthy foods. I read. I research new time management skills because my old ones are outdated and my life still feels chaotic. I simplify my household and get more organized - iPhone, iPad, gadgets to help me organize my life that is crammed full of things.

When I want more of Jesus, I just “apply” the world’s remedy in that area. More of Jesus means more “spiritual things” like reading the Bible more, praying more, serving more, giving more, more self-sacrificing, more hours at church, etc.

After years of dealing with an eating disorder I refused to go to a Christian counselor, because I felt they would tell me, “You just need to trust Jesus more.” But I had tried the “more Jesus” route and was left feeling defeated, tired and worthless. No matter how many “Jesus” activities I did nothing brought me joy or peace.

                          Where is the abundant life that Jesus talked about?                   Does it really exist?                                         How do you find it?

Jesus said in Matthew 11.28-30 ^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

I want to live this way.
I want my kids to learn live this way.
I want to "keep company" with Jesus and live freely.

Receive Jesus' blessing today.

Parenting - a sacred pathway

On Father's Day I read an article about Tom Izzo, MSU's basketball coach. He said that his coaching style or approach has changed over the years, especially since he became a dad. Being a dad has given Tom a different perspective on the "boys" on his basketball team.

For some we just transfer the business skills we have acquired into some form of parenting. We create goals, objectives and endless "To Do" lists for ourselves and kids. We measure our success as parents based on how full our kids' days are. God forbid that our kids would ever be "bored."

What if God wants to use this period of our lives to transform us? What if being a parent could really draw you closer to God? What if the best thing you could do for your kids is to throw away the "To Do" list?

Take a few minutes to reflect on how you have already changed since you have become a parent. If you are not a parent, how have your interactions with kids changed your perspective on things?

Being Present

Restless.

I want to be somewhere else. Settled. Knowing. Plans. Schedule.
But that is not where I am at.

We - meaning I - have this distorted idea that arriving at our destination is "it" or accomplishing our goal is the end. But actually it is the process, the journey and what takes place during that time that shapes and transforms us.

People often ask, "where do you want to be in life?" Most of the time we think out into the future and name some goal. What if we simply answered, "I want to be where I am at."

Today my prayer is to be present. (Isn't that my prayer everyday?)
Be aware -
To love and be present with my kids
To notice the beautiful leaf Allie shows me
To stop and investigate a new catepillar on my plant
I am where God wants me to be. I want to receive and enjoy His blessing and not wish for something else.

Allie just got up and is sitting on my lap. I'm going to enjoy some moments with my daughter.

The Language of God

After reading Acts 2:1-11 [describing Pentecost] with a group of 9-year olds, the catechist asked, "How could people from so many different places all understand the apostles?"
A young boy replied, "Because when you speak with God there is only one language, and they were all speaking the language of God."

What language does God speak? Spanish, Chinese, Arabic, German, tongues, ASL, etc. These are the typical adult answers which are concrete and observable. So how is it that a 9-year old kid has such profound insight into the Almighty God? Even in our highly technical world of play, perhaps kids’ hearts are less cluttered and can still hear God speak in their hearts.

God is speaking. He has signposts along our pathways.
Can you hear Him speaking? Do you know the language of God?

Parenthood is a Sacred Path

Daily life is God's curriculum to draw me closer to Him. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Everything has the potential to bring me closer to Him, if I allow it.

Sometimes as inexperienced parents we feel that our new mom and dad responsibilities distract us from our relationship with God. Yes, our relationship dynamics change but our children are not "distractions" from God. Parenting is a sacred path. It is a spiritual discipline.

If you are feeling guilty or anxious that you haven't _____________ (fill in the blank - read your Bible, prayed, etc.) remember that our daily life is God's curriculum. It's the lessons He has planned/allowed to teach you what you need.

My spiritual life has and continues to be completely transformed because of my kids. If I allow God to use them, I learn lesson every day from them.

       If you listen to God, you open your heart.
       If you don't listen to God, you close your heart.
       Open your heart.
                         Allie's quote (age 8)

Parenthood is an invitation to holiness.

How is God using your kids to draw you closer to Him?

Proclaiming Aloud

Long before our kids utter their first word we constantly talk to them. Language is learned through modeling and imitation. Faith is also like that.

Sometimes we don't completely understand or believe the things we say. We are not lying and the words are not worthless. The spoken word can be both a proclaimation and an inviation of things to come.

Jesus told the father who asked Him to heal his son, "Everything is possible with God." The father replied, "I believe, but help me overcome my unbelief." (Mark 8.24)

The spoken word is powerful.
          So today I proclaim Psalm 25.7
                    PLAN only the Best for me God

How awesome
    that sitting under a tree
    reading and napping
         is actually spiritual?

I used to think I was being lazy!

Jesus said, "Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. . . Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." Matthew 11.28 (The Message)

In my world, the fast don't eat the slow. The fast are just fast. The slow rest in Me and wait in complete dependence on me.

If you listen to God,
     you open your heart.
If you don't listen to God,
     you close your heart.

Open your heart.

Allie quote - age 8

Our kids have some much to teach us if we open our hearts. Jesus said, "Unless you become like one of these kids, you will not enter the kingdom of God."

Allie - Rock Star of the Week at Paragon

Can I trust myself?

When my friend said, "Trust yourself," every red flag I had immediately went up.

I grew up with a Biblical understanding (I thought) that I could not trust myself, I could not trust feelings but rather needed to trust what I "know" rather than what I "felt." Feelings change, you can't trust them. The heart is deceitful. This foundational teaching aligned with my personality, I didn't like highly emotional, excitable people!

Note in fairness to my teachers, I was young and what I took away from the teaching may have not been what they intened. None the less, I have always been "suspicious" of overly "feelly" people.

Today the phrase "trust myself" does not cause the same intense reactions it did several years ago.
I recognize God's Spirit working in me
and I trust her.
I trust myself.
I have confidence in myself
not arrogant, not prideful
but a profound, deep strength of knowing and trusting myself.

I am capable
I am compotent
I am confident in the woman God has created me to be.

I trust myself.

Can I trust God?

When I left the corporate world of EDS and went to Asbury Seminary the most important thing I learned was to ask good questions. Naturally you would have thought that I learned how to answer questions, but no, I learned to ask good questions and over the years since seminary I have continued to ask even better questions.

These days I'm asking and wrestling with the question, "Can I trust God?"

Seriously.
Not can I say the words, "I trust God," but can I really trust Him to provide and work on my behalf.

"Do I believe and trust that God does and will provide for me?"

If I believe this statement, how would my day look different?

Waiting is prayer

My head says
Do, do, do
The fast eat the slow
You have to make it happen
Getting a job depends solely on you

My soul says
Wait, listen, watch, rest
Your strength comes from settling down in complete dependence on me [God] (Is. 30.16)

Waiting is not passive, it's not in-activity, although my body may be still.
Waiting is prayer, trusting, faith
while I "wait on the Lord"
He is working on my behalf

"God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right -- EVERYTHING.
THose who wait around for him are the lucky ones." (Is.30.18)

I believe - help my unbelief.

I am a little child!

Chesterton's passage about "Do it again" along with Herschel's quote "to be spiritual is to be constantly amazed," has deeply touched me. It has been a grace from God as different influences (Robert Coles, Sandy Eisenburg Sasso, Cathy Stonehouse, Richard Louv, etc.)have all shaped both my personal spirituality and my understanding of kids spiritual development.

The other day while in the woods, it hit me. I am like a little child.
I am thrilled to see yet another cardinal or woodpecker at my bird feeder.
I love to see "my" hawk fly through the backyard, two, three or four times a day.
I get excited when I hear the owl hooting in the morning, or
see the morning sun break over the horizon in the southern winter sky.

I am filled with awe and wonder at what God is doing.

What fills you with awe and wonder?
Are you too burdened with the "to do, perform, accomplish" list to even notice God?
Spend some time with a child, play and listen to them. They will teach you.

"Do it Again"

“A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, ‘Do it again’; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, ‘Do it again’ to the sun; and every evening, ‘Do it again’ to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy, chapter 4

Rabbi Martin Levin offered a wonderfully simple description of spirituality: to be spiritual is to be constantly amazed.

Perhaps that is why Jesus tells us adults that we need to become child-like in our faith.
I wonder why kids lose their ability to be amazed?
I wonder what I may have done as both a parent and educator to contribute to this lost ability?
What amazes you?

GK Chesterton Reading

Perhaps God exhalts in monotony
perhaps God is "stuck" in internal infancy
a place of awe and wonder
a place of play and discovery
a place of joy and trust
Every day He says to his creation "do it again"

Things I learn from my kids

In the last year or so Allie has become more aware of what it means to be adopted. She's always trying to figure out how everyone is related to each other, who's her step brother and sister, and their spouses.

After yet another conversation explaining that Daddy (Randy) is both her and Sarah's father, but Kaitlyn's grandpa, Allie pops up with, "I have 3 daddys."

I'm quite sure that another conversation along with illustrations of the family tree is around the corner. But being Allie she surprises me with,
"I have Daddy - Randy;
I have my China-Daddy; and
I have God my Father, who is my daddy."

Once again she surprised with her deep and profound understanding of God.

Sacred Time with my Daughter

The guys were at an all day basketball tournament and my 8-year old daughter Allie and I were having lunch at China House. (Allie was 20 months old when we adopted her from China)

In the midst of our conversation Allie said, "You are my real mom, but not my birth mom." I nodded and affirmed her statement, "Yes, you are correct." Then I asked, "Do you ever think about your birth mom?"

Allie replied, "Yes, but she is probably old, like 100 years old. Or maybe she's dead."

I listened then said, "I doubt she's dead. I think she might be young...young like your sister Sarah who is 30 years old."

Allie asked, "Could I meet her? [her birth mom]

I said, "No, because we don't know her name."

Allie said, "Well I could write her a letter and send it to her."

I paused, "Writing a letter is a good idea, but I don't think she would get it...what would you say to her?"

Allie stated, "I am your daughter, Allison Min Joy Tate."

She stops and laughs then tells me her birth mom would not know that name, so Allie replaces it with her Chinese name, Tong Min-Min. This is also a name her birth mom would not recognize, but Allie continues her imaginary letter,

"Even though you did not keep me, I would still love you." Signed Allie

What a statement of faith.
Allie teaches me so much about my own faith. I believe that all kids have a deep sensitivity to God's Spirit, but God's grace has touched this kid's life and she knows it and has a heart of graditude.

Surprise

Last January after the death of my dad; 2 major surgeries; and a tough year in ministry a friend gave me a devotional book called "Jesus Calling." I was very thankful for my friend's gesture and deeply appreciated her prayers and support; however, to be honest I was suspect of a devotional book. Devotional books are very personal and what one person loves another person may not.

I was surprised that I fell in love with "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. I immediately connected with her story because it began in the community of L'Abri started by Francis & Edith Schaeffer. Sarah's writings are a blessing and encouragement each day -- to connect to the Father, Son and Spirit; to live in the flow and grace of the Spirit; to trust and wait on God; to rest and not strive for approval and recognition.

Even though I do not read the devotion every day, I can't tell you the numerous times I have sat and wept because the words written were exactly what I needed for that moment. I gave a copy of this book to my wwKids leaders. Often I would text various leaders asking, "Did you read your book?" believing that the words would touch them as well.

Sarah also has a kid's edition of "Jesus Calling" which I love as much as the adult version.

God's gifts and blessings often come in packages I don't readily appreciate. My desire today is to have eyes to see and join in where the Spirit is moving.

Reflections on Mary - Luke 1.26-38

I want to be beautiful on the inside and out like Mary.

When I am thoroughly shaken, trembling with fear
I want to be like Mary.

When I have doubts and questions about how things will play out
I want to be like Mary.

When God remind me that nothing is impossible with Him (1.36)
I want to be like Mary and respond,
"Yes, I see it all now, I am ready to serve." (1.38)

When God's plan involves uncertainty and public embarrassment,
I want to be like Mary and respond,
"Let it be with me just as you say." (1.38)

When God's way is unclear and I can't see the trail
I want to be like Mary, confident
"believing what God said, believing that every word will come true." (1.45)

Luke 2.33. . . "this child (this situation) will mark both the failure and recovery of many in this community. . . a figure misunderstood and contradicted -- the pain of a sword thrust through me. But the rejection will force honesty in the community as God reveals who they really are."
Then I will be like Mary.