Thanks to my WW family

I want to thank my WW family for the generous Christmas gift. I am so blessed to work at Westwinds and be part of an incredible team who are sold out to shadowing God. I am honored to be serving along each of you. I have personally deepen my relationship with God as we have served together in wwKids ministry.

Thanks again - Love, Lori

A prayer for my friends

My friend, do not forget to care for yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
When you accept the gentleness and love of Jesus, you will become that for others.
Make time for yourself. Take a walk, read a book, take a bubble bath.
Care for your body. Exercise, eat healthy, get plenty of rest.
When you take time of yourself, amazingly you have more to give to others.
Create space in your day that has no agenda or "to do" list,
Part of being spiritual is being constantly amazed
When you open up space and time in your daily life, the Spirit speaks and She will amaze you.

Each new day is a freshing time, a time of possibility and promise.
Dawn brings awakening and renewal.
Dawn unveils the mystery of this universe.
Dawn is the ultimate surprise. . . it awakens us to the immense "thereness" of nature.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to end.
They are new every morning,
Great is your faithfulness, O Lord.

Embrace the Father's Gift

As I prepare for our Soul Dig January session I am comforted and loved to see how much Jesus loves us, by giving us the Holy Spirit. For years I felt like I knew Jesus and I knew God but the Holy Spirit was a mystery to me. I always thought my relationship with God was about what I did; rather it seems to be much more about what He does.

I am to receive, accept, not run away from it. I am to embrace and hold the "good gifts" from the Father.

In a culture that is filled with “takers” and consumerism, it is amazing that we have such a difficult time receiving the awesome gifts of the Father.

Stories of Transformation

Over the last couple of weeks my team at Westwinds has shared numerous stories of how God is changing their hearts. Our stories are important both for ourselves and the community we are part of. With our stories others are can be encouraged, challenged, directed and even corrected.

Hear’s what I’m hearing:
ONE: The other week I really didn’t want to be here (at church with the kids). I had a grumpy attitude. But when I was M&M studio the kids were singing this song (note: one I didn’t like!) and this little girl next to me began to sing. As I listened to her sing with love and conviction, God melted my heart. I knew I was where I needed to be.

TWO: Lately I’ve been evaluating everything I do and how I spend my time. Does this draw me closer to God? Is it a neutral experience? Does it draw me away from God? I feel like God is asking me to be more intentional about how I live everyday. Did that conversation, did that book, did that gathering, did that movie draw me towards God or did I feel distanced from him.

THREE: The other day I made all sorts of changes on an organizational chart to help this older volunteer feel good about what we were doing. The way I had the chart made more sense to me, but it wasn’t “the way it was done” before. So I decided that instead of arguing with this lady that I would willingly accommodate her “anal retentive need-ness” (oops) and give her what she wanted. I didn’t give in to her out of anger or frustration, I did what I did to help her.

FOUR: A friend shared that when her new grandbaby was born, the other grandma kinda pushed her way into the hospital room and monopolized the parent’s and newborn’s attention. I was angry and hurt but for the sake of the relationship with my kids I remained quiet. It was really hard but it was the right thing to do.

FIVE: Something happened a couple of months ago that really hurt me. It wasn’t intentional but it still hurt. Later I found out the information I had shared was not passed on to other key people, hence no one from church knew about my brother’s death. . . Through a lot of prayers and tears my spouse and I have decided to make sure this doesn’t happen to another family. We are going to stand in the gap and help the church establish some type of process to help other families who have a death in the family.

SIX: Talked to a woman the other day. She mentioned that even though she has 2 small kids, she’s been trying to spend some quiet time, time alone with God to listen for His voice. She’s noticing a difference in her relationship with God.

Each of these stories is about transformation. When you give up something you really would rather hang onto – your time, your chart, your desires – you “die” to yourself and become more like Jesus. Transformation costs you something. Just like in the child's book The Velveteen Robbit, it hurts to become real. Transformation happens when we let go of something to receive a “new, better” something.

How are you growing in your relationship with Jesus?
How are you being transformed? How is the Spirit talking to you? How is your heart?

Help Protrait @ Westwinds

This Saturday, Dec. 12 my coworkers, Mel and Sheryl have organized a community outreach called Help Protrait. This outreach to Paragon families (the school located next to Westwinds Church) invites them to come to church Saturday afternoon to receive a free professional family portrait. We have makeup artists, hair stylist, food and hospitality folks here. Our desire is to bless these families with this personal gift and let them experience Jesus' love through our WW people.

These youtube videos are great and express the heart of Help Portrait. Please pray for us serving this weekend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9tu1XrBn3A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3BFwgf1f2I


(NOTE Help Protrait is a national event. There are studios set up all over Jackson, Michigan, and the country)

Sabbath day of rest

A friend recently shared that over the last 6-9 months he had not stayed closely connected with some personal friends - friends that he played and laughed with; friends that asked good questions about his personal life, marriage and ministry. My friend said he was feeling the effects of not having those significant people present in his life and he shared a few ideas of how he would better stay connected.Through these simple observation and self-discovery moments, my friend is better able to "fine tune" his activities so that his soul is healthy.

Today, I'm taking the day off. I too have felt the effects of not caring of my soul. Even though I have officially had days off over the last 6 weeks or so, they have beeen filled with fieldtrips with the kids (great things) and all day visits at the hospital with my parents. These activities are worthwhile and good but take my energy rather than restore it.

So today is all about me and re-creating. I'm cooking, writing, studying, maybe drawing. Taking a nap and maybe hiking out at the reserve. I'm calling to make an appointment with my spiritual director. Then this afternoon I'll be ready to pickup the kids and meet another family to go help out at The Priceless Gift Store.

For me that is what Sabbath rest is about. Making time to restore my soul, stay healthy and connected to the Vine (Jesus Christ). The result is fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, etc. I'm a better follower of Jesus and a better wife, mom, friend, pastor

I wonder. . .did Jesus know he was Son of God?

Last week Dave McDonald (www.westwinds.org) taught on the incarnation. During Cue people texted in questions. One question asked was, "When did Jesus know that he was the Son of God - or part of the Godhead? What a great question!

Just recently I have begun to understand and appreciate the humanity of Jesus as a deeper level. I now see Jesus as a fully, developing/evolving human person who went through both developmental and spiritual stages.

For years I have consciously held the knowledge that Jesus is both fully human and divine, yet I have been introduced to some new information that has blown up my “box.” I am seeing Jesus to be a lot more HUMAN than I previously envisioned. Having kids and working with kids like I do, gives me perhaps a different perspective on Jesus – the Kid!

Having said that . . . here are some reflections on Luke 2.41-52
(Jesus in the temple when he was about 12 years old)

The family’s yearly journey to Jerusalem may have been like our family vacation with friends and family. Family routines and rules are relaxed as everyone is hanging out together. It is easy to see how one parent thought the other parent knew where the kids were – over with the cousins in the next “cabin.” I can’t imagine what it would feel like to realize that your kid is missing. He’s not over with these cousins, or that uncle or those friends. Where is he?

At 12 years old Jesus is no little kid (toddler) who has wandered off and is lost. Something has caught his attention and his focus has shifted, he’s distracted and pulled in another direction.
He is intrigued by this group of men in the temple. They appear to be learned men and their discussion is interesting. He sits and listens. How long does a 12 year old sit and listen? In our culture a kid could play a video game for 3 days straight! All this information Jesus is hearing doesn’t make sense, he can no longer only sit quietly, so he creeps in closer to the circle of men. Someone notices that he has been there for quite some time. One of the teachers looks at Jesus and asks, “What do you think about this comment?”

And so the questions and answers begin to flow. Hours fly by. Maybe this is one of the first times Jesus has sat with a formal group of teachers. Food is brought in to the group of men and Jesus eats with them. The sky is light, then dark, then light and dark again, but they are inside the temple and no one really notices. I imagine it is a like a young kid on an adventure in the woods – following a trail and then all of sudden realizes they have been gone for hours/days.

There is some commotion, there are some voices, a woman’s voice, something not often heard in the temple. It’s not just any woman’s voice; it’s his mom’s voice. What is she doing in here? All of sudden Jesus is not just “one of the guys” that the teachers are quizzing, he’s someone’s son – a son that has been missing, not just for hours but days! Oh crap – he’s in trouble!!!

His mom is angry, upset, emotional, astonished and relived all at once (women are such complex beings!) What are you doing? Why did you go off and not tell us? We have been so worried about you. . .

Jesus is 12 years old – he just got “caught” messing up. I think he knows that he messed up and comes up with the best possible answer he can quickly find. . . “Like come on Mom? Don’t you know that I’m special – Did you not know that I would be in my Father Abba’s house?” Geezz – he got out of that one. Pull out the big guns – I’m in my Father’s house – the trump card. I think that religious answer just saved his butt!

I can imagine Mary thinking, “I don’t care if you are special and are the Son of God, and you better listen to me – your mom – because I’m the one that is HERE in your face!!

Kids are so amazing. Just when they are ready to send you off the deep end, they say something that blows you out of the water. I seriously wonder if Jesus’ statement was a great escape clause (get me out of trouble with mom) – BUT was also an incredible moment of truth. Truth that was for the first time spoken out loud!

Ever have those moments that you finally say something out loud, something you’ve been thinking about for a while in your mind or maybe you've been having a feeling about something. As soon as you say those words out loud you know that it is a true statement.

Perhaps Jesus’ statement was like that. A statement that was Spirit lead. Perhaps this was a profound moment in Jesus’ spiritual formation. A moment when he got a glimpse into what his future would held.

Anyways they went home. So they went home where they all pondered and tried to make sense of this odd incident in their family’s journey.

Blessing Others

The other day my husband shared that he really missed not playing his guitar. In the 12 years I've been with him, playing music has not been a priority for him. He mentioned that he felt something was missing and perhaps it was his music.

I was so pleased to hear him express this desire. I told him that if he picked up his guitar and began playing again that everyone in our family would benefit and be blessed. I honestly believe that. Our kids need to see this other creative side to their dad; our kids need experience their dad's talent and see the pleasure it brings him.

Everyone in the family/community benefit when we practice and use the unique gifts God has given to us. Even if Randy never again plays in public, we will be blessed and encouraged to use our gifts.

I took his guitar to have it fixed for his upcoming birthday/cxmas gift. He doesn't read my blog so I can say this :)

Creativity

Most people in my life right now don't know that I have a degree in Art & Design from Grand Valley. My first eight years out of college I was a graphic designer and corporate communication specialist at EDS. In that time however I realized that I was a very mediocre designer and gradually moved towards the writing and managing various teams.

For years I have said that my creativity comes out in some of my writing, photography, gardening, cooking, and decorating. I did very little with my art training or background until I was at a silent retreat several years ago. At this particular retreat there was an art studio where I played, prayed and created a triptych collage with inexpensive material.

Lately I've been sensing not just a desire but a need to "play" around with my art. In November's Soul Dig gathering, we played in silence for a hour creating a sculpture collage. I was pleased and amazed at how all the women embraced the opportunity to create something. I think our desire to create is part of the Image of God imprint.

I don't write or create art for other people's pleasure or to seek their affirmation. I need to create because it nurtures my soul. It draws me to God. I need to do this for me.

A thankful heart

A heart of thanksgiving. . .
"I am sure we all know that I am one of the most thankful people in this world today, not just because of my freedom, but because of all of you. I wish you could feel my heart beating as I try and share my thankfulness with and for you. I will be blessed to be with my entire family at our home this Thanksgiving. My first one in 45 years.

I think of each of you, one by one and simply say 'Thank you."

- Bill

NOTE: My parents kinda adopted Bill 50+ years ago. He's always been a part of our family, even though he was not physically able to be present. He's like a big brother that has come home to be part of our family.

Stories of Transformation

Over the last couple of weeks I have been encouraged by the stories I've been hearing. Stories of how God is changing people's hearts. While each of us are on an individual journey we still need the community. Our community is the place where we have reality checks, where our stories can encourage, challenge, direct and even correct others.

Here's what I've hearing:
ONE: The other week I really didn't want to be here at church with the kids. I had a grumpy attitude. But when I was in the Music & Motion Studio the kids were singing this song (Note it was one I didn't like!) and this little third grader who was next to me began to sing. As I listened to her sing with love and conviction, God melted my heart. I knew I was where I needed to me.

TWO: Lately I've evaluating everything I do and how I spend my time. Does it draw me closer to God? Is it a neutral experience? Does it draw me away from God? I feel like God is asking me to be more intentional about how I live everyday. Did that conversation, did that book, did that gathering, did that movie draw me towards God or did I feel distanced from him?

THREE: The other day I made all sorts of changes on an organizational chart to help this older volunteer feel good about what we were doing. The way I had created the chart made more sense to me, but it wasn't "the way it was done" before. So I decided that instead of arguing with this lady that I would willingly accommodate her "anal retentive neediness" (Lori's words) and give her what she wanted. I didn't give in to her out of anger or frustration, I did what I did to help her.

FOUR: A friend shared that when her new grandbaby was born, the other grandma kinda pushed her way into the hospital room and monopolized the parents and newborn's attention. She said, "I was angry and hurt but for the sake of the relationship with my kids I remained quiet." It was really hard to do that, but it was the right thing to do.

Each of these stories is about transformation. When you give up something you really would rather hang onto - your time, your chart, your desires - you "die" to yourself and become more like Jesus. Transformation costs you something. (It hurts to become real - The Velveteen Rabbit) Transformation happens when we let go of something to receive a "new, better" something.

Detour from Matthew - kinda

For consistency of flow I could say that I'm still stuck in Matthew and move on to the second temptation. But I can't. I'm still stuck but in a way that I did not expect. I kinda have taken a detour. And my spiritual journey is full of detours. Things that I encounter that I did not expect.

THE OBSERVATION
The other week was very busy, really it was too busy for me.
From a Saturday/Sunday soccer tournament,
to dinner with niece on Monday,
to a visit with the Ganton residents on Tuesday,
to the Centre on Wednesday,
to Nurtured Heart parenting class on Thursday,
to meal montage on Friday.

The SELF-EXAMINATION & REFLECTION
In the past I would have listed ALL these things like it was badge. The one with the most activities WIN! But I don't think that now. While all of these activities were good and primarily focused on relationships, I was exhausted and didn't feel great and my daughter was sick. Is there a correlation or just a coincidence? I can't say for certain, but I do know my own tendencies to over extend myself and my need to guard against that.

I need to ask the deeper questions of myself and my motives. . . The First Temptation of Christ (Success). The first temptation of Christ, to turn stones into bread (Matthew 4.13) is the need to be effective, successful, relevant, to make things happen. You've done something and people say, "Wow! Good job! You did it right. You're OK." When the crowds approve, it's hard not to believe that we have done a good thing and probably God's will.

The SELF DISCOVERY
Oooooohhh. This is me. This is really me without the Spirit's guidance. I can so easily equate busyiness with being productive and feeling good about myself.

The RESPONSE
In the past this information, this self-realization could have lead me to "beat myself up" for days. If you have ever beat yourself up you know exactly what I am saying. It's a head game of self talk that says things like, "You are sooo stupid. I can't believe you did this AGAIN! It's your fault, you should know better than this. You're a leader at the church, how can you help others when your life is soo screwed up. You're a fraud. If people really knew how you lived your life, you wouldn't even have a job." WOW, those statements flowed pretty easy.

I have found that kind of self-talk is Satan accusing me. . . that famous comment, "If people really knew _______ (fill in the blank) this about me, they'd be out of here." I believe that when the Spirit reveals these things to me, She does so to help guide and direct me. This information is not used to condemn or beat myself up but rather to help me move forward with more self-awareness and insight.

Spiritual growth happens when we observe, reflect, discover and respond. (That's exactly the flow of the preschool Connection Studio curriculum.) Take some time - in the car, or 5 minutes before you go to bed and mentally run through your day - observe, reflect, discover and respond. Be still and listen to what the Spirit wants to teach you.

Silent Retreats - @ home

My spiritual director mentioned to me that she was planning a silent retreat at home. Her husband was going out of town for several days and she would be home alone. So she planned to "retreat" at her home. This conversation invited me to explore this type of retreat experience as well.

Most of the time I have a day off during the week and I'm pretty much alone while the kids are at school and Randy is working. I've started having some personal mini-retreats.Once the kids are at school I don't have the TV, radio or iPod on. I may have an extended period of time to read or write. I try to schedule in a nap and if possible a period of time where I'm outside, walking, hiking, gardening etc.

What I do is not as important as where my focus is at. During this periods of silence/retreat/ sabbath I try to be very aware of my surroundings and what is happening within me. I reflect more indepth on recent conversations or situations. I explore the various feelings I've experienced such as inadequacy or anger within myself. I ask the Spirit to teach me and show me what really is happening in my soul and then I listen.

I listen for the Spirit while I go about my day cleaning the house, gardening or doing some other activity that does not require a whole lot of mental energy.

Awareness

The other day I spent 5 hours with my brother, Dale. We talked about how our spiritual journeys have changed and deepen throughout these last 5 years. Even though we have journeyed different paths separately we have both arrived at similiar places. A place where we are experiencing the love of God and relying less on knowledge and performance.

Dale shared that he has been walking to and from work each day. These 40 minutes of walking has met various needs such as exercise, reflection, prayer time, and an increased awareness of what is around him. A simple change in his daily routine has had a huge impact on him.

My husband once said that spending time with my brother helped him understand me better. What an awesome complement.

Connection Studio - WWKids preschool experience

How would you like to find a place where you don't have to rush because there is plenty of time? A place where you can listen to hear God's voice? A place where everyone knows your name and you see your friends and share a snack? Each week our preschool kids experience this in the new Connection Studio.

This month the kids will meet the Good Shepherd. The loving, caring Shepherd who knows their names and guides them to still water and green pastures. The sheep recognize the Shepherd's voice and follow Him.

I am so excited about this new opportunity for our preschool kids. For over 10 years I have been reading and researching the Godly Play, Young Children in Worship, Catechist of the Good Shepherd and most recently Maria Montessori. The Connection Studio is wwKids intrepetation of spiritual direction for little kids. I have an awesome team leading this new adventure into kids' spiritual formation.

Still in Matthew

"Stuck in Matthew" sounds a lot like "Lost in Space," an old TV show I watched when I was a kid! When you are stuck you can fight to be "released" or you can just hang out and see how the Spirit works in that "stuckiness." I'm waiting, watching, wondering and praying. . .
What does the Spirit want to teach me through this Matthew scripture?

As I've been hanging out in Matthew I just "happened" to come across Richard Rohr's reflections ("Radical Grace") on the temptations of Jesus. Still surprises me how the Spirit does that, She leads me to other resources I need to hear or see.

The First Temptation of Christ (Success)
I believe that all would-be leaders must face the same 3 temptations as Jesus. The first temptation of Christ, to turn stones into bread (Matthew 4.13) is the need to be effective, successful, relevant, to make things happen. You've done something and people say, "wow! Good job! You did it right. You're OK." When the crowds approve, it's hard not to believe that we have done a good thing and probably God's will.

Usually when you buy into that too quickly, you're feeding the false self and the system, which tells you what it immediately wants and seldom knows what it really needs. You can be a very popular and successful leader operating at this level. That is why Jesus has to face that temptation first, to move us beyond what we want to what we really need. In refusing to be relevant, in refusing to respond to people's immediate requests, Jesus says, Go deeper. What's the real question? What are you really after? What does the heart really hunger for? What do you really desire? "It's not by bread alone that we live." (Matthew 4.4)

Westwinds' Kids ministry is different because it builds off some core beliefs,
that kids learn best through hands-on, self discovery environments;
that kids need to learn to ask good questions to engage the story of God;
that kids can learn to listen and respond to God's voice;
that kids play is essential to their spiritual development;
that kids learn the story of God and begin to connect their personal story w/God's; and
that kids will grow through consistent relationships with adults.

What we do in wwKids in not because it is cool but because I believe it touches the deep heart-felt needs of our kids and will build the foundation for their spiritual journey to Jesus, the son of God.

In my quiet moments with God I ask the Spirit to help me go deeper. To examine myheart and motives. Why do I do what I do? Am I seeking the approval of others or is God's approval most important? Whatever I discover through this process of self reflection, I must be gentle with myself. Be kind to myself. The Spirit does not accuse me. Satan does that. The Spirit gently guides me to a deeper place of self awareness and then stays with me as we journey together.

New Place

Just a short distance from our place there is a 500-acre perserve. The kids and I went out Thursday after school. I'll admit that the idea was not immediately embraced by the kids although they liked that Jake (our dog) could come with us.

As we moved into the forest, Jeff got a bit more excited, recalling other places that he and I had hiked in Ohio and Kentucky. Allie took a bit longer to warm up, but became more engaged as she tried to find me the "most perfect red leaf." Then we found sassafras trees and bushes. This tree has 3 unique leaves on it, so it was fun to see if we could identify the 3 leaves and find more trees.

The 1.4 mile trail took us about 40 minutes to walk and we were the only ones out there. That's important to an introvert like me. You can't be noisey in the woods! It just doesn't work.

Big thanks to my Westwinds' friends who told me about this great place. I am sure that I will make frequent visits with my family or more realistically I'll drag out ny family out there with me! At least the dog likes to go with me.

Stuck in Matthew

I'm wondering what the Spirit wants to teach me through this scripture. I'll sit and let it "compost" and see what happens.

So continuing in Matthew... Jesus is just baptized and a voice from heaven says, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Now Jesus has been led into the desert by the Spirit to be tempted. He's been fasting for 40 days and nites.

I wonder how you feel after being alone in the desert for 40 days and nites? I wonder how you feel after not eating for 40 days? I wonder if Jesus is tired, dirty, grumpy? I wonder if Jesus was lonely or was he used to being alone? I don't think I would be at my "best" after 40 days of living like that - isolated, emotionally and physically tired and hungry.

Matthew 4.3 says, "The tempter came to him and said, "if you are the son of God. . ." Satan knows how to attack us. He uses a similar phrase that the voice from heaven uses in 3.17. He questions Jesus' understanding of who He is - the Son of God. Satan tries to plant a seed of doubt and then challenges Jesus by saying, prove to me you are the son of God by turning these stones into bread.

Satan wants me to doubt what God says about me. He doesn't want me to really believe that I am the beloved daughter of God; that God loves me, Lori Ann Tate. We become dangerous people (to Satan) when we really believe and trust what God has said about us. We become dangerous because we don't believe Satan's lies and he holds less power/control in our life.

Each day
each hour,
each moment of my life
I get to choose who I believe.

Do I believe and trust what God says about me or
do I believe and accept the lies that Satan tells me.

Accept the gift of God's love and
live there as His beloved daughter.
God's love will change your life.

More thoughts from Matthew

I've been doing a little bit of inductive Bible study on Matthew. The other day I observed that when Jesus was baptized (from Matt. 3.13-17), even though he had not started his ministry God the Father says, "this is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased." That has significant meaning to me, since I struggle with letting myself to loved by God for simply being me.

According to Matthew's gospel immediately following the batpism Jesus is led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Right after this HUGE confirmatmion - you are my beloved son, Jesus is led to the desert. There is such a stark contrast from between "This is my beloved son" and oh "let the Spirit lead you to the desert to be tempted for 40 days." This is an unexpected turn of events, at least in my mind. I'm thinking that after receiving this great public blessing at the baptism things might go well for Jesus. But my understanding of what is best and God's understanding is very different.

One insight I take away from this passage is: Joy and blessings are companions of suffering and uncomfortableness. I don't believe you can have one without the other. If you are willing to dive in deeply and work hard in uncomfortable territory - your self-image, ego, anger, desire to control, desire for approval - then you will be able to experience the deep love and joy that is offered to you by Jesus through the Spirit.

Where is God's Spirit leading you? Is the Spirit leading you to the "desert" to come face-to-face with something you need to address? Ask God's Spirit to show you.

Thoughts from Matthew

I've been reading in the book of Matthew recently. Each gospel tells the story of Jesus from a different perspective with Matthew emphasizing how Jesus fulfills the First Testament prophecies. The adult Jesus isn't even mentioned until chapter 3.13 when he comes to John the Baptist and asks to be baptized. Recognizing who Jesus is, John hesitantly baptizes him. As JEsus ic coming out of the water, "at that moment heaven was opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

What struck me as I read this story was the fact that Jesus hadn't done anythng yet! He hadn't preached, he hadn't healed anybody, he's done NOTHING, yet the Father says He is well pleased. The Father says this is my son, my own dear son whom I love. Jesus knew his Father loved him and Jesus knew who he was in the eyes of his Father - a beloved child, a son.

Unconditional love is unimaginable apart from God the Father. We hear comments and some of them say with us throughout our life, uncless we consciously allow God's love & grace to heal us. Those tapes can be negative statements like "you're not responsible," "you're not doing encough," "you're fat, you're dumb, you're ugly." Or they can be blessings, "you're a good friend," "you always smile," "you're a good listener."

How loving is the Father that he blessed his son Jesus with those words, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased," BEFORE Jesus began his ministry.

I am loved. I am special because of who God made me, not because of what I do or don't accomplish at home, work or ministry.

Archetypes

Dave started a new series called Archetypes. It ties different personalities to various spiritual gifts. Each week as Sandbox we debrief but I find it hard to be objective since I love this type of stuff.

Week one, September 13, was the intellectual. The "smarty pants, a thinker, a learner and seeker of truth." Every test or inventory I've taken in the last 10-15 years point me in this direction of intellectual/thinker. Yet when I think of the intellectuals I know like Dave, JVo or Ben, I typically see men. So I began to wonder, can a woman be an intellectual?

Yes, women can be intellectuals. While at seminary I loved to spend hours reading or studying the Bible. (I was single at that time). After I married and had my son, I was asked to lead a Bible study. I hesitanted because I didn't have the time prepare an inductive Bible study from scratch. My life and priorities were changing, I still loved Jesus, I just couldn't spend hours studying or reading.

The other day I got 3 new books from Amazon.com. I couldn't wait to look through them and begin reading. Since I had no time, I took one in the car to skim through while we drove to the store. The kids were noisey, the radio blasting a football game and all I wanted to do was yell "shut up" so I could read. That's when I knew I was truly an intellectual, but it's not fitting into this season of my life!

Being an unfulfilled intellectual is frustrating. I have to snatch brief 10 minutes segments before bed or in a coffee shop to read, but I am learning it's not how much I read and study that is important BUT how I am integrating and letting the truth of what I read shape and form who I am.

There will be a day when I can sit and study for hours, but today is NOT that day. Today as I move through my day as a mom preparing meals, taking care of household business and myself, I will let the Spirit guide me. Conscious of her presence, living my life with peace and joy for the gifts I hold.

check out the archetype series at www.westwinds.org

Who's ever 6 loves more!

This is Allie during our last days in China (5/03). She is the fourth one in from the left. It is tradition for each travel group to get a photograph of their daughters on the red couch at the White Swan. As you can see from the photo this is an adult thing, not necessarily embraced by the kids.

Yesterday morning Allie came down at 6a and cuddled in my lap and began the "game," Who is 6 loves more, she says. "No" I reply, "whoever is 46 loves more, besides you're not 6 until Sunday."

Today is Allie's bday. She is soooo excited. We're celebrating her bday with Grandma & Grandpa, and a few friends. I cannot imagine not having her in our life. I cannot imagine life without her smiles, hugs, secrets, "pinky promises".

I cannot imagine what it must be like to not be able to provide the most basic things for your family. To not be able to provide food for your child, or medicine or a warm, safe place to sleep. I cannot imagine even thinking about giving a child away. My heart breaks when I think about Allie's "China Momma" who has never seen her smile or received one of her special "Allie's squeeze your guts out" hug. I pray peace for Allie's "China Momma."

Pembroke

The other day when we were in Detroit I took Jeff by my old elementary school and the house I grew up in til I was 10 years old.

I can't tell you my phone number or address when we lived in Tipp City, Ohio but I can tell you that info from 30+ years ago.

KE8.1226 or otherwise translated 538.1226
12743 Pembroke
Detroit, MI 48219

Several weeks ago I set up the aquarium with milk weed and some caterpillars. This is all sitting on the kitchen counter so we don't miss a step of this mysterious transformation process. Originally I thought I had 4 larva/caterpillars but it turned out there was a fifth. Two catepillars died and 2 made their "ccccccocoons" (that's how Allie & I say it, always with a smile), and the last one is being transformed right now.

The first butterfly emerged but it's wing was not right. After watching it for seveal hours, I picked up the butterfly hoping if I could get it upright it would stretch out it's wings. Unfortunately even though we had done everything right, the butterfly did not make it.

The second butterfly (seen above) emerged beautifully. I took him outside and for 20-30 minutes he stretched and dried his wings and flew away.

Both of these caterpillars/butterflies had the same environment, same care but one made it and the other one didn't. I've been frustrated with some aspects of ministry lately and my butterflies helped me realize I can't make them fly. I can't make their wings work. I can only provide the environment - safe, nurturing - in which they can grow and do their own work of becoming who God intended them to be - a monarch butterfly.

"Good News"

In the final week of summer my childcare arrangements crumbled. I had planned to work at home but knew that it wasn't the best for me or the kids. I called my parents and asked if they could help. Unless they have an appointment (meaning a doctor!) they always come.

As I left the house that morning I told Jeff to take care of Grandma & Grandpa. If he went fishing with Grandpa be careful walking back to the pond, etc. After a busy day at work, I asked Mom if there was anyway the kids could go home with them and spend the night with them. She said it would work out fine.

I was hesistant to tell Jeff about the plans, thinking he would not want to spend the time at Mom and Dad's. But when I told Jeff the new plans, he said, "Great. Can I go and tell Allie the good news?" I was filled with joy and graditude that my 9 year old son would be excited to hang out with my 80+ year old parents.

First Day of Kindergarten

Allie began kindergarten on Tuesday. She has been soooo excited to start school. I'm so glad that we waited that extra year for her. She is confident and eager to learn and smart!

We play a game with cards and marbles. Luck is involved but there is definitely strategy as well. She keeps beating me and loves to rub it in.

He's Nice

Bill's phone personality lines up with who he is in real life, except bigger! Bill stands about 6'2, he's a big guy. I wasn't totally surprised at how well things went on Saturday. If Bill was a friend of my parents, I knew he would be an OK guy.

My family joked and kidded and harrassed each other like normal and Bill joined right in a bit. For 30 years, Bill promised my dad a steak dinner so that's what we had. He didn't know what kind of ice cream to get so he got 6 kinds to make sure Mom had her favorite. He helped the kids when the frisbee got stuck in the 10 ft bushes. When I told him that he could "yell" at our kids if they were messing around (wrestling on the furniture or something), he replied, "No, I don't yell at kids. I had plenty of that growing up and I won't do that." I sensed an inner peace within Bill.

When we had a few moments alone Bill expressed his gratitude for what I said at the public probation hearing. The attorney general made the comment that they were concerned that Bill would be a threat to the vulnerable people of society - the young & old. When there was an opportunity to speak at the hearing, I shared that some of the dearest people in my life are represented in the most vulnerable groups of our society - the very young and the very old. I said that I trust that my children and my elderly parent would be completely safe with Bill.

It was a good day. A day of celebration and dreams fulfilled. It is another chapter in our family's story. When it was time to leave we were all talking about plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas, where was it going to be, who could come, etc. We got into the car and Jeff said, "That was fun. Mr. Bill is really nice."

These are our stories

Today we are celebrating Mom's 83 birthday. I turned down a chance to see U2 to keep this commitment. Honestly if it had been just us kids getting together for Mom's birthday, I probably would have gone to U2. But this year Mom's birthday celebration is being hosted by my "big brother" Bill, whom I have never met.

Bill was the kid my parents befriended 45-50 years ago. He played softball on my dad's team. Some 40 years ago, Bill murdered an elderly lady and has spent the last 44 years in prison.

This is our family's story. The story of Bill. The story of parents who have journeyed with him, visiting him in prison and sending notes of encouragement, etc. As a kid we would get a letter from Bill and I remember asking Mom who was this guy and the story of Bill was retold. In more recent years, Bill would call on holidays and Mom and Dad's birthdays so we have had a chance to talk to him.

Over the years Bill began to refer to my parents as Mom and Dad. And I began to refer to Bill as the big brother I've never met.

This story is now being told and held by my kids, ages 5 & 9. When they receive a birthday card in the mail and ask "now who is this guy? Bill?" I tell the story of Bill, but extend it to include the story of their grandparents, heros who have faithfully cared and loved the prisoner.

Driving home from school one day the radio was telling about the big NFL player who hit a pedestrian and killed him. I made some comment about how stupid the guy (football player) was and he should go to prison. My nine year old, Jeff pops in and said we have forgiven Bill and he killed someone, so maybe we need to forgive this football guy!

I was surprised by Jeff's comment. He had made a connection between the two stories and knew there was grace to be given. I was humbled by Jeff's comment and again amazed at how the Spirit uses my kids to speak into my life.

These are our stories. These stories should not be lost. Remember do not forget. Remember when God provided, remember when He rescued you, remember when you received grace and mercy. Remember

Story of Kim Phuc

This vivid image from June 8, 1972 is a 9-year-old girl from Vietnam who was severely burned over 75 percent of her body. Her clothes literally melted from her body. Several years ago I saw Kim tell her story of redemption and grace on the Oprah show. Oprah's show also highlighted other children's whose life stories changed the world, such as the little skeleton of a girl from Ethiopia and the child in the "dying room" in China.

Who stands up for our little children? Who protects our children and the children of the world? Who cares for the "least of these"?

Those to whom much is given, much is required.

Life 101

Been a busy and intense couple of days. Nine extra people crashed at our house over Labor Day weekend and then we moved right into the first day of school. New routines & schedules as well as new teachers for the kids.

We have a full plate of new things this fall at the Winds - good stuff but I need to continuously hold "good" things in balance with what is truly essential and best.

We have a new preschool Connection Studio beginning on Sunday (9.13). I am soooo proud of my leaders and the women they are leading. They jumped right in and for months have worked towards launching this new preschool studio that will inspire awe and wonder in our children.

Mom turns 83 on Saturday (9.12) and we will be celebrating her birthday with family. Including this gentleman that has always been a part of my life, yet I've never met. His name is Bill. When he was a teenager, he did some horrible things and consequently spent 44 years in prison. My parents have journeyed with Bill all those years and this past May he was released from prison. I finally get to meet him face-to-face.

Jeff has his first select soccer game this Sunday (9.13).

We have a 4-session parenting class called Nurtured Heart Approach (9.17). So excited to be learning from Greg Gallagher and hanging out with other parents who desire to become better parents.

I am developing and teaching my core leaders the "Same Page" overview for all of wwKids (9.19), then we will begin to offer this core training to everyone who is currently serving and will begin serving in wwKids.

Of everything going on I have to admit that I am most excited about Soul Dig (9.24). I have prepared and will facilitate a 8 month class called Soul Dig. We will meet once a month for 3 hours of centering prayer, lectio divina, art, journaling, etc. It will be highly interactive, yet deeply personal and reflective. I am humbled to be journeying with this group of women. We will end our 7 months together with a 4-day silent retreat in Huntington, Indiana.

Finally the Winds will be adding a mid-week meeting called, The Centre (10.2). This gathering will require weekly childcare arrangements. I'd love to offer a kids' program but I do not have staff or volunteers to do that.

. . . end of October a week's vacation, a trip to the UP fall cottage. It's a sacred place, for me.

The Lord is my shepherd. . . I lack for nothing.

Pure Gift

Yesterday was pure gift. I woke up with a heavy heart & many things on my mind, but God blessed my day.

My gift was non ending:
baking zucchini muffins

riding bikes with the kids
picnic lunch at the lake

buying .25 cent zucchini

sharing an ice cream flurry - 3 ways

a butterfly that sprung from its cocoon, yet did not make it
napping with my son
painting & fishing

Teaching Jeff to use the "good" knife and cut zucchini to put in the food processor. He got 8 cups from 3 zucchini. I realized that I don't give my kids enough "meaningful" responsibility. Jeff was incredibly excited to do this new task. He was capable and compotent and now each time this winter when I make zucchini muffins, I'll remind Jeff about the day he was such a big help to me.

I felt God's presence with me all day.
What a loving gift from a loving father.

Mother Teresa - story of grace

One night, a man came to our house to tell me that a Hindu family, a family of 8 kids, had not eaten anything for days.
They had nothing to eat.
I took enough rice for a meal and went to their house. I could see the hungry faces, the children with their bulging eyes. The sight could not have been more dramatic!
The mother took the rice from my hands, divided it in half and went out. When she came back a little later, I asked her, "Where did you go? What did you do?"
She answered, "They also are hungry." "They" were the people next door, a Muslim family with the same number of children to feed and who did not have any food either.
That mother was aware of the situation. She had the courage and the love to share her meager portion of rice with others. In spite of her circusmtances, I think she felt very happy to share with her neighbors the little I had taken her.
In order not to take away her happiness, I did not take her any more rice that night. I took her some more the following day.

Mother Teresa - Missionaries of charity prayer

There is a prayer that the Missionaries of Charity pray every day. Cardinal Newman wrote it:

Jesus, help me to spread your fragance wherever I am.
Fill my heart with your Spirit and your life.
Penetrate my being and take such hold of me that my life
becomes a radiation of your own life.
Give your light through me and remain in me in such a way
that every soul I come in contact with can feel your presence in me.

May people not see me, but see you in me. . .

May I preach you with actions more than with words, with the example of my actions, with the visible light of the love that comes from you to my heart. Amen

Mother Teresa - prayer

Prayer makes your heart bigger, until it is capable of containing the gift of God himself.

The first requirement for prayer is silence. People of prayer are people of silence.
- Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa - Love begins at home

Sometimes it is harder for us to smile at those who live with us, the immediate members of our families, than it is to smile at those who are not so close to us.
Let us never forget: love begins at home. - Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa - Smile

Once, some years ago, a group of teachers from the US came through Calcutta. After visiting the Home for the Dying in Kalighat, they came to see me.

Before they left, one of them asked me if I would say something that they could keep as a remembrance of the visit and that would also be useful to them.

"Smile at one another. Smile at your wives." (I have the feeling that we are in such a hurry that we do not even have time to look at one another and smile.)

One of them said, "Mother, it is obvious that you are not married!"
"Yes, I am," I answered. "Sometimes it is very difficult for me to smile at Jesus because he asks too much of me."

NOTE: During my 2 year spiritual direction program, I had to "walk" with a saint. I chose Mother Teresa, or rather she chose me. Her life has deepen my understanding of what it means to love Jesus and follow him.

Mother Teresa

Today is Mother Teresa's birthday. She was born August 26, 1910. Her name was Anges and she was the youngest of 3 kids. Her mother, a huge influence in her life, cared for the poor and "fringe" people of the community. Even after the family lost all their wealth, her mother continued to serve those in need.

Parents are the most influential person in a child's life.

Garden Therapy

I told my husband the other day I was nesting. I quickly reassured him that I was not pregnant! Seriously though I do feel like I am nesting. Over the last couple of weeks I've froze a bushel of corn, about 10 cups of zucchini, 20 pounds of Michigan blueberries and 10 pounds of "ripe" bananas.

While I have worked in the kitchen preparing this food for my family, I have felt a deep satisification by providing healthy food for them. I realize that my garden is spiritual experience at many levels. From preparing the earth, planting the seeds and now harvesting the produce.

The provisions of Mother Earth nurture my body, soul and spirit.

Sunday @ Westwinds

Ben Redmond, my friend and co-worker, has been speaking about investing in long term relationships, with an emphasis on parenting. He's asked me, along with 3 other people to be part of a panel discussion Sunday morning at Westwinds.

U-stream the service live at 9 or 11 or you can down the podcast later in the week.

Love my garden & my friends

Through the wonders of the internet, I have once again connected with my soul mate/friend, Caitlin. We worked and served together at Ginghamsburg Church, working together on the first issues of Len Sweet's SoulCafe magazine. We've made homemade pickle relish one summer and batches of Christmas cookies later in the year. She and her husband were part of our home group.

She's a learner with degrees in literature and a law degree (highest scores ever received from the University of Dayton). She's a gardener and adventurer. There is nothing she would not try.

I am blessed to have friends like Caitlin. Plus she shares her gardening secrets like this marinara sauce which consists of roasted tomatoes, basil, oregano, onions, garlic and olive oil. Yummy, yummy. The house smells fabulous!

I'm on call for jury duty for the next two weeks. Not the local jury but district court in downtown Detroit. So each day after 6p I have to make a call to see if I have to re-arrange my life and plans for the following day. Talk about having to be flexible. Surprisingly I am pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I have to do it; I can be stressed and ugly about it or I can "hold my plans loosely" and trust.

Holding loosely. . . the rich young man walked away from Jesus deeply sadden, because he was holding on tightly to his possessions which gave an illusion of security, and he couldn't or wouldn't let go. I like to think that Jesus and the guy meet up again sometime and at this encounter the guy at least tries to loosen his grip on his "stuff" so he can follow after Jesus.

What do you hold tightly to? What is your "stuff"? Control at work or in relationships? Your kid's behavior? money, time? I believe that we are all holding onto something that we think will help make us happy. Ben talked about the only thing we can control in a relationship is ourselves! I can't fix my child; I can't make my husband happy; I can't make people see my point of view. Control is an illusion. I can't do anything except change myself and love others.

As I grow in the Spirit, she has replaced my desire to control such things as relationships, mininistry, kids, etc. with the desire to serve and love. While that might not be evident every second of every day, it's a transformation I've experienced.

I am becoming the Lori Ann, my Father created me to be. I am becoming my true self.

Do you hear the Spirit?

Within the last 3 days four people from completely different areas of my life affirmed me as a good mom. Some people would say that this is just a coincidence but I would humbly disagree. For me I have found that the Spirit speaks through repetition, the same message delivered through various people. This time the people were my spiritual director, one of my ministry leaders, my previous spiritual formation teacher and a bus driver who just "happened" to stop by my garage sale!

I've been off the last 5 days. The kids and I went to see the movie "G-Force," we made s'mores, slept outside in the tent and watched the meteor shower. Jeff was a huge help at the garage sale, working shifts so I could be inside preparing a bushel of corn to freeze.

Last week I set up an aquarium on our kitchen counter. I found 4 - half inch lava/caterpillars and milkweed plants been watching 4 hungry caterpillars eat their way into oblivion. Ever read Eric Carlise's Hungry Caterpillar? It's ALL true, they eat like little pigs then lie so still you think they are dead. Although we've lost 2 caterpillars and the kids have learned some valuable lessons about nature, I'm confident that we will be the proud parents of at least two monarch butterflies in the next week to 10 days. It is an awesome life cycle to witness!

I have to admit that I initially received my parenting compliments with suspicion. Like something "bad" is going to happen so I must need extra encouragement. How silly of me! My Father God, just loves to give me good gifts and I am graciously receiving His gift and saying thanks!

It's the Green Beans

There are times that I am in awe at how blest I am.

The other day the kids were out of town, Randy was at work and I worked at home. I sat at my dining table, with my computer, books and papers spread out working on my 6month "class" called Soul Dig. There were several deer and sand hill cranes in the yard (no big deal at my house!). I studied and wrote then took the dog out to my garden where I picked fresh beans for dinner.

What drew me towards God that day? Beans! Green beans fresh from my garden. My garden not only nourishes my body it feeds my soul.

I am loved

This blog is not my journal/diary. I share parts of my life and spiritual journey only in hopes that it might encourage or challenge someone else on their journey with Jesus.

I want to be silent because I know that it is valuable to my soul and well being, but I'm not very good at it. The Spirit is so gracious and keeps on gently teaching and leading me. She draws and invites me to walk closer with Her. I am loved.

Fall is a huge time in the seasons of Westwinds and this fall in particular. I have two new part-time helpers, a new experience studio launching, new, new, etc. You get the idea. As a type A personality, when faced with lots of work/tasks I tend to get focused and do, and do, and do, and do. You get the idea - I do, rather than be.

My "slide" into doing is seldom intentional. It's just that when I'm under pressure I revert back to my old habits of doing/rather than being. My old habits include not exercising for 10 days becuz of a busy schedule and my back is hurting. So when I don't exercise I don't eat well and all of a sudden I've gained 2-4 pounds. My daily (physical) routine impacts my spiritual and emotional well-being.

Crap. One thing is out of balance and it leads to another area that gets out of wack. Everything I do is connected. Connected to each other and to my spirituality - my life with Spirit.

I am thankful that Spirit gently brings me around and faces me back towards the Father. Soooo. . .this week I'm back exercising. I'm feeling better, eating better and listening better to Spirit. I hear the owls outside, I see God's creative wonderous work, most importantly I hear and recognize the Spirit's promptings.

Meal Montage

Jesus grew

It is so easy for me to forget Jesus was completely human. Because I believe in the mystery of the trinity, because I believe he is the son of God, I just assume things about Jesus, Yeshi, that are not so. Like Jesus did not just miraculously behave perfectly and maturely. (But I also believe that Jesus was without sin.) Jesus learned to perfectly submit to His Father's plans and purposes. Jesus was fully human and therefore experienced the natural human development and growth of a human boy child (and man) such as hormones, getting along with his parents and siblings, figuring out his purpose in life. Just to name a few.

I don't believe that the boy-child Jesus knew he was "special", except perhaps in the eyes of his parents who spoke of hope and a future for their son. I'm thinking that Jesus was a very ordinary kid growing up in a Jewish home in Palestine. He played games, he got bumps and bruises, and he had chores and responsibilities around the home. He went to school and synagogue. He didn't always listen to his parents or get along with his siblings.

This deeper understantind of Jesus as fully human, encourages me to learn and grow. If boy Jesus didn't "just get it" neither will I! It encourages me to actively seek a more intimate relationship with the Father with the help of the Spirit. I too can experience the intimacy that Jesus experienced with the Father. This knowledge gives me peace and hope.

Time works it out

Lately I've been noticing that time takes care of most of my concerns. One day I am so concerned about this or that thing that needs to be done. My natural personality is driven to "fix" it, take action, make it right (I think I have less anxiety if I am doing something) but I'm learning that when I put things into perspective they have a way of working themselves out. I know that may not sound spiritual, but I've begun to recognize the Spirit's presence and work in these situations.

I believe that God requires a response from me. He gives and I have to receive and/or act upon what he has given. But lately receiving and acting feels more like a space of waiting and anticipation. . .

My strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on Him. . . God is not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to me. He's gathering strength to show mercy to me. God takes the time to do everything right --- EVERYTHING (Did you get that point, Lori Ann? I do everything in right in my time. You have everything you need to be and become the woman I created you to be. You have everything you need to be wwKids' journey designer.) Those who wait around for God are the lucky ones.

Thanks Father for reminding me of what I have - EVERYTHING. I lack for nothing!

What Grace do I Seek?

What do I desire to receive from God today, what is the grace I seek? Peace. All shall be well. Contentment. Faith. Confidence.

To see thee more clearly, follow thee more nearly, to love thee more dearly. . . day by day. Moment by moment. Step by step. (Draw me into your Friendship, pp 91)

This is my prayer.

An integrated Life

In the last 4 years or so I quit reading a ton of books because I felt like I kept stuffing more info into my brain and I did not need more to think about. My reading was focused on my spiritual formation/direction coursework.

Recently I began to pick up some leadership books like “Choosing to Cheat” by Andy Stanley, “The Fish & the Monkey” by Dave Gibbons and “Unleashing the power of the rubber band” by Nancy Ortberg. I’ve been surprised and pleased to see much of their thoughts and teachings have been reflected in my spiritual formation readings.

As I previously noted, I have known that my leadership style was needing some adjustments. Along with the leadership tune up, my time management skills had also become obsolete. Over the years I have made adjustments from the Franklin Planner, to 2 week plans, to one month calendars and goals.

Over vacation I was reading David Allen’s book “Making it all Work.” (I read other stuff too!) Once again I was kinda surprised but pleased to recognize Allen’s “working in the zone” seemed almost identical to “walking in the Spirit”. I’m definitely going to finish Allen’s book because I need somre fresh practical tools and practices that I can daily implement to make it all work.

Again and again I see how all of life is integrated. All is sacred, all is holy. The Spirit is working in and through my life. I pray that I have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Dancing in the Fog - a paschal mystery

I sensed a change in me beginning back in May – Mother’s day, the last weekend of my spiritual direction practicum, the weekend Conrad came. It marked the beginning of transitions, a paschal mystery, liminal space. Nothing necessarily good or bad, just is.

Leadership I: I knew for a long time that my leadership needed to be strengthen and my style changed. I saw my journal entries for the last 6-8 months and then I heard confirmation of those thoughts through various voices.

For 10-15 years my leadership approach was saturated in John Maxwell’s teachings. Set the goal, build the team, work the plan, and work your butt off. I’m not making fun of Maxwell’s teachings, there lots of great wisdom and understanding, but for me I was always left feeling inadequate (my life’s re-occurring story) and the unspoken need that I just needed to work harder or try harder to accomplish what my goals. At one level this approach worked when I was single and my time was more flexible.

These past 4 years I have been saturated in learning about the Spirit with the Dominican Center friends. As I grew in my understanding of the Spirit’s work, my day-to-day leadership reflected this difference. I was more apt to watch where the Spirit was leading and join in. I was less stressed about the end results, knowing and trusting the Spirit presence to be at work all along the process. I became less plan oriented (not that I don’t plan) and became more aware and dependent on the Spirit’s movement, both for myself and the ministry I lead.

The Spirit is already at work. I don’t bring her along with me to minister to others. She’s there working prior to my arrival. That is such a powerful concept and profound understanding. She, just like God our creator/Father, invites, encourages, prompts me to join her and Shadow God for the work already in process.

Somehow these two different leadership approaches need to merge and blend, creating a leadership style that is unique to Lori Ann Tate – follower of Jesus, wife, mother, daughter, minister, gardener. A style that blends my strategic, activator, focus, learner, intellectual strengths (taken from Marcus Buckingham’s StrenghFinder inventory) with the spirit-led woman I am becoming. A style that blends my natural thinking-striving personality with the newly cultivated heart sensitive side that is becoming me. Because my natural thinking-striving personality seems so strong, I resist against it more strongly.

My prayer:

Spirit let me embrace all that is me.

All aspects of my personality, all aspects of who You are calling me to be and become.

Help me not resist the aspects of my personality that frighten me,

(like my desire to please others)

but let us journey that path together

so that I can become my True-Self,

your beloved daughter.

All shall be well.

Kids Amaze Me

K6 Music & Motion Studio
. . .is really a lot of fun. It's not like "school", if you know what I mean! The kids here really enjoy themselves and they are very respectful and curious. Their ideas and questions floor me sometimes. During our May studio I asked the kids why the Bible said that God kept the disciples on the Emmaus road from recognizing Jesus, i.e. Why wouldn't God want them to know that it was Jesus right away?

One little first grader said, "Because maybe God wanted them to LISTEN to Jesus first. If they knew it was Him, they would be too excited, and He had a lot to teach them." Wow! I am constantly learning and being challenged by these kids' profound insight into the heart of God. I used her answer to help inspire all the following classes.

Comments from K6 Studio Director: Janet Deaver

The Power of Doing it Again & Again

In our K6 Experience Studios we repeat the Biblical teaching for 4 consecutive weeks. There are several reasons behind this approach: One – kids don’t attend every week; Two – we’d rather spend the time and let the kids get a firm grasp of the story verses covering 52 stories; Three – it’s a good flow for our teachers.

When I pregnant with my first child, the only piece of advice my 70+ year old mother gave me was “Lori, kids do better with a routine.” So I wasn’t surprised to see that same theme in the book “Perspectives on Children’s Spiritual Formation.”

Kids thrive in an environment of routine and rituals. This love for routine can be seen in bedtime rituals, daily routines and endless desire to read the same book again and again. Repetition and routine support kids’ need to know that they can trust those responsible for caring for them. Without these consistent patterns, kids can perceive their own world as chaotic and their well-being at risk.

Often as adults we may assume something is boring for them or that they need “fresh” creativity. In fact, repetition may well be one thing for which kids yearn. G.K.Chesterton expounds on this point beautifully. He writes:

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown up does it again until he is nearly dead. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite for infancy; for we have sinned and grown, and our Father is younger than we.

What a unique thought. That God the Father, the creator of the universe, chooses to do things again not because He can’t come up with a better idea but because like a child, He is awed again and again by the same thing!

Jesus said unless you become like one of these, you will not enter the Kingdom of God. I pray that I am humble enough to learn from these little kids. I have drifted far from my childhood days but still have much to learn.

Garden Therapy?

I’ve been gardening about 10 years now. Most gardeners will tell you that gardening is therapeutic. That it is good for their soul and mental health. I love to immerse myself into a gardening project. To play in the dirt, to create new beds, to move plants around, to get dirty and sweaty but feel satisfied with my gardening endeavors at the end of the day.

Recently Len Sweet twittered about the hidden benefits of gardening. It seems that common “bacterium in soil was discovered to act as serotonin-boosting antidepressant.” Sweet said wellbrutin or wheel barrow? Prozac or pick-axe? So getting your hands dirty can impact your mood? I’ll buy that theory! Come to think of it, we didn’t used to hear about a lot of farmers who were depressed? – another topic for another day.

How do you refer to your garden? Is it soil or earth or dirt? Maybe it’s something different each time you enter the garden.

Sometimes I need to work in the dirt. To do the hard work of creating new beds to invest my energy in. I need dirt and I get dirty and gross as I work off frustration, anger or whatever energy I may have.

Sometimes I need to work in Mother Earth. To smell the richness of her bounty and immerse myself into her life-giving womb, called Earth. She feeds my soul without words but with memories and sensations. I feel connected and one with my Creator God.

Sometimes I need to work in the soil. To lovingly prepare the soil to receive new life, seeds and tender plants that will grow strong and healthy and produce food for my family.

Gardening is really therapeutic! It is sacred space and time for my soul to touch the Creator’s heart. Nothing feeds my soul like a couple of hours of playing in dirt.